Generally feel broken - looking for ESH
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Generally feel broken - looking for ESH
Dear SR..
I am doing well in general. Divorced. New job. Good friends. But I needed to ask this question. Does anyone else feel broken? I do. I feel like I am the odd man out. I feel like I dont do well with meeting new people in social or work environments. I don't get along with my family. I often dont know how to make chit chat with folks I dont know well. I am nervous often in social situations. I have no idea how to read people. And please let's not even talk about how I do on dates. I think I will stay single for a while after the last one. I am afraid of men in general even though I want a man in my life. I am insecure. I have no reason to be.
I don't go to my Alanon meetings anymore. Maybe this is part of the issue?
I would like to feel more complete and comfortable in my own skin. I am a Adult child of an A and was married to an A.
Has anyone gone through this that can shed some light and offer hope?
As I mentioned, I am surviving and making it through each day. But I feel kind of odd man out and broken..I feel awkward and always feel like I am making mistakes in things I say to people.
Thanks for listening,
Hugs
Lulu
I am doing well in general. Divorced. New job. Good friends. But I needed to ask this question. Does anyone else feel broken? I do. I feel like I am the odd man out. I feel like I dont do well with meeting new people in social or work environments. I don't get along with my family. I often dont know how to make chit chat with folks I dont know well. I am nervous often in social situations. I have no idea how to read people. And please let's not even talk about how I do on dates. I think I will stay single for a while after the last one. I am afraid of men in general even though I want a man in my life. I am insecure. I have no reason to be.
I don't go to my Alanon meetings anymore. Maybe this is part of the issue?
I would like to feel more complete and comfortable in my own skin. I am a Adult child of an A and was married to an A.
Has anyone gone through this that can shed some light and offer hope?
As I mentioned, I am surviving and making it through each day. But I feel kind of odd man out and broken..I feel awkward and always feel like I am making mistakes in things I say to people.
Thanks for listening,
Hugs
Lulu
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and odd. 
Definitely go back to your meetings. That's always the place where I feel at home, not judged, understood, and cared about, whatever I happen to be feeling or thinking or experiencing at any given time.
I'm in a different place -- I'm very much enjoying being alone, enjoying being in charge of my own life. Maybe it's just how I think about it, but I choose to spend a lot of time alone, and when I choose it, it's not a bad but a good alone, if that makes sense?
Do you go to counseling? Have a good counselor? Have some good literature to read? I don't do well with counselors, but I'm plowing through literature (Al-Anon's and other).
I think that when you get out of a relationship where you have been told who you are (or should be) and how you are (or should be) and what to think and feel and how your perception of everything is wrong, then it takes time to figure out what is you and what is just remnants of him in your choices/behaviors/preferences, kwim?
I've been separated (and NC) for a little over four months. My counselor says I'm in the "obnoxious stage" -- I deliberately do things that I didn't feel I could do while I was with XAH: I make potatoes for dinner almost every night because he hated potatoes; I light candles at the table every time we eat because he was always convinced I'd set the house on fire if I lit a candle, etc. It feels a little childish, like a latecome rebellion against someone who isn't even in my life anymore -- but I think it's a necessary step to finding out who I am.
Don't be afraid to be alone. You're a survivor, a warrior, and you've won one of the biggest battles of your life. Be proud of that. And be good to yourself. Take one step at a time. Not everyone can go from being trodden on to being the life of the party in one fell swoop. I sure can't.
Hugs to you!
Definitely go back to your meetings. That's always the place where I feel at home, not judged, understood, and cared about, whatever I happen to be feeling or thinking or experiencing at any given time.
I'm in a different place -- I'm very much enjoying being alone, enjoying being in charge of my own life. Maybe it's just how I think about it, but I choose to spend a lot of time alone, and when I choose it, it's not a bad but a good alone, if that makes sense?
Do you go to counseling? Have a good counselor? Have some good literature to read? I don't do well with counselors, but I'm plowing through literature (Al-Anon's and other).
I think that when you get out of a relationship where you have been told who you are (or should be) and how you are (or should be) and what to think and feel and how your perception of everything is wrong, then it takes time to figure out what is you and what is just remnants of him in your choices/behaviors/preferences, kwim?
I've been separated (and NC) for a little over four months. My counselor says I'm in the "obnoxious stage" -- I deliberately do things that I didn't feel I could do while I was with XAH: I make potatoes for dinner almost every night because he hated potatoes; I light candles at the table every time we eat because he was always convinced I'd set the house on fire if I lit a candle, etc. It feels a little childish, like a latecome rebellion against someone who isn't even in my life anymore -- but I think it's a necessary step to finding out who I am.
Don't be afraid to be alone. You're a survivor, a warrior, and you've won one of the biggest battles of your life. Be proud of that. And be good to yourself. Take one step at a time. Not everyone can go from being trodden on to being the life of the party in one fell swoop. I sure can't.
Hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I can't shed any light but wanted to lend you some commiseration. I am going through some of the same things. I feel odd, nervous, unsure, anxious, and down right broken just trying to make some girl friends. It is nice to think I might have friends again so I just keep at it and if they think I'm a whackadoo they must also think I'm harmless because they haven't crossed the street to avoid me!
The thought of a date with a man is....well not going to happen for a long while. I'd do something stupid for sure.
The thought of a date with a man is....well not going to happen for a long while. I'd do something stupid for sure.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
Lulu, I have no ESH, but I am there with you> I have been separated with mostly NC about 15 months, divorced 6 weeks, and my therapist says I shouldn't date for a year after the divorce, and I said "you mean after the separation, right? The time when I knew we were DONE and there would be no reconciliation." and he said "No. A year after the DIVORCE. Everything is just practice at this point. You don't know how to be single and you have to learn."
Does that help? Do you feel less like a misfit knowing that it's just too soon to expect to feel socially adept and normal? It helped me immensely to understand that I was allowed to be a little broken for a while.
I am enjoying my alone time so much, and I guard it fiercely. But I have 3 little children, so it is precious to me. But it allows me to read and think and write and just be without having to negotiate or please anyone else.
((hugs)) It's a hard time of year.
Does that help? Do you feel less like a misfit knowing that it's just too soon to expect to feel socially adept and normal? It helped me immensely to understand that I was allowed to be a little broken for a while.
I am enjoying my alone time so much, and I guard it fiercely. But I have 3 little children, so it is precious to me. But it allows me to read and think and write and just be without having to negotiate or please anyone else.
((hugs)) It's a hard time of year.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I want to say that "you" are not broken, but your "heart, dreams etc" were broken - at least that is what I am hearing from you.
You moved on to make changes in your life that were your choice and you seem to like those choices.
I do think it takes time to heal. Attending or not attending meetings may be matching your mood or new found focus in life.
I often feel that this relationship broke something in me... but then something upbeat happens and I am reminded of what I still have. I am going through a lot more changes as my kids also moved out. This wasn't my plan, so I recognize that things did not turn out the way I wanted, not broken, but unexpected. Some want me to move through it all more quickly but I think I am doing just fine going in my own time.
Sometimes I think others around me don't understand that just because it isn't something worse or the end of the world - it bothers me and I feel lost some days. I am learning to validate my own feelings and timing.
Finding out how I want to live the rest of my life isn't the adventure I wanted now, but it is what I get to do should I decide to accept the mission (ha ha) You have so much life to live yet... you have only reset the button and you have so many choices right now - choose again and hope you choose wiser than the last time. That is what we get to control.
Thinking of you.
You moved on to make changes in your life that were your choice and you seem to like those choices.
I do think it takes time to heal. Attending or not attending meetings may be matching your mood or new found focus in life.
I often feel that this relationship broke something in me... but then something upbeat happens and I am reminded of what I still have. I am going through a lot more changes as my kids also moved out. This wasn't my plan, so I recognize that things did not turn out the way I wanted, not broken, but unexpected. Some want me to move through it all more quickly but I think I am doing just fine going in my own time.
Sometimes I think others around me don't understand that just because it isn't something worse or the end of the world - it bothers me and I feel lost some days. I am learning to validate my own feelings and timing.
Finding out how I want to live the rest of my life isn't the adventure I wanted now, but it is what I get to do should I decide to accept the mission (ha ha) You have so much life to live yet... you have only reset the button and you have so many choices right now - choose again and hope you choose wiser than the last time. That is what we get to control.
Thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there lulu 
Not anymore. But I used to. Like there was some kind of glass wall between me and the rest of the world. I was in the world, but not a part of the world.
yup, yup, yup, yup, yup and yup. The first fewI have learned how to overcome and I am no longer that way. The last one? ..... dates? ..... um ...... yeah I really suck at that.
well.... I dunno about you but the more I work my program (including meetings) the better I feel.
Then check us out at the forum "next door" and see if there's anything useful for you:
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Mike
Originally Posted by lulu1974 
..... Does anyone else feel broken? I do. I feel like I am the odd man out......
Originally Posted by lulu1974
..... I feel like I dont do well with meeting new people in social or work environments. I don't get along with my family. I often dont know how to make chit chat with folks I dont know well. I am nervous often in social situations. I have no idea how to read people. And please let's not even talk about how I do on dates. .....
Originally Posted by lulu1974
..... I don't go to my Alanon meetings anymore. Maybe this is part of the issue?.....
Originally Posted by lulu1974
..... I am a Adult child of an A.....
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Mike
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Originally Posted by lulu1974
...Does anyone else feel broken? I do. I feel like I am the odd man out. I feel like I dont do well with meeting new people in social or work environments. I don't get along with my family. I often dont know how to make chit chat with folks I dont know well. I am nervous often in social situations. I have no idea how to read people. And please let's not even talk about how I do on dates. I think I will stay single for a while after the last one. I am afraid of men in general even though I want a man in my life. I am insecure. I have no reason to be.
I don't go to my Alanon meetings anymore. Maybe this is part of the issue?
I would like to feel more complete and comfortable in my own skin. I am a Adult child of an A and was married to an A.
Has anyone gone through this that can shed some light and offer hope?
As I mentioned, I am surviving and making it through each day. But I feel kind of odd man out and broken..I feel awkward and always feel like I am making mistakes in things I say to people...
I don't go to my Alanon meetings anymore. Maybe this is part of the issue?
I would like to feel more complete and comfortable in my own skin. I am a Adult child of an A and was married to an A.
Has anyone gone through this that can shed some light and offer hope?
As I mentioned, I am surviving and making it through each day. But I feel kind of odd man out and broken..I feel awkward and always feel like I am making mistakes in things I say to people...
(((hugs))) LuLu. You are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: england
Posts: 162
Yes im definetly with you on this,i feel a bit like that sometimes and i find it hard to even think of going with anybody else and also find it hard in some social situations and it feels overwhelming but i thought the other day that its because now i am starting to think of myself which ive not had to do for some time now,ofcourse we feel broken its only natural,so we should just relax and feel the feelings and dont react to them xx
We're not broken we are wiser! x
We're not broken we are wiser! x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Yes, lulu, I feel very much like the odd man out.
My depression is being treated and I don't feel bad that way, but I am lonely and I don't trust my instincts with people.
I am an ACOA and I still need help with that. I am 51 years old, and I can be helpful and kind to others, but feel that others are faking it for me.
sigh....
i dont know what that is about.
my psychiatrist said to try a light box, because it might help with the lack of sunlight in winter.
i am willing. anyone tried it?
My depression is being treated and I don't feel bad that way, but I am lonely and I don't trust my instincts with people.
I am an ACOA and I still need help with that. I am 51 years old, and I can be helpful and kind to others, but feel that others are faking it for me.
sigh....
i dont know what that is about.
my psychiatrist said to try a light box, because it might help with the lack of sunlight in winter.
i am willing. anyone tried it?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 293
I generally feel broken too. I have probably always felt "broken" since I was a conscious being. I am a daughter of an alcoholic father (sober 25 years) and the wife of a RAH (sober 9 months). I actually like being able to admit to myself that "I'm broken." The first time I stripped myself of my pride (the outer mask I've worn to over-compensate for all the inadequacies and insecurities I've had my whole life) and released myself from my false pride and the "I'm Ms. Perfect" air I've tried to project, I felt a sense of "surrender." I could now finally admit to myself that I needed help and I needed to start my own recovery -- a journey of lifelong healing (I hope). Over the years, I would try (reading self-help books and get involved with various causes, throw myself into my work which falls under the category of the "helping professions," etc.) --of course, all the while hanging onto my AH for dear life during the days of his active alcoholism/addiction. When I finally told myself, "Wow! I am really broken!" (instead of my usual fog of denial, "Wow! I am so amazing to be able to achieve so much and do so much despite my AH always dragging us down! Who else could endure as much as I? I'm awesome!") I think it was a cold, hard (& welcome) realization that *I* was the one who needed as much help --if not more-- as the A's in my life --that *my life* had become unmanageable as an enabler & savior.
Yes, I do feel the dips and bumps in the road. Sometimes the winding roads and uphill paths are tough. But for me, some of my first steps began with the admission that I am broken and have been for a long, long time, despite an image I think I've tried to portray of myself and my family as "picture perfect." (Those who are perceptive or have themselves been on the road of recovery must have sensed or known all along that my mask was one of denial & deception).
Coming here to this forum really helps. There are a lot of very wise and experienced folks here from whom I learn so much. I also attend whenever I can my FA meeting.
Since I have time for myself this week, I am thinking about hitting some new Al-Anon meetings. I may or may not like them, but it's okay. I want to go! By not putting up barriers as to why Al-Anon just "isn't my thing" which is what I've done (and catch myself doing), I may gain further insight (or not). Either way, it's okay. I'm just trying to learn to approach all areas of my life with inner peace and serenity. I want to teach my daughter *by example* how to find inner peace & serenity. I don't want her to feel like she has to wear a mask of false pride and false confidence to hide & over-compensate for sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, personal inadequacy, a sense of broken-ness, etc. like my mother has and like I have.
Thank you for starting this thread.
It made me reflect!
Yes, I do feel the dips and bumps in the road. Sometimes the winding roads and uphill paths are tough. But for me, some of my first steps began with the admission that I am broken and have been for a long, long time, despite an image I think I've tried to portray of myself and my family as "picture perfect." (Those who are perceptive or have themselves been on the road of recovery must have sensed or known all along that my mask was one of denial & deception).
Coming here to this forum really helps. There are a lot of very wise and experienced folks here from whom I learn so much. I also attend whenever I can my FA meeting.
Since I have time for myself this week, I am thinking about hitting some new Al-Anon meetings. I may or may not like them, but it's okay. I want to go! By not putting up barriers as to why Al-Anon just "isn't my thing" which is what I've done (and catch myself doing), I may gain further insight (or not). Either way, it's okay. I'm just trying to learn to approach all areas of my life with inner peace and serenity. I want to teach my daughter *by example* how to find inner peace & serenity. I don't want her to feel like she has to wear a mask of false pride and false confidence to hide & over-compensate for sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, personal inadequacy, a sense of broken-ness, etc. like my mother has and like I have.
Thank you for starting this thread.
It made me reflect!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Dear Lulu
I also feel broken,lonely and unsure of how to face life in general. I am treated for depression and have hope that this too, shall pass.
I think that we had to learn lessons sooner in our lives, but chose to fixate on an addicted partner- and when we leave them - the lessons have become bigger. The more I move outside of my "situation" I see independent (or so I think)people that take responsibility for their lives. People that will not stay in toxic situations.
I try to think of this as a period of transition. I sure hope it is.I will truat the process and I will also fake it till I make it, for the sake of my children. What are their chances if not one of their parents are "getting it"
Hugs
I also feel broken,lonely and unsure of how to face life in general. I am treated for depression and have hope that this too, shall pass.
I think that we had to learn lessons sooner in our lives, but chose to fixate on an addicted partner- and when we leave them - the lessons have become bigger. The more I move outside of my "situation" I see independent (or so I think)people that take responsibility for their lives. People that will not stay in toxic situations.
I try to think of this as a period of transition. I sure hope it is.I will truat the process and I will also fake it till I make it, for the sake of my children. What are their chances if not one of their parents are "getting it"
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Originally Posted by wicked
my psychiatrist said to try a light box, because it might help with the lack of sunlight in winter.
i am willing. anyone tried it?
i am willing. anyone tried it?
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Do you trust me?
Good.
Please take a quickie trip to Jamaica. You can get cheap RT direct flights from NJ to Montego Bay, (MBJ). Check out Club Hotel Riu Negril. It's a very affordable, very nice all inclusive resort and a 4 or 5 day stay would do you a world of good to truly decompress from all the crap you've been through recently. Talk a couple girl friends into going with you, or even go by yourself. You'll thank me later. BTDT.
Good.
Please take a quickie trip to Jamaica. You can get cheap RT direct flights from NJ to Montego Bay, (MBJ). Check out Club Hotel Riu Negril. It's a very affordable, very nice all inclusive resort and a 4 or 5 day stay would do you a world of good to truly decompress from all the crap you've been through recently. Talk a couple girl friends into going with you, or even go by yourself. You'll thank me later. BTDT.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Sample itinerary from ***** travel below, 5 nights 6 days just under $1300 not including the $40 hotel xfer to and from Sangster Itnl. Montego Bay to Riu Club Negril. It's all inclusive so you really don't spend much when you get there. Last time I think I took $200. I was wrong about the direct flight but I'd drive the 1 hr from my house to BWI to avoid changing planes, especially in Miami! On the return trip going through customs at BWI during a weekday is way faster than any day of the week in Miami. Fly during the middle of the week and and save money and you don't have to book months in advance.
I've done this trip twice and I'll do it again next year. It's tough enough splitting up and getting divorced without throwing in the mix the addiction crap. I don't know how most folks do it with out a quickie to Jamaica to decompress. There really is something about that Island, just like the TV commercials..
"Lets' get together and you'll feel all right"
For people into diving there's a very affordable on site dive operator at the resort and they treat you right. Scuba Carribe, tell them Scott sent you
Thu, Feb 10, 2011 Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) to Montego Bay (MBJ)
Depart: 06:00am
Arrive: 09:05am
Newark, NJ (EWR) to
Miami, FL (MIA)
American Airlines
Flight 1921 (on Boeing 757)
1 Stop – change planes in Miami, FL (MIA)
Connection Time: 4 hrs 20 mins
Depart: 01:25pm
Arrive: 03:00pm
Miami, FL (MIA) to
Montego Bay, Jamaica (MBJ)
American Airlines
Flight 1791 (on Boeing 757)
Total Travel Time: 9 hrs
Tue, Feb 15, 2011 Montego Bay (MBJ) to Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR)
Depart: 04:10pm
Arrive: 06:00pm
Montego Bay, Jamaica (MBJ) to
Miami, FL (MIA)
American Airlines
Flight 1860 (on Boeing 757)
1 Stop – change planes in Miami, FL (MIA)
Connection Time: 3 hrs 5 mins
Depart: 09:05pm
Arrive: 11:59pm
Miami, FL (MIA) to
Newark, NJ (EWR)
American Airlines
Flight 1382 (on Boeing 757)
Total Travel Time: 7 hrs 49 mins
Hotel: 1 Room, 5 Nights
Room 1: Standard Single Garden View All Inclusive Single Adult (1 Adult)
Riu Negril Hotel All-Inclusive
West Jamaica: Negril Beach
NORMAN MANLEY BOULEVARD
Negril, 9999 JM
Check in: Thu, Feb 10, 2011
Check out: Tue, Feb 15, 2011
(All prices are in US dollars.)
Flight + Hotel: $1,182.50
Tax Recovery Charge & Service Fees: $113.72
Total payment due: $1,296.22
I've done this trip twice and I'll do it again next year. It's tough enough splitting up and getting divorced without throwing in the mix the addiction crap. I don't know how most folks do it with out a quickie to Jamaica to decompress. There really is something about that Island, just like the TV commercials..
"Lets' get together and you'll feel all right"
For people into diving there's a very affordable on site dive operator at the resort and they treat you right. Scuba Carribe, tell them Scott sent you
Thu, Feb 10, 2011 Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) to Montego Bay (MBJ)
Depart: 06:00am
Arrive: 09:05am
Newark, NJ (EWR) to
Miami, FL (MIA)
American Airlines
Flight 1921 (on Boeing 757)
1 Stop – change planes in Miami, FL (MIA)
Connection Time: 4 hrs 20 mins
Depart: 01:25pm
Arrive: 03:00pm
Miami, FL (MIA) to
Montego Bay, Jamaica (MBJ)
American Airlines
Flight 1791 (on Boeing 757)
Total Travel Time: 9 hrs
Tue, Feb 15, 2011 Montego Bay (MBJ) to Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR)
Depart: 04:10pm
Arrive: 06:00pm
Montego Bay, Jamaica (MBJ) to
Miami, FL (MIA)
American Airlines
Flight 1860 (on Boeing 757)
1 Stop – change planes in Miami, FL (MIA)
Connection Time: 3 hrs 5 mins
Depart: 09:05pm
Arrive: 11:59pm
Miami, FL (MIA) to
Newark, NJ (EWR)
American Airlines
Flight 1382 (on Boeing 757)
Total Travel Time: 7 hrs 49 mins
Hotel: 1 Room, 5 Nights
Room 1: Standard Single Garden View All Inclusive Single Adult (1 Adult)
Riu Negril Hotel All-Inclusive
West Jamaica: Negril Beach
NORMAN MANLEY BOULEVARD
Negril, 9999 JM
Check in: Thu, Feb 10, 2011
Check out: Tue, Feb 15, 2011
(All prices are in US dollars.)
Flight + Hotel: $1,182.50
Tax Recovery Charge & Service Fees: $113.72
Total payment due: $1,296.22
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Jazzman I dont know what to say. Thank you for starters. I may have to go alone. Most of my friends are either broke or married and broke. I am starting a new job Monday so I guess Feb sounds doable. lol.
Maybe I do need a break.
I am actually feeling less broken today. I talked to a smart person here on SR and it helped to get it out and have someone understand. Thank you, you know who you are
I got burned by two guys in a row. It hurt and made me doubt myself. And I handled how I usually do, I blamed myself and my brokeness on this. Even though he had the red flags and I walked away and did the right thing. That inner child was beating the cr*p out of me emotionally.
If I wasnt on a diet and doing so well I would buy a whole red velvet cake and drown my sorrows. Dieting sucks.
Jamaica sounds good though.
Hugs,
Lulu
Maybe I do need a break.
I am actually feeling less broken today. I talked to a smart person here on SR and it helped to get it out and have someone understand. Thank you, you know who you are
I got burned by two guys in a row. It hurt and made me doubt myself. And I handled how I usually do, I blamed myself and my brokeness on this. Even though he had the red flags and I walked away and did the right thing. That inner child was beating the cr*p out of me emotionally.
If I wasnt on a diet and doing so well I would buy a whole red velvet cake and drown my sorrows. Dieting sucks.
Jamaica sounds good though.
Hugs,
Lulu
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I haven't done Jamaica but I think Jazzman is onto something!
btw, simply snorkeling was out of this world!
I went to other islands...they are all great aren't they???????
a cruise may be cheaper than the flight, if you get a last minute deal!
always worth it (as long as I don't go with my drinking relatives! LOL)
btw, simply snorkeling was out of this world!
I went to other islands...they are all great aren't they???????
a cruise may be cheaper than the flight, if you get a last minute deal!
always worth it (as long as I don't go with my drinking relatives! LOL)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: seeking sanity
Posts: 645
lulu, I do understand exactly what you are talking about. I WAS broken this time last year. I had simply lost myself little by little while married to my XAH. I can say that I'm 80% back to normal and it is feelilng wonderful. At first it was strange...I got little glimpses of "me" kind of like a quick flash. AlAnon helped me tremendously as well as this forum and particularly someone on this forum who took the time to pm me and tell me about her journey. I listened to people who had been through a lot more than I had for a lot longer and yet seemed to be at a good place now and learned from them. Little by little I started doing things with friends. I got back in church and started walking most every day. Sometimes now I hear myself laughing one of those deep belly laughs and I think, "Hey, this is cool. This is me again." But it took time and I'm not completely there yet. But I've seen your post come up several times and started to respond and didn't really know what to say so I just wanted to give my thoughts. For me it didn't happen overnight.
And Jazzman's idea is fantastic. I want to go myself! I went to FL for Thanksgiving to visit family and took a day trip to a place called Ft. Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas 70 miles west of Key West. I snorkled and I think it was the most peaceful thing that I have done in years. The minute that I put my mask under the water it was instant meditation. All I could hear was my own breath and I was looking at fish and coral and it was SO PEACEFUL. All of my troubles stayed above the surface. I need more of that and want to do it again!
And Jazzman's idea is fantastic. I want to go myself! I went to FL for Thanksgiving to visit family and took a day trip to a place called Ft. Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas 70 miles west of Key West. I snorkled and I think it was the most peaceful thing that I have done in years. The minute that I put my mask under the water it was instant meditation. All I could hear was my own breath and I was looking at fish and coral and it was SO PEACEFUL. All of my troubles stayed above the surface. I need more of that and want to do it again!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Okay, I might not make it to Jamaica, but I could invite myself to Live's place in Tennessee. I loved it there!
Lets cook a pig! Well, i will supervise. LOL
Do you have any neighbors with chickens, ducks, goats, geese, horses?
I love farm animals.
sigh.....
My dream for my old old age.
Lets cook a pig! Well, i will supervise. LOL
Do you have any neighbors with chickens, ducks, goats, geese, horses?
I love farm animals.
sigh.....
My dream for my old old age.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by wicked
Okay, I might not make it to Jamaica, but I could invite myself to Live's place in Tennessee. I loved it there!
Lets cook a pig! Well, i will supervise. LOL
Do you have any neighbors with chickens, ducks, goats, geese, horses?
I love farm animals.
sigh.....
My dream for my old old age.
Lets cook a pig! Well, i will supervise. LOL
Do you have any neighbors with chickens, ducks, goats, geese, horses?
I love farm animals.
sigh.....
My dream for my old old age.
Tenessee sounds great too. Anywhere but here!
Thank you again for everything wicked. I think I may be on a good path again. The goal is to wake up early enough on saturday for my alanon meeting. I miss my homegroup.
Hugs
Lulu
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
