EJG123

Guess those of you who have an addicted son/daughter would understand that a mom feels a need to carry on for the sake of the family even when the pain is devastating. The holidays are tough enough but a lot has been going on in our extended family. A close family member who was my husband's age died unexpectedly from cancer. His wife is like a sister to my husband and she has been suffering terribly. Meanwhile my sister has retired and moved across the country to live near me and build a home nearby. She has moved into our home with her two dobermans. She and her dogs have been greatly stressed by these changes. I feel sorry for how deeply my sis and my husband's pseudo-sis are suffering. Pretty much I don't say how sad I am because my AD is on the streets addicted to heroin. To be honest I don't want to talk about it but neither do I want to hear about how miserable they are because I just feel worse all around and don't feel I can take much more. My husband says if we can just get through the holidays it should be less stressful but in the meantime I just feel like hiding. Any tips on how to get through this?

MissTara

I am sorry for your loss. And the holidays make it tougher to deal with things that we deal with. Maybe you could try to find a meeting you could attend in person? I am going to my first one tomorrow night....stay strong Sister!

keepinon

Miss Tara has a great suggestion..meetings always bring me a little peace, even in my worst times..sometimes it was just a safe place to cry and get some hugs after...You have alot going on, so now is a really good time for some self care..alanon readings, long baths, healthy foods, naps, etc. Try to find some peace by truly letting go of that which you can't control.Even if you don't beleive in God, try some prayer (like for a peaceful heart or serentity)..no one knows how it works, the power of suggestion to your brain may be enough!
My daughter is a heroin addict too.She got into recovery about 4 months ago, it happens and you can't know when.. but you can work on your own recovery in the meantime..the best gift you can give yourself and your family.:ghug3

EJG123

Thanks for the suggestions. I am feeling a bit better now because I have had a few hours to hang around by myself at home today and let everyone else run about their own business. I am glad that I continue to hear from my daughter intermittently so I know she is alive although living ever more dangerously. Anyway I do feel it is in God's hands and I am okay with that.

litehorse

i'm sorry you are having to deal with so many things at once especially since one of those things is an AD - that one thing is more than enough to fill anyone's emotional plate - i'm glad you had some time for yourself - you are the only one you have control over - i hope you will find many opportunities to take care of yourself

EJG123

It has been a big help to know that people on this forum are here if I start feeling overwhelmed. Thanks.

Serenity Bound

EJG, I know that for me this forum and my meetings were the only sources of calmness I felt during the storms. Keep posting, keep coming back, because everyone of us here truly understands. The holidays are stressful in and of themselves, add to that an addict and the stress level for me doubled. This time a year ago, my daughter was living on the streets in active addiction. Tomorrow she will celebrate 11 months in recovery. Keep the Hope alive and be good to yourself.

Hugs,
Chris

Chino

How about sharing that with them? They may or may not stop if you do, but they certainly won't if you don't. Say what you mean, mean what you say and don't say it mean. Nothing changes if nothing changes. It's all about boundaries.

I recently told a cousin I could no longer listen to her misery, I had my own stuff to deal with. I reminded her I see my therapist to deal with things, and asked if she'd consider returning to her therapist. She took great offense at what I said, but she's gone back to therapy

EJG123

Chino- Thanks- I did tell my sis and she gets it. It is hard to feel sorry about someone else's misery when you would give your right arm to be in their shoes.