Does anybody have any tips for talking yourself out of it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 15
Does anybody have any tips for talking yourself out of it?
Ive had an alcohol problem for quite a while now, and as you can see by my join date, Ive been trying to work through this problem for a few years.
I know that alcohol is the main destructive factor in my life. I know that it is the main reason for my anxiety and depression problems. Ive been to therapists and doctors and I now realize why I feel so depressed and anxious the morning after drinking. I know that alcohol is physically killing my body and my mind and its preventing me from reaching my goals.
Even though, I know all these things, I still continue to drink and harm myself. Ive cut back ALOT in the last 6 months but I still have relapses here and there where I drink an entire bottle of vodka at night. Its disgusting.
I can go weeks at a time without drinking and without the urge to drink, but then it seems like a little switch goes off in my head that somehow convinces me that it will be ok this time. And once that switch goes off, theres no stopping me.
Countless times, Ive stopped myself from drinking and in the morning I feel so happy and relieved that I didnt do it. And on the other hand, every morning after a drinking binge, I feel depressed and mad at myself for doing it. Yet I continue to make the wrong decision.
If thats not an addiction, then I dont know what is.
What Im asking for here, is if maybe you guys have any little mental tips or things you tell yourself when you get that urge? I know how much better Ill feel in the morning if I dont, but telling myself that doesnt always work.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
I know that alcohol is the main destructive factor in my life. I know that it is the main reason for my anxiety and depression problems. Ive been to therapists and doctors and I now realize why I feel so depressed and anxious the morning after drinking. I know that alcohol is physically killing my body and my mind and its preventing me from reaching my goals.
Even though, I know all these things, I still continue to drink and harm myself. Ive cut back ALOT in the last 6 months but I still have relapses here and there where I drink an entire bottle of vodka at night. Its disgusting.
I can go weeks at a time without drinking and without the urge to drink, but then it seems like a little switch goes off in my head that somehow convinces me that it will be ok this time. And once that switch goes off, theres no stopping me.
Countless times, Ive stopped myself from drinking and in the morning I feel so happy and relieved that I didnt do it. And on the other hand, every morning after a drinking binge, I feel depressed and mad at myself for doing it. Yet I continue to make the wrong decision.
If thats not an addiction, then I dont know what is.
What Im asking for here, is if maybe you guys have any little mental tips or things you tell yourself when you get that urge? I know how much better Ill feel in the morning if I dont, but telling myself that doesnt always work.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
What helped me a lot was asking myself two questions: one; will drinking improve this situation? And two; do I really want to feel like sh!t tomorrow? I didn't have to ask the second question very often...
It also helps some people to 'rat themselves out' by talking about their cravings to someone else, either here or in person, or a friend from AA or another recovery group/program.
It also helps some people to 'rat themselves out' by talking about their cravings to someone else, either here or in person, or a friend from AA or another recovery group/program.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
If you're a real alcoholic (aka chronic alcoholic.....like I am) NO mental tips will keep you away from that first drink - which then leads (more often than not) to your next drunk.
There IS a solution though, and it's guaranteed.....a spiritual solution. For a lot of us in AA, it was the last house on the block but it works every time.
There IS a solution though, and it's guaranteed.....a spiritual solution. For a lot of us in AA, it was the last house on the block but it works every time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi emex4
In the early days I found it useful to play the tape through, as they say - push past all the fun things your head tells you drinking entails and think about the bad consequences your drinking has bought you - play that tape right through to the end.
Better than any tips tho is support, IMO.
Whether it's posting here on a regular basis, getting some professional help from a Dr or a counsellor or looking into a recovery programme like AA or SMART, I think most of us needed to make changes in our lives in order to stay quit.
D
In the early days I found it useful to play the tape through, as they say - push past all the fun things your head tells you drinking entails and think about the bad consequences your drinking has bought you - play that tape right through to the end.
Better than any tips tho is support, IMO.
Whether it's posting here on a regular basis, getting some professional help from a Dr or a counsellor or looking into a recovery programme like AA or SMART, I think most of us needed to make changes in our lives in order to stay quit.
D
Hooligan
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Snowy North-Eastern U.S.
Posts: 321
i usually think about how bad i want that drink, then i think about how bad i do not want to feel like i got hit by a train the next day, how bad i dont want to look through my cell phone with all the messages i had been sending people, etc
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by DayTrader 
If you're a real alcoholic (aka chronic alcoholic.....like I am) NO mental tips will keep you away from that first drink - which then leads (more often than not) to your next drunk.
There IS a solution though, and it's guaranteed.....a spiritual solution. For a lot of us in AA, it was the last house on the block but it works every time.
There IS a solution though, and it's guaranteed.....a spiritual solution. For a lot of us in AA, it was the last house on the block but it works every time.
LOL - that rings so true.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Emex, I don't know if this will work for you. The last time I slipped 6 weeks ago, I realized that by allowing the conversation at all in my head led to drinking! So now, I just say NO!
That is just too ridiculous to talk about!
Why even talk about it? Not an option!
Try AA or SMART or something. I have been going to AA and the company alone is helpful.
It gives you an alternative to drinking company. Been there a gazillion times and had to get real with myself. I also realized that I was not exactly "whiteknuckling it" or in the DTs etc before I went and bought the booze. It is unpleasant (understatement of the century) but seriously, more unpleasant than waking up in the horrors, with a hangover trying to pull your sh/t together so you can go to work etc. Or more unpleasant than the isolation, guilt, procrastination??????
Good luck and for what it's worth, the feeling at the other side is simply awesome!!!!!!:day6
That is just too ridiculous to talk about!
Why even talk about it? Not an option!
Try AA or SMART or something. I have been going to AA and the company alone is helpful.
It gives you an alternative to drinking company. Been there a gazillion times and had to get real with myself. I also realized that I was not exactly "whiteknuckling it" or in the DTs etc before I went and bought the booze. It is unpleasant (understatement of the century) but seriously, more unpleasant than waking up in the horrors, with a hangover trying to pull your sh/t together so you can go to work etc. Or more unpleasant than the isolation, guilt, procrastination??????
Good luck and for what it's worth, the feeling at the other side is simply awesome!!!!!!:day6
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
I don't bother trying to talk myself out of it anymore. I go to a meeting and/ or call my sponsor or someone else in the program and let her do the thinking for me.
If I have to start rationalizing ANYTHING then I know I am in big trouble and need some help. That's just my own rule of thumb but it works for me.
If I have to start rationalizing ANYTHING then I know I am in big trouble and need some help. That's just my own rule of thumb but it works for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I can tell you what worked for me.
I became so frustrated with myself and finally figured out that I was sabotaging myself. I would do well, feel good and get things accomplished and then 'bam' I would have to have a drink. I eventually realized that I felt deeply uncomfortable after a period of 'success'. It was as if I didn't know where it was going or how to deal with it. And, I didn't. So, I had to believe that I deserved a good life. I had to sit with myself and allow the feeling that I could have a good life surround me.
You can do this!
I became so frustrated with myself and finally figured out that I was sabotaging myself. I would do well, feel good and get things accomplished and then 'bam' I would have to have a drink. I eventually realized that I felt deeply uncomfortable after a period of 'success'. It was as if I didn't know where it was going or how to deal with it. And, I didn't. So, I had to believe that I deserved a good life. I had to sit with myself and allow the feeling that I could have a good life surround me.
You can do this!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
One thing that I took out of my therapy that applied very well to my recovery is having an honest interpretation of a drinking urge. Drinking urges, however potent they may be, are still just urges. An urge is not a prophecy or a threat, it doesn't mean you're going to die or go crazy if you don't drink. And so I let them happen. I don't dwell on them, I just acknowledge them ("my mind says it wants a drink and I'm feeling anxiety in my body") then I go back to whatever it was I was doing at the time.
I think too early on in my recovery I believed if I had a drinking urge that meant I had to kill it or rationalize it. But that just got me dwelling on it, and like it or not we really can't control our thoughts as we'd like. Why else would bad songs get stuck in our heads?
Not fighting them, not "becoming the urge" so to speak, just keeping a distance from them.
I think too early on in my recovery I believed if I had a drinking urge that meant I had to kill it or rationalize it. But that just got me dwelling on it, and like it or not we really can't control our thoughts as we'd like. Why else would bad songs get stuck in our heads?
Not fighting them, not "becoming the urge" so to speak, just keeping a distance from them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Alcohol tastes like crap and wrecks your life. That's how I remind myself not to drink:-) I do not allow myself to romanticize drinking in any way shape or form. When I think of a good memory that has alcohol in it I remind myself that good memory would have been even better without the booze.
Hope that helps!
Hope that helps!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think Isaiah's point is a really good one: expect to have urges and accept them. Know that they're going to come up and figure out ahead of time what to do about them. Often, just having something to eat or turning your attention to something else has helped me. Other times, I had to wait it out. I come here a lot and read everyone's posts and it reminds me that there's nothing good waiting for me out there if I continue to drink.
The other thing that comes to mind is that each time I say "no" to alcohol, I get a little stronger. The obsession really does go away, but it takes time (just like quitting smoking). If we put the work in up front, we get the long-term reward. If we opt for the easy out, we pay a huge price sooner or later.
Hang in there!!
The other thing that comes to mind is that each time I say "no" to alcohol, I get a little stronger. The obsession really does go away, but it takes time (just like quitting smoking). If we put the work in up front, we get the long-term reward. If we opt for the easy out, we pay a huge price sooner or later.
Hang in there!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Originally Posted by Isaiah
One thing that I took out of my therapy that applied very well to my recovery is having an honest interpretation of a drinking urge. Drinking urges, however potent they may be, are still just urges. An urge is not a prophecy or a threat, it doesn't mean you're going to die or go crazy if you don't drink. And so I let them happen. I don't dwell on them, I just acknowledge them ("my mind says it wants a drink and I'm feeling anxiety in my body") then I go back to whatever it was I was doing at the time.
I think too early on in my recovery I believed if I had a drinking urge that meant I had to kill it or rationalize it. But that just got me dwelling on it, and like it or not we really can't control our thoughts as we'd like. Why else would bad songs get stuck in our heads?
Not fighting them, not "becoming the urge" so to speak, just keeping a distance from them.
I think too early on in my recovery I believed if I had a drinking urge that meant I had to kill it or rationalize it. But that just got me dwelling on it, and like it or not we really can't control our thoughts as we'd like. Why else would bad songs get stuck in our heads?
Not fighting them, not "becoming the urge" so to speak, just keeping a distance from them.
That's what I've been trying to do in my new found not drinking days, and it seems to be working.
2nd chance at a 1st cl*** life
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Jose, Ca
Posts: 492
Daytrader said it all. I got into AA and I no longer crave alcohol. In working the steps that obsession to drink will eventually be lifted from you. Some people might say AA doesn't work. Well its true for those who don't work the program. You have to get a sponsor, work the steps and work with others. Like Daytrader said its guaranteed. Even for someone that thought they were a hopeless drunk, like me. AA works it really does, and if you really want to quit drinking try it. On my own I was only able to muster 4 months at the most before I found myself drinking again. With AA, I'm proud to say I just celebrated 11 months of sobriety. I know for a fact that I couldn't have done this on my own. I needed help, which I got from my higher power who choose to call God and the program of alcoholics anonymous. If you want what we have found, a life of sobriety, I suggest to attend a few meetings. You are not obligated to stay if you don't like it and you have nothing to lose in doing so. But you do have everything to gain, your life.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Nvrbeentospain, I picked up that trick from DBT therapy, which is heavily based off CBT. I've never done CBT but I believe the promote that trick as well.
And while I appreciate the plugs for AA, I think it's a little slippery to say that AA is a perfect guarantee so long as you work it. Any recovery program or anything at all can make equal claim to that. Any recovery plan should be based on merits and applicability, not on a very tenuous claim.
And while I appreciate the plugs for AA, I think it's a little slippery to say that AA is a perfect guarantee so long as you work it. Any recovery program or anything at all can make equal claim to that. Any recovery plan should be based on merits and applicability, not on a very tenuous claim.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
The first time i tried to talk myself out of it must have been late teens...after 20 years of trying this method and the many, many others i realised this might not be working...i spent a good few years in this pattern...it was like a pressure valve which would reset itself after the binge and off i would go for another mmonth or two...it was a horrendous way to live, i knew i waa addicted and an alcoholic, because i had read about it and knew that an alcoholic doesnt have to drink everyday, but didn't really understand what that meant...my focus was on the drink...if i didn't drink again then everything would be ok but looking back that clearly wasn't the case or i wouldn't have drunk again after a few months each time!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 53
I prepared myself by making sure I understood exactly how bad things were for me while i was using and about how much I struggled with addiction. That gave me something to think about whenever I get a craving or a thought to use. It has prevented me from minimalzing the extent of my addiction or thinking that I might somehow have miraculously become capable of having just one drink.
Then I just tell myself to wait out the cravings. It's only been two months sober for me... But it's worked every time.
Then I just tell myself to wait out the cravings. It's only been two months sober for me... But it's worked every time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Great White North
Posts: 212
Originally Posted by Isaiah
Drinking urges, however potent they may be, are still just urges. An urge is not a prophecy or a threat, it doesn't mean you're going to die or go crazy if you don't drink. And so I let them happen. I don't dwell on them, I just acknowledge them ("my mind says it wants a drink and I'm feeling anxiety in my body") then I go back to whatever it was I was doing at the time.
.
.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
hi emex --
It helped me tremendously to hold myself accountable, not only to people here and in real life, but also to myself. Too many times I had rationalized away my reasoning -- "oh, I didn't REALLY want to stop drinking, I was just hungover/in a bad place/x y or z was an exception/I didn't feel THAT bad ." That was the type of stuff that really messed me up and led me back to, like you, waking up realizing I'd finished a bottle of vodka.
Keeping a journal and posting here were particularly important because I had a written record of how I felt and why I wanted to quit, and that written record is a lot harder to rationalize away. I also kept a short, bullet list of all the things I stood to gain and all the triggers I had, so that I could look at it as a touchstone of sorts.
It helped me tremendously to hold myself accountable, not only to people here and in real life, but also to myself. Too many times I had rationalized away my reasoning -- "oh, I didn't REALLY want to stop drinking, I was just hungover/in a bad place/x y or z was an exception/I didn't feel THAT bad ." That was the type of stuff that really messed me up and led me back to, like you, waking up realizing I'd finished a bottle of vodka.
Keeping a journal and posting here were particularly important because I had a written record of how I felt and why I wanted to quit, and that written record is a lot harder to rationalize away. I also kept a short, bullet list of all the things I stood to gain and all the triggers I had, so that I could look at it as a touchstone of sorts.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 107
I tried to lessen their impact. They are going to happen no matter what so best to try as many different approaches as you can and see what works for you. That's why in my opinion multiple failures early in recovery isn't necessarily a bad thing because you are building a kind of tool chest.
A number of the ones listed here worked for me and here is another one related to lessoning a cravings impact. (I don't think anyones mentioned it in this thread but it's a common one)
Eat something
I ran into problems with low blood sugar. I suspect it was caused by my body being really good at digesting lots of alcohol really fast. Anyway, it would make me crazy.
A number of the ones listed here worked for me and here is another one related to lessoning a cravings impact. (I don't think anyones mentioned it in this thread but it's a common one)
Eat something
I ran into problems with low blood sugar. I suspect it was caused by my body being really good at digesting lots of alcohol really fast. Anyway, it would make me crazy.
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