JayneCali

Tomorrow marks a week. A week from the horrific seizure my "friend" had on me on thanksgiving. He has been in detox and gets out tomorrow. I have seen him twice and talked to him multiple times a day. I dont think I have ever been so worried about someone. I also think I am still getting over the shock of his addiction.

He seems pretty emotional still, is on suboxen and clonazepam, and seems really committed to recovery. From everything I've read he has such a long road ahead of him. he is crying alot when we talk about "us" and i dont know if its the drugs or actually having feelings again after being so clouded for so long.

He has a med dr appt, 4 hours in an outpatient program and then a psychiatrist appt all tomorrow. seems like a lot for his first day out. I really wish he would have chosen an in patient program, i really terrified about relapse, and will I even know right away if it happens? I was unaware he was taking 10 or more Narco's a day until he almost died on me.

not really looking for anything, just cant sleep because I am so nervous, I want to do the right thing for him and even though he is the one that controls his sobriety, i am just afraid my unfamiliarity with addictions will someone allow me to do or say things I shouldnt. i'm sure there isnt. but any real world advice welcome!
thanks

marley75

I am learning that no matter if my bf uses or not, I can still have my own serenity through the tools I am gaining in alanon. In my experience, when I keep my focus on me and stop trying to keep his side and my side of the streets clean, I feel better. When I stop focusing on him all the time and actually work the steps in alanon, I feel amazing. I have bad days and I slip too. But I am getting sicker, quicker and am able to come back to my recovery more easily. I believe that nothing changes if nothing changes. I take it one minute at a time, I talk to my sponsor and I come on here, my other message board, read books like Courage to Change and The Language of Letting go and I keep my eyes on me and give the rest to my HP. When I hand over everything to hp and allow hp to do the work, things go a lot better. I ask HP to work and speak through me and to help me through tough situations.
I am also learning to say no. I am learning to say what I mean, mean what I say and to not say it mean.
Alanon/Naranon can only help you better yourself. That is what its for, you
Take care of you!

Kindeyes

Jayne
Reading and educating yourself about addiction and codependence is the best suggestion I have for you. I never realized how inappropriately involved I was with my son's addiction/alcoholism until he went into an inpatient program and I participated with their family programs. It was there that I realized that I was the Poster Child of codependency.......an Olympic Gold Medal Champion (I'm not proud of that....it's just the truth).

Arming yourself with information and getting into a program like Alanon or Naranon are great ways to work on staying grounded while he works toward sobriety.

gentle hugs

JayneCali

thanks, i think i will start going to meetings and i bought codependent no more, so i should probably read it.

he had told his cousin where all his pills were so they would be gone when we got to his house. but he ended up having to toss a bunch more. i cant believe how much he had. it still amazes me. I didnt spend much time with him today as he has so much to do, but hopefully he stays commited to the program.

i wrote him a letter with all the things i want to say and really havent been able to. I gave it to him as i left. he called me crying saying he wants to do whatever he can to make me trust him and hopes he hasn't ruined things. i told him i am there, but trust is hard and he really has to just focus on getting happy and staying sober. uggh. this is going to be a long road.

keepinon

Outpatient is tough..they need to be very highly motivated for it to work.As other people have said..learn about addiction..it isn't rational, it's a cunning and baffling disease and if you don't know about it, or tools for your own recovery, it will be very difficult.