SuzyQ979

I failed last night...couldn't even get past day 3. I just rolled into work 2 hours late hung over and wanting to puke everywhere. I started the evening off good by going to the gym and then chatting on the phone and next thing I know I'm at the store buying booze, getting wasted and staying up way to late to even try to get to work on time. I had another "doctors appointment" this morning. I'm sick of being hungover all the time and lying to everyone about what I'm doing and making embarressing phone calls that I don't remember the next day and fighting with my fiance about issues I don't remember the next day. I am fed up with it and myself. Why can't I just STOP. I am so annoyed with myself. I've racked up my credit cards on this ridiculous addiction. No, I haven't been to a meeting and I know I need to go and I will. I just can't believe I couldn't make it an f*ing week . I was full of motivation and that obviously did nothing for me. ugh. But, today is a new day and as crappy as I feel I will keep trying...

northland

Don't worry, you're not alone.

smacked

Took me a long time to really (really) want to be sober more than I ever wanted to be drunk again. I don't know where that line is, or how you get there with as little consequences as possible, but I hope you do soon.. I know exactly how you feel.

lkc2010

We're in the same boat. I generally cannot get past 2 weeks and I drink. And not just 'a drink' a big binge. I binge to black out and I send texts and phone calls I dont remember. Its just awesome isn't it? So embarrassing. I've been pretty unhinged lately and maniacal.

I know we can do this, we have to, but its very hard. I wanna like myself again. Its been a while.

I didn't go in to work today. I'm still in bed w/ a nasty hang over and a head full of guilt. The alcohol is affecting my panic/anxiety too which makes the hang over all the better!

LaFemme

For a long time I couldn't make it past day 3...I made it to day 5 twice and day 6 once...just didn't seem possible. Then everything seemed to finally click (almost 5 months ago). What worked for me is that all that time I was trying and failing I kept educating myself about the disease and reading self-help books and working on myself. I also prayed a lot.

I thought I was one of those people who could not get sober...I was wrong...you can do this!

Hugs,

LaFemme!

SSIL75

I can relate, too I also had to get to the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk. How awful being out of control drunk and disgustingly hungover half the time was not enough. I had to start to see hope in sobriety. That sober life would be fulfilling and fun was news to me. I never believed it until I began to experience it.

Tendencies

Hey,

I had a major crush yesterday as well. I think you can stop it because you want to stop it, that is obvious.

I've found that the irresistible urge to go to the liquor store can be beat if I can hold on for even ten or fifteen minutes. It might be longer for others. But If I move on from my thinking and then do something that gets my mind out of those thoughts I'm ok. My thing is video games. For you it could be reading I don't know.

These days if I want to stop drinking I look at my credit card balances. I have racked up my cards and it's all booze. That might stop you in your tracks.


It does for me. Good luck. It does get better-I'm on day 15.

julez

It will take something more powerful than you, and your will power alone. I spent way too many days hung over as well, and I wasted a lot of time when I could've been doing things I love. I'm so over it.
The only thing that saved me is going to meetings...

LifeIsCake

Hi SuzyQ. I can't even count how many 3 day stints I've had. Since I started drinking 4 years ago I've not had very many lengthy periods of sobriety. I am at 33 days now and haven't really wanted to drink. I'm hoping this is the time I've finally gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also look at my sobriety as something I'm not just doing for myself but for my son and family as well. They have been nothing but supportive of me through my drinking and I feel that I owe this to them as well.

Hang in there and good luck with it. Just remember that there are lots others out there doing it with you.

sara515

SuzyQ,
You are right...Today is a new day. Don't beat yourself up, just keep trying.

michelle01

When we quit, we soon find that it's not as simple as just putting the drink down, it takes far more than that (as I learned through my own experience the hard way, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...) That's the nature of this disease. Help and support was vital for me, this is a very difficult illness to battle on your own and often it requires deep treatment.

Dee74

Hi Suzy

Many many of us have found out just how hard it is to change our lives.

Think about all the things you can add to whatever you've been doing, like the meetings you mentioned you haven't yet got to, posting more here, whatever else you think might be useful...

This is a hard job - get all the support you can, and don't fight with one hand tied behind your back - it needs us to give our all to get sober and to stay there I think.

D

Flguy

It's only day two for me, and when I stopped to buy a pack of smokes I walked into the store and started heading straight for the beer cooler. Luckily I realized what I was doing and stopped, but I am so used to heading for the beer every day that I started doing so without even thinking about it. Instead of telling yourself, "just this one time" or "it's been a while so I deserve a little something", tell yourself you are proud if yourself for your change and think of the years you are adding back to your life.

Don't sweat slipping up, when we fall we get back up again!

least

I used to have the same problem, couldn't stay sober for too long. I've been trying for three years to get and stay sober and tomorrow I'll have one year... so you see I didn't 'get it' right away. Don't give up. Keep trying. Try something different this time, whether it's more meetings or counseling or whatever... Just don't give up on yourself. I was a chronic relapser, so if I can make it, you can too.

HDrosebud

I failed after five days, but I set myself up for failure.. it was a bad day from 11 in the morning and I knew I needed that drink, it wasn't I need the drink I wanted that drink. But just as I expected I couldn't just have one. I had the whole da*n bottle of wine. Yup feel like crap this morning.. Looking forward to trying again.. I want to make it to day 30, then going from there.

stephnc

Hang in there Suzy - and everyone else who's trying to get beyond those first few days or weeks. Take care of yourselves. Drink plenty of water, get some exercise, have some chocolate or ice cream on hand for when cravings hit, and KEEP COMING BACK HERE!! We're here for you.

Stephanie

DayTrader

All too familiar Suzy. Like you said, I'd just "find myself" buying booze and getting drunk.......again and again. The good news was that those failures proved to me that I was a real alcoholic and would not be able to quit by setting my mind to it. Like Julez said, I needed something more powerful then me and my mind to step in. Found that power in AA by doing what the ppl there before me did.

Recognizing there is a problem is the starting point. Wanting to do something about it is even better. Doing what works is the solution. Maybe/hopefully you can quit on your own. If you can't quit on your own, AA's program WILL work - that's what it's for, ppl who can't control their drinking.

fdsajkll

sooo true about the chocolate. And working out. Helps with the sleeping and frustrations. ALso helps when i get that urge to drink. I look at myself in the mirror and do something positive like -- burning off my butt cellulite instead of adding to it with another beer.

i failed a few days ago after staying sober for 13 days. But now i've decided i don't want to think of it as days being sober.. just days i can live. It made me too anxious thinking "oh its been 2 weeks without booze" because that drove me to drink. The thought of never having booze again makes me want to drink -- so i will just deal with the cravings when they come and not think about tomorrow or how long i want to be sober for just right here and right now i can be sober.

hot chocolate is also good to fight the cravings....

drent

I failed a few times too. Its a learning process. I learned that I cant just have a few and call it a night. I learned I cant just drink one day and be done with it. It took failures to convince me of those truths. If you learn from these events, they are positives.