The police were here lookin for AS

Old 12-18-2010, 10:36 AM
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The police were here lookin for AS

So I am having my spouses side of the family tonite for xmas...about 30 people.
The police were just here looking for AS as he was the last person to have been with one his friends who OD'ed. They were able to revive his friend en route to the hospital....
Obviously he was not here..but will be here tonite... (maybe not now?)
Maybe now this will FINALLY convince my enabling spouse to let me "kick him out" once and for all....
Please send prayers my way tonite for me (not my son!) so I can just get through this evening...
My luck the police will show up in the middle of gift opening...
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Old 12-18-2010, 11:16 AM
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Sorry you are going through this and I am glad his companion is okay. Sending prayers for both of you...I pray you both find the strength to fight to find a better way.
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Old 12-18-2010, 11:40 AM
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My prayers go out too, that you may find peace in this storm.

Hugs
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Old 12-18-2010, 11:45 AM
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Why should we not send prayers for your son? Of course we should. He is the one who needs them most.
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Old 12-18-2010, 12:03 PM
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WIworrier:

I can feel your anger towards the son in HIGH volume! Everyone needs a prayer or two sent their way.

I'm the one that's used opiates for so many years. Our DOC is what keeps us locked inside the HE!! we live in 24/7. Thanks to a doctor thinking in 1984 I needed opiates to deal with the anxiety I was going thru, due to a divorce. I'm now 26 years later still having to take them off and on for injuries and several surgeries from being in the Army for 22 years. Unfortunately. Because the doctor fed these pills to me and me being naieve as to what they would do to me. I became addicted to them.

So the problem is: I take the pills when neccessary and have to go thru with drawals everytime I come off of them. I don't want to be on them and didn't choose to become addicted to them. I would gather to wonder if your son chose to get addicted to drugs. I would guess, Not. Your spouse is keeping him home to protect him. What if this was your daughter? Would you want to kick her out in the street?

Your son's friend od'ing might also be a wakeup call to him. Until he's READY. He's not going to find the strength or desire to stop using. It will either happen or he'll end up like his friend. Over dosing or dead.

Do say a prayer for your son. He's not himself right now and needs God's hands to surround him while he's lost.

TOD
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Old 12-18-2010, 12:15 PM
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(((WIWorrier))) - I will include your entire family in my prayers. Yes, that includes your son. I was once where he is, and am very grateful that I survived and found recovery. My ex didn't make it.

I do hope that you and your husband can now be on the same page, let your AS deal with his consequences. It has to be hard when you can't see eye-to-eye.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 12-18-2010, 12:18 PM
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My son has OD'ed 2x...He is 20 and we having been living his full blown addiction for over 2+ years..(though he had been using LONG before we knew)
I would send any child of mine out.. we have spent THOUSANDS & THOUSANDS on rehabs...lawyers...you name it...
He is gone all day at his friends...let him live there...just not here...
I NEED to get well as he is all consuming....its going to be my turn for once...and when he is ready...then he will be ready...
As he is the ONLY one that can help himself...
All I know is that I need to help myself....
I think I am finally going "over the bridge" to a better place...
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Old 12-18-2010, 12:30 PM
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You have every right to feel that way. You can only control your own actions and it's good that you understand that. I certainly don't blame you for not wanting an active addict in your home. However, you both need prayers, and while I pray for peace for you, I will also pray that your son finds his way out of the darkness he is now in.
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Old 12-18-2010, 12:43 PM
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WIworrier:

Okay! Now I know the rest of the story. I fully understand NOW why you want him out. Yes, I have to agree with you. It doesn't sound like he wants to be helped. That's really sad.

BTW: How old is your son?

Maybe if the police show up with everyone there? It just might make your husband realize where his son is leading yawl.

I'm really sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. I wish you the best and hope you and your husband can find resolution to this problem.

TOD
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Old 12-18-2010, 04:05 PM
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My daughter never od'd to my knowledge, but evrything else...I have been there.It is time to let him go with love and dignity...I also hope your husband realizes that the situation is enabling and not "helping". My sanity is my #1 priority now (and my daughter did get help after we let kicked her out) Hopw you have some peace this holiday season.
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Old 12-18-2010, 04:30 PM
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I will be praying for your family and your sons friend and that you find peace for your holiday and after as well.
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Old 12-18-2010, 05:26 PM
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i am so sorry you are having to deal with this situation especially here at Christmas - i will certainly be praying for you, your son, and your entire family - it sounds like you all need a break from the madness -
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Old 12-18-2010, 10:09 PM
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It is a sad situation all the way around. I can understand you being very angry and wanting your life back yet I know inside you still love your son very much and that it probably makes you even angrier that these stupid drugs have taken your boy over.
He needs to hit rock bottom. It may not help him but after you have tried treatment centers, he has od'd more than once, and he has been in trouble all at the age of 20 that it sounds like losing everything may be the only chance he has to survive.
Has he ever been kicked out before? It might help him if he did not have mommy and daddy to take provide someplace for him to sleep it off.
My prayers to you and your family. I hope you get your life back and that he does too.
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Old 12-19-2010, 06:03 AM
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WIWorrier
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with the heartbreak of being the mother of an addicted adult son. Unfortunately, I am intimately familiar with everything you are feeling.

You and your family and your son will be in my prayers. Have you considered going to Naranon meetings? And perhaps taking your dear husband with you? Between my meetings and SR, I am able to keep myself centered while the chaos of addiction goes on around me.

gentle hugs
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Old 12-19-2010, 08:30 AM
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Keep us posted WIWorrier. Worry never changed anything so try to enjoy your holiday celebration despite everything else. I'm sorry you can't put your foot down with your spouse and empathetically say "NO MORE!" What would he do if you said it's him or me? It really is a shame to let an addict come between the two of you and destroy your relationship.

Maybe it's time to work on your boundaries with your husband?
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