Muunray

Am here to find support and interaction with others who at least have some idea of what I am attempting to accomplish. I have been drinking since I was 18 and I'm now 45 years old. Drinking was excessive- a 5th a night not unusual. Multiple times tried to quit drinking- maximum time I've been able to is 4 days then I have that urge again.

Finally went to a doctor this week and admitted I was an alcoholic and needed help. She is so open and eager to help me. She even called me the next day to follow up with the information/directions she gave me. Even with that call I had to admit to her I had lied to her at the previous day's appt. I was too embarrassed to admit I was just starting to quit - I initially told her it had been 6 weeks since I drank.

I'm really not interested in a group face to face setting yet, but have reviewed this site briefly before and I think there is a lot of good information and support here.

If you want an official report- it's only day 2 today. So I know I have the infamous 4 day hump coming up.

I have 5 wonderful kids, a loving boyfriend, want to get back into nursing again (I'm an R.N.) and want to be able to enjoy life again- not just tolerate trying to make it through the day until I can drink again.

Anyways hi to all !

Dee74

Hi Muunray

You'll definitely find a lot of people here who know exactly what you're going through...especially that 3/4 day cycle...read as post as much as you want to, or need to

It's good to have you with us - congratulations on day 2
D

coop1

Welcome Muun, if you just change the name this was my story almost to a T about 22 days ago. I don't have any earth shattering advice...but I will say this....this site has been a tremendous help in getting to 22 days. I too had never been past 4 days in 20+ years, but this time it stuck. It sounds like you are serious and I think that is half the battle. Thanks for your post, good luck on your journey and don't be afraid to share.

Ghostlight

Congratulations on your decision. You may be saving your own life.

Yes, that 4 day hump was rough for me, also. I'm wishing you the best on your journey to recovery.

GabC

I have just joined myself. I just wish you the best of luck - though I'm convinced it's more of a battle of willpower. I hope to God you face your demons and conquer them.

bellakeller

I've met a TON of RNs in the program of AA. Apparently nursing is the most high-risk occupation for alcoholism. At least that's what I've heard.

I hope you find some recovery here and/or elsewhere. Maybe if you go to meetings you can find other nurses like yourself.

Best of luck in your journey.

gr8ful42day

You are in the right place. I know I can totally relate to your 'share'. I started at 15...I am 40...now 61 days sober...you CAN do this. :ghug3

Since you don't like the face to face meetings, I will take this chance to invite you to our online chat meeting, tonight, every Friday night at 9PM. est. I think you will like it. Hope to see you there!

least

Welcome to our recovery family. You'll find a lot of support and good information here. We understand what you're going thru and will support you any way we can. I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. I've got nearly a year sober now and can't possibly find the words to say how my life has improved. Still have the same problems, but now I just handle them better and by not drinking I'm not making any new problems.

Anna

Hi and Welcome!

I got stuck at the 3-day hump for the longest time. It was so frustrating. I finally realized that I needed to give myself persmission to live a good life. I had been sabotaging myself because I was afraid to succeed.

I hope you continue to be in contact with your dr. She sounds like a gem. And, please keep reading and posting here.

Opivotal

Welcome Muunray! I commend you on being truthful with your Doctor. Took a lot of courage. Try not to keep that day 4 in your head. The mind is very tricky and will be waiting for you to falter. Don't listen! If your prepared for it, you can fight it. Maybe try something different that day. Keep busier than normal. It will pass. Just don't give in. Call a friend or come here. Anything but drink. My best wishes to you.

Hevyn

Hi Muunray - wonderful to have you with us. It sounds like you're more than ready to make this big change. A lifetime of drinking is what I did also - but I'm much older. I wish I'd stopped in my 40's - there would've been so much less chaos. As you already know, it only gets worse - in the end, I was drinking 'round the clock & couldn't bear to have it out of my system. I kept going long after it stopped being fun or relaxing.

Your real life is about to commence, one not spent being numb or out-of-it. You have so much to look forward to with your children and boyfriend - and getting back into nursing. Congratulations, be proud of yourself.

phytoman

Welcome Muunray! There's lots of good advice and support around here. It's been a help to me here in my first few weeks.

LaFemme

Welcome! I could never make it past day 5. I found SR on my first ever day 7....that was about 5 months ago SR is my support group...and I am working hard on myself...I had no idea life could be so amazing. Keep us posted!

6yearsold

I am ending my day 3 and tomorrow is my day 4 and I have heard the stories. I am going to my first meeting tomorrow(know you aren't interested in face-to-face, I wasn't, either) I am hoping that will help my hump. Good Lord, I hope it does. Welcome to the board. Stick around and stay strong. Alot of these peoplegive great advice!

MsCooterBrown

That first 3 to 4 days is a b!tch. The scenario seems to be you decide to quit. Gung Ho. Sick of it...Avid to end the madness. Day 1-piece of cake. Usually hangover day. Day 2-still have a memory of hangover day 1. Day 3-start feeling good again. Heck it won't hurt to have just 1. Then..the relapse cycle begins.
I like to focus on the WORST hangover and I have had a few. I also focus on internal damage ..drinking does wreak havoc on many organs. I have said it before..will say it now. I finally scared myself sober.
Now I wake up feeling good. I am no longer puffy. My face isn't all red and splotchy. I am calm and don't shake. No more dry heaving. My tongue is pink. I am eating and losing weight. I remember. That is the best..I remember and retain everything. No more black outs. I could go on and on. Hang in there ...I think you will love it. Just have to get past the 1st couple of weeks. Hope to hear more from you!

6yearsold

Thanks, Ms Cooter! This isn't even my post but what you said was really helpful for me!

Muunray

On day 5 - told my boyfriend it feels like it's been forever. He said it feels like it's been forever since you had a drink? I said no, it feels like I've been sober forever it feels so right.
Yesterday simply watching the fall leaves tumble down the road in the sunshine seemed so beautiful.
Anyways, very optimistic here.

LaFemme

Way to go muunray! Ford you are feeling so good and optimistic. I sometimes feel like it was another me who drank...it seems so foreign now:-)