Chino

For the past 15 minutes my daughter was being yelling and crying at a friend on the phone, because he relapsed. I've done my best not to listen but a few words have floated through the duct work.

She is distraught and I will not try to fix her.
She is angry and I will not try to fix her.
She feels alone and I will not try to fix her.

What I will do is hug her if she comes to me, and listen if she wants to share. I will not offer advice unless she asks for it, and will only suggest she call her sponsor. I will not cave into fears of her relapsing. I will take care of my own issues, and posting here is the first step. I am powerless.

danielleg

I am not sure if I could be so brave, esp if it is my child. Remember to stay busy next time she is on the phone....

Chino

It wasn't easy tuning it all out, especially because my home office is above her room. I was on the phone too, knee deep in negotiations, but I managed! I knew my brain would get stuck in obsession mode if I didn't address it quickly, so I came here to type it out. All the while saying a bunch of uh huh's and hmmm's on the phone.

And it worked! By the time my daughter and I were both off our phones, I was settled down and she was already moving onto fixing herself. She very briefly told me her friend was the 5th person to relapse this week, gave me a hug and a kiss, then she was out the door to go meet her sponsor.

Thank you SR for helping me learn to let go and let God

wicked

And thank you Chino for reminding me at this exact moment that it works if I work it.


Beth

Impurrfect

(((Chino)))) - I'm so very proud of BOTH of you. It IS scary when you see people around you relapsing, going back out. But I think she truly is, at the point where she wants recovery more than anything. You've given her an amazing role model on the codie side (and I have to agree with ((CO)) - I think a LOT of us A's/RA's are also codies).

You've both been working your programs, and you both knew what you had to do...you came here, she went to see her sponsor. I don't think the brightest of Christmas lights could outshine the recovery in your house

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

Kindeyes

Chino
It takes a lot of effort sometimes to keep calm and not let our minds wander. That would be really difficult if it was going on in my work environment AND my home environment! Thank you for sharing.....it really helps to see how these recovery tools work for others.

gentle hugs