mamaangelique

I won't go into all the details, but it has to do with our son. I'm so angry and hurt the way my AH is handling this whole relapse/separation regarding his son. I don't like feeling this way bc I know there is nothing I can do to make him be around more or care more. So how do I work through this? Every time my son cries for him I am filled with hurt, disappointment and anger.

Freedom1990

I understand the hurt, disappointment, and anger.

My suggestion is to journal, or write a letter, just for yourself, that lets you put it all down exactly as you feel, no holds barred.

I've written letters on more than one occasion, and I've got a new one to write too once this semester is done.

I'm sorry for your pain, and your son's pain.

Kindeyes

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. When there are children in the picture, it seems to amplify our mama bear instincts. And it's very difficult to be supportive of the children when we are damaged by the situations occurring around us.

I hope that you are taking special care of yourself right now. In the midst of crisis and chaos, we are often so busy taking care of the children that we forget that we need extra care as well.

gentle hugs

mamaangelique

Thanks guys. It's so hard watching my baby go over to a picture of him and his daddy on the wall and reach up to and cry "my daddy my daddy" It makes me want to cause physcial damage. It hurts so bad. Then I find myself lashing out at my freakin 2 year old because his daddy isn't there. I know better than that. It all just adds to the pain, stress, anger and self blame.

Chino

Do you allow yourself to cry?

mamaangelique

I do after my son's in bed. It usually gives me a headache and makes my anger boil to the surface. Hell sometimes I wish I could do drugs and escape this disaster. Must be nice for AH to move out, use his drugs and have no responsibilities and be able to numb out his emotions.
Sometimes being the bigger person sucks.