MereFigurehead

Hi. I've been lurking here on and off, and I love the way you guys support each other.

I drink a lot -- 1/3 to 1/2 a bottle of hard liquor nearly every night. Usually vodka, but I'm not particular. I have a naturally high tolerance and never had a hangover (I guess some people just don't), and I've gotten to this point of drinking in less than a year.

I live alone and work at home, so I'm pretty isolated, but I can still function pretty well (though I notice my ADD getting worse all the time). Every day I say I won't get drunk that night, and then it gets about that time, and I just knock down a tumbler of vodka really fast (I hate the taste) or go out and buy a bottle.

I know I have to stop, I'm killing myself, but I don't know anything about AA or 12 step, and the idea of walking into a meeting really frightens me, though I'm not a shy person at all. Can people get sober without going to meetings?

Anyway, I am very discouraged and feel really out of control right now. Thanks for listening.

doggonecarl

I'm not using AA to recover, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. You should be willing to do whatever it takes to get sober. If excluding AA prevents you from being sober, I hope you will reconsider.

Welcome to SR. Whichever method you choose, there is support here. Good luck.

GreenAces

Hey Figurehead,

A lot of people can make it fine without AA... Most can't... For me I know that I can't. The principles of AA are what keep me going and what have made me a better person. Going in to AA knowing nothing about it is a great way to start and most of us have started that way... The reason why I think it's a good way to start not knowing anything about it is because sobriety to many of us especially to me is a new way of life and I knew nothing about sobriety when I first got sober..

I would definitely suggest giving AA a shot atleast. You will definitely want to meet other sober alcoholics and find a support system somewhere. If you want more info about AA feel free to private message me.

reggiewayne

Merefigurehead.. WELCOME!!! Glad you're hear. There are a lot of great people around here and I'm sure you will find yourself in some of their stories. For me, I tried to quit drinking or at least control it for years. I could not do it alone. I have found AA and it has made a huge difference. There is so much that AA does it would be hard to put it in one post. All I will say is this. The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. If you have that, then you are accepted. You have just as much of a right to be at that meeting as the guy who has 20 years of sobriety.

I, like GreenAces, would suggest going and checking it out. I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Cob

It's not nearly as frightening as you might think. Most of our fears are nothing but vapors and once you've walked through it you realize how easy it really is. The greatest fear it would seem would be that initial wondering what the other person is thinking. Basically, they are probably not even thinking about you at all. However, many of the oldtimers may look at you and notice that you are new and even welcome you but I've learned that people seldom notice the red carpet that rolls out in front of me whenever I enter an establishment. Also it's weird that more often than not they don't notice the drum roll that accompanies the red carpet....and lastly I've found that most people don't even flinch when I come bounding into a room and the booming voice of ego shouts from a loud speaker and states..."Heresssssssssssssssss ROBERT"....badda boom bodda bang....I'm not making fun honestly, I'm poking fun at myself. I have so often been fearful of breaking out of my shell and going into a strange place where there are people that I don't know. But I do it all the time; for instance...I go to a doctor whom I may or may not know and converse with a receptionist that I've never met before and even may make small talk with her/him....afterwards I even pull out money to pay for the service for which is about to be rendered upon my person. Then I proceed to leave that establishment and go to a drug store where I meet more people that I don't know and wait in a line with people that I don't know (but sometimes I get to know them simply by striking up a nominal conversation) and then give my prescription to a person behind the counter that I've never met, tell them my birth date and continue to wait. The point is our fears are most often unfounded. But that doesn't mean they don't exist and those fears if not confronted will make us behave in ways that are not healthy. I found that by going to my first meeting I have finally been able to be sober for a long enough period of time to realize that I don't ever want to go back to that way of life again. I have no desire to ever wish to be able to drink like normal people. That was one of my biggest hangups...I loved the way drinking made me feel and did not want to give it up but at the same time I hated the way it made me feel and wanted more than anything to give it up...what a horrible existance...but that was me....then...and now I can say I'm fairly happy.

GypWin

MereFigurehead, Im new here but I just wanted to welcome you, so far it's been a very positive experience and although I cannot advise you one way or the other about AA, you have taken a step in the right direction by posting.And a step is a step. Be well and know that you arent alone.

MereFigurehead

Wow. You guys are great, I really appreciate the responses and the welcomes. I haven't seriously tried to stop drinking since I got this bad, so I'm totally a spooked newbie as far as AA and this board and sobriety in general go!


I think I probably should try to screw up my courage for a meeting, just to see. I'm sure that's good advice. And Cob, that post was right on target (and hilarious). I'm not usually shy, but I keep thinking, "But everyone will be LOOKING at me!"

GreenAces, I appreciate your offer -- once I figure out how to private message on this board, I have a couple of questions. I know nothing (there have been plenty of hard drinkers in my family, but nobody I'm aware of who's tried to do much about it), and I might feel better if I had some sense of what to expect.

THANK YOU!

Dee74

Hi merefigurehead

Like Carl said, AA isn't mandatory for recovery (I'm not a member either) but I think - if you're open to all ideas - it's a good idea to check everything out.

This is your life you're fighting for so why not check out all the support you can get?

You might also want to think about seeing a Dr. Not everyone has problems with detox, but as one who did, I always recommend people make an appointment.

Here's some links to the main recovery players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Welcome to SR!
D

DayTrader

"Meeting" are just a part of AA...... they're not, uh... required or anything like that. However..... they're a GREAT place to find a lot of ppl who've been where you are, who can help you with what you're doing, and can guide you in your early sobriety.

I find personal face-to-face contact with others in recovery is absolutely mandatory (for me). If ever forced to choose, I'd give up all online "fellowship" for 1 good sponsor or one good friend in recovery that I get to see in person.

That aside, there are lots of ways to get "there" (sober and happy). In my case, the last program I wanted to go to in the world turned out to be the one I'd end up falling in love with. Keep your mind and your options open. And hey...... use as many of them as you can.

reggiewayne

One more thing... being scared to go to AA reminds me of when I taught fitness classes when I was younger. So many people would say to me they were scared to go to it because they thought everyone was "judging" them. I remember I'd always say, fitness buff's are waaaaay to into themselves to notice you. LOL. AA is not like that, but thought I'd pass along a joke....

least

I've been to AA quite a bit, tho I haven't 'worked the steps' or gotten a sponsor. I went to a lot of meetings early on for the support and friendship but now am staying happily sober with my weekly addiction counseling sessions and this site. I just celebrated my first year sober and am enjoying my life more than I'd ever thought possible.

It doesn't matter so much what you do to stay sober, what matters is that you put your heart and soul into it. Do give AA a good try tho before you decide if you want to go that route. Each meeting is different and some are better than others.

bellakeller

I just find having AA to be easier than trying to stay sober by myself. It's like someone having your back at all times.

CarolD

MereFigurehead....:.........glad you de-lurked.

I too think checking with your doctor about a safe de tox is always wise.

AA meetings.? I enjoy them immensley....and
...this is a very good explanation of various types..

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

I do hope you will come meet us...we understand alcoholism /recovery.

Welcome to our recovery community

artsoul

I'm not in AA right now but used to hang out at meetings all the time. There's really nothing more casual and down-to-earth than a bunch of sober drunks.... and there's lots of wisdom, too. At least get the Big Book ("Alcoholics Anonymous") and read it.

I'm self-employed, too, and thought I was doing pretty well but it just got harder and harder. Lo and behold, I'm getting twice as much done in a day as I used to, and am feeling so much better about my life.

You really can do this. It takes a bit of time for the obsessive thoughts to recede, but they do. Try just to stay sober one day at a time (AA tool). Glad you're here!

MereFigurehead

Everybody's so NICE! You all are making me feel a bit better and more hopeful about things, and even less spooky about going to a meeting. (Getting a little misty here....)

It seems so overwhelming and huge and such a commitment. And I worry -- I mean, I love my family, but I know how they'd be if they found out somehow. (Starting with "You're just being melodramatic," and going rapidly downhill from there....)

But I'm talking myself out of it when I need to get my courage up! I guess have to think about a doctor, too, I guess, drinking as much as I have been. That's something that never would have even occurred to me. Now I gotta get through the night without the vodka. (I do get through a night from time to time -- it's that second night...)

Sorry to be so me, me, me. I really, really, really do appreciate the warm welcome and the resource links.

oakleaf82

Welcome!

I have no advice on AA. I have not used it, and I'm not really planning to at this point. I find this forum to be very helpful to me...I am only on day 9, so maybe I will change my mind on that.