April999

Hi, I quit drinking almost 6 months ago. I seem to have a re-occurring problem, that being that when ever I have cash on me, I get hyper and have to engage in gambling or unnecessary shopping. I've never been great with money, but its almost as if Im punishing myself and cant stop. It was really hard to quit drinking, but I feel like Im still sabotaging myself. For some reason I can't seem to even force myself to go to AA meetings or set up counseling. I have poor impulse control and a total lack of self-discipline. I feel like I start things and don't finish them, or I give priority to things that shouldn't even be on my list of things to do. I feel like Im operating at full capacity, and getting nowhere. Any advice? PS Sorry for such a negative sounding post.

SwanSong

You won't like what I have to say I'm guessing since you claim you can't even force yourself to an AA meeting, but there is help for the other problems you've described:

Spenders Anonymous - Main Page
Procrastinators Anonymous | Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

Along with a therapist/counselor of some sort. But in the end, if you don't *want* things for 'yourself' - same as quitting drinking- it's not going to happen no matter what others say/suggest (in my opinion).

My last drinking spree was occurring while a friend of mine was putting together one year of sobriety w/o using more than ten AA meetings and not really getting into AA etc. so I kept 'sabotaging' myself (cuz I knew I needed help) until I thoroughly found my 'bottom' and deperately crawled back into the rooms of AA....now I'm like, wow - gee shucks, I was avoiding support, laughter, strength, wisdom, and experience because of what again? Oh, yeah, my super-sized ego....

That was my personal experience. Also, even though there are those other 2 12 step programs I found listed above, my experience has shown that by working the steps of AA, attending face-to-face meetings "listening" and "talking" to others, and working with my sponsor a _lot_ of these issues outside of drinking are slowly starting to find themselves handled either 'finally' or 'properly' or 'in a new way' - I've said before, in my opinion AA doesn't teach us how to stop drinking necessarily but rather how to live sober. Learning how to live sober may include dealing with some/all of those 'issues' you've listed. If I found myself saying I was sabotaging myself in various areas, I'd seek help ASAP because that to me would be a sign that my cunning disease called alcoholism was working it's mischief in other areas trying to weaken my resolve not to drink! Ya know, plotting a 'sneak attack' - this is a war for our lives!

Good luck to you!

yeahgr8

AA is a design for living, well the 12 steps are, and i was exactly the same as you...it took me to go out drinking again after 6 months dry, a 4 weeks stint in rehab, another trip out and then finally asked for help and got it...gambling, shopping etc are all substitutes for the "lifestyle" of being an active alcoholic...life is boring without the chaos from drinking and some of us find other ways to create our own chaos without the booze...working the 12 steps of AA with a sponsor and really recovering has sorted everything out...it's amazing!