Time4Me1

My latest problem is dealing effectively with someone who is treating me badly! I am 6 months into a new job at a busy hospital unit. I am a secretary (with a teaching degree) and work with all female nurses. I am a hard worker, very easy going, and nice (to a fault) I give the impression apparently to others as being insecure and inferior. I suppose it is because I am in some ways. In other ways I am a strong person who has over come allot and has worked hard in life. I am not exactly happy with my job as I have been unsuccessful with obtaining the teaching position. I have a very difficult job, as this position is crazy busy with phones, visitors, patient call bells, staff requests, paperwork, registration, insurance calls and the worst...... night shifts!!! But I need to work so have tried hard to make the best of having a job and fitting in. For the most part I have. This one woman however does not like me. there is no rhyme or reason for this as far a s I know. She is just one of those gossipy, back stabbing, insincere women. she is extremely condescending towards me and sing songy sappy sweet to the others. At first I thought she just needs to warm up to me and all will be fine. But its not getting any better. any way to make a long story short I am starting to get very upset by the way she speaks to me and treats me. I went home in tears after a very busy weekend and 3 night shifts in a row, because she did something that was an obvious attempt to make me look bad. Although my co workers seem to notice this, I am worried that she will continue to try and slander me. HOW DO I HANDLE HER WITH OUT MAKING THINGS WORSE. RIGHT NOW I AM BEING PASSIVE AGRESSIVE AND KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT GOOD. I AM AFRAID TO CONFRONT HER AS I DONT WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE.SOMEONE SAID I SHOULD DOCUMENT EVERYTHING AND THEN SPEAK TO HER. MY DAUGHTER THINKS I SHOULD JUST SAY TO HER "#$$# IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING, BECAUSE IF THERE IS WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT", in front of everyone . I am so bad about confrontation...but this is one of my problems that gets me into messes with people.

Kindeyes

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time at work. So much of how we handle things has to do with how we are feeling in our own brains. If you can, try to let the stuff she does roll off your back. Anyone who has the need to treat another person poorly like that has a lot of her own issues. Who knows. If she's just trying to get under your skin, the best thing to do is not let her succeed.

Do the best you can and keep your chin up.

gentle hugs

FGB

I've held that same job, and I know how difficult it can be. You're right, toss in all female staff and it can get worse quickly depending on your coworkers! I felt exactly the same way you do when I first started. Then I finally told myself that I was there to work and earn my living, not to make friends. If I make friends, then that is a bonus!!
You can't please everyone, try to find a way to just be cordial, and let it go. The others probably already know how difficult this person is, and won't take whatever she says seriously!!
Best of luck in the new job. It is an important job, and holds the unit together, it takes a special person to do it, and do it well. Take some pride in yourself!! Hugs, FGB:ghug3

Time4Me1

Kindeyes, You're right, I will try harder not to let it get to me!!!!

FGB, Thanks! It is a hard job and important, I think this is why I get frustrated and hurt!!! I just wish some people weren't so condescending, and could walk a mile in someone else's shoes!!!!!!!