Making Progress
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Indianapolis,IN
Posts: 2
Making Progress
My brother came back into my life this summer after a 4 year estrangement that started when my dad and mom died..He brought his family back with him.
One part of me is so happy to have this relationship again ...the other part of me says..whoa ;be careful! Dealing with him can be like dealing with quicksand.
My brother refuses to deal with his ACOA issues; He is still in denial and he and the family act out a lot when they come around. I don`t engage in the games ;They have changed their plans to stay over and left on several occasions.
He is having a workup now because he has heart trouble symptoms. It`s a crisis !!!!!In crisis mode can be so good about getting in there and worrying and fixing and offering advice unsolicited!I don`t want to go there again.
I am letting go and Letting God!
I intend to maintain my sobiety from codependence with or without him in my life. So here I am back in Alanon!
One part of me is so happy to have this relationship again ...the other part of me says..whoa ;be careful! Dealing with him can be like dealing with quicksand.
My brother refuses to deal with his ACOA issues; He is still in denial and he and the family act out a lot when they come around. I don`t engage in the games ;They have changed their plans to stay over and left on several occasions.
He is having a workup now because he has heart trouble symptoms. It`s a crisis !!!!!In crisis mode can be so good about getting in there and worrying and fixing and offering advice unsolicited!I don`t want to go there again.
I am letting go and Letting God!
I intend to maintain my sobiety from codependence with or without him in my life. So here I am back in Alanon!
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Nomi,
Personally I would chill. You can control your involvement but do you want to lose the brother you are happy to see?
If he refuses to see his issues that is his business...can you handle that?
I am afraid that sometimes we get so caught up in our own recovery that we are unable to see another side. Especially ACOA issues. They are so personal and difficult...you must know this because you sound like you are dealing with your own.
Recovery is about attraction and I try very hard not to put people off because they do not see things the way I see them. For me that is codependency creeping out.
He is having heart problems and you sound like you love him. Keep it simple.
Hugs,
JT
Personally I would chill. You can control your involvement but do you want to lose the brother you are happy to see?
If he refuses to see his issues that is his business...can you handle that?
I am afraid that sometimes we get so caught up in our own recovery that we are unable to see another side. Especially ACOA issues. They are so personal and difficult...you must know this because you sound like you are dealing with your own.
Recovery is about attraction and I try very hard not to put people off because they do not see things the way I see them. For me that is codependency creeping out.
He is having heart problems and you sound like you love him. Keep it simple.
Hugs,
JT
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