My First Post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 40
My First Post
Its like day 1 of sobreity. To be honest with you, I don't know if I can count December 1st, 2010 as my first day of sobreity since I woke up still drunk and went to work.
Drinking is of the devil. I swear- now I understand why prohibition existed but I don't understand why pot is still illegal. Now, I am no longer a drug user. I haven't used drugs in quite some time and don't plan to. Drugs(wether it was smoking pot, snorting a little coke or tripping on mushrooms) were incredibly easy for me to quit. I never have problems 'Just Saying "No!". No, my problem it not with any drug except alcohol. Alcohol has me by my imaginary balls. It owns me. It owns my personality, my body, my relationships, my car, my bank account, my family life, my bedroom... everything. It has ruled my life with an iron fist very fiercely since I was 17. I have drank and drank and drank. I have wasted thousands of dollars, stolen from my mother, broken 13 of my teeth, my nose, and had to have recontrustive surgery on my lips. I have totaled a car, been thrown out of bars, been hit in the face, hit people in the face. I have ruined friendships, relationships, I have ruined jobs, ruined references, lost best friends, lost my families trust, lost car keys, credit cards, wallets, lighters, money and a terrible amount of memory.
My name is Rachel and this is me trying to stay sober... I am an alcoholic.'
I naturally don't know what to do. I have a friend ho has been sober for maybe 6 months and she referred me here and we are going to meeting on Saturday night. I feel relieved to know I am not alone and that I have support from her and others like yourselves. I work in therestaurant business and there are some haters, of course this is not my first time trying to get sober(I would say in my 8 years of heavy drinking- I am 25, I have been sober for 2 and a half weeks straight- thats it). I have tried doing it by myself before but never with a group and I am hoping this will help. My boyfriend has gone to AA before and he said he has been down my path. He drinks but does not have the problem I do. It isn't that I have to drink everyday- it is the fact that when I drink I can not stop. I sleep around, I make bad decisions, I can drink an 18 pack of beer in one night and do a couple shots, also. I am a relatively small girl, also. I don't know how I became this way. How did I let it get this far? Drinking used to be for fun not for therapy. Now, I am nearing the end of my first day and I am scared for the future. What do I do now? I am scared of failure. I am scared of whats going to happen tomorrow when I get off work. I am scared of whats going to happen to my relationship. I realize I have to learn to be intimate without alcohol and that scares me the most. I can't remember the last time I was imtimate and now drunk. I know this is all incredibly personal but someone told me to start a thread for support so here I am. Sorry to talk your ears off- thank you for reading.
Drinking is of the devil. I swear- now I understand why prohibition existed but I don't understand why pot is still illegal. Now, I am no longer a drug user. I haven't used drugs in quite some time and don't plan to. Drugs(wether it was smoking pot, snorting a little coke or tripping on mushrooms) were incredibly easy for me to quit. I never have problems 'Just Saying "No!". No, my problem it not with any drug except alcohol. Alcohol has me by my imaginary balls. It owns me. It owns my personality, my body, my relationships, my car, my bank account, my family life, my bedroom... everything. It has ruled my life with an iron fist very fiercely since I was 17. I have drank and drank and drank. I have wasted thousands of dollars, stolen from my mother, broken 13 of my teeth, my nose, and had to have recontrustive surgery on my lips. I have totaled a car, been thrown out of bars, been hit in the face, hit people in the face. I have ruined friendships, relationships, I have ruined jobs, ruined references, lost best friends, lost my families trust, lost car keys, credit cards, wallets, lighters, money and a terrible amount of memory.
My name is Rachel and this is me trying to stay sober... I am an alcoholic.'
I naturally don't know what to do. I have a friend ho has been sober for maybe 6 months and she referred me here and we are going to meeting on Saturday night. I feel relieved to know I am not alone and that I have support from her and others like yourselves. I work in therestaurant business and there are some haters, of course this is not my first time trying to get sober(I would say in my 8 years of heavy drinking- I am 25, I have been sober for 2 and a half weeks straight- thats it). I have tried doing it by myself before but never with a group and I am hoping this will help. My boyfriend has gone to AA before and he said he has been down my path. He drinks but does not have the problem I do. It isn't that I have to drink everyday- it is the fact that when I drink I can not stop. I sleep around, I make bad decisions, I can drink an 18 pack of beer in one night and do a couple shots, also. I am a relatively small girl, also. I don't know how I became this way. How did I let it get this far? Drinking used to be for fun not for therapy. Now, I am nearing the end of my first day and I am scared for the future. What do I do now? I am scared of failure. I am scared of whats going to happen tomorrow when I get off work. I am scared of whats going to happen to my relationship. I realize I have to learn to be intimate without alcohol and that scares me the most. I can't remember the last time I was imtimate and now drunk. I know this is all incredibly personal but someone told me to start a thread for support so here I am. Sorry to talk your ears off- thank you for reading.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
Welcome to the family!
Early sobriety is hard, no doubt, but the rewards of your effort and sacrifice are many and great.
I had to completely adjust my attitude in order to stay sober. I was a home alone drinker so being home by myself was the biggest challenge... and I lived alone...
I'm glad you're here and joined our recovery family. YOu'll find lots of support here from people who understand.
Early sobriety is hard, no doubt, but the rewards of your effort and sacrifice are many and great. I had to completely adjust my attitude in order to stay sober. I was a home alone drinker so being home by myself was the biggest challenge... and I lived alone... I'm glad you're here and joined our recovery family. YOu'll find lots of support here from people who understand.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
Hi Rachel
Welcome again.
I think we all have to start somewhere you know? I think coming here, getting involved in this community, reading, posting and finding support and encouragement will help. It certainly helped me.
I think finding face to face support will help too.
Try not to worry (I know it's near impossible, but try) all you have to really focus on for now is staying sober, one day at a time, if that's what it takes.
All that other 'what if' stuff can be looked at later - just make the first leap, take the first steps now
If you've been drinking heavily for a long time - even if it's not regularly - you may want to check out things with your Dr first. I think it's always good to get all the support you possibly can.
and...keep coming back here - you're not alone
D
Welcome again.
I think we all have to start somewhere you know? I think coming here, getting involved in this community, reading, posting and finding support and encouragement will help. It certainly helped me.
I think finding face to face support will help too.
Try not to worry (I know it's near impossible, but try) all you have to really focus on for now is staying sober, one day at a time, if that's what it takes.
All that other 'what if' stuff can be looked at later - just make the first leap, take the first steps now
If you've been drinking heavily for a long time - even if it's not regularly - you may want to check out things with your Dr first. I think it's always good to get all the support you possibly can.
and...keep coming back here - you're not alone
D
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome Rachel! Glad you are here. This is very important:
"My name is Rachel and this is me trying to stay sober... I am an alcoholic.'
I naturally don't know what to do."
This is the beginning of recovery. First of all, it was important that I get honest with myself about my alcoholism--no more lying to myself...no more denial. I had to admit that I needed help--I too, was clueless about how to start my recovery journey. SR has helped me alot--plus I go to AA meetings now as well as other recovery fellowships. You are not alone. There is hope! We do recover. Give yourself a break and allow someone the opportunity to show you what worked for them--how they got sober. You are here. That's a start. Hope to hear more from you soon.
"My name is Rachel and this is me trying to stay sober... I am an alcoholic.'
I naturally don't know what to do."
This is the beginning of recovery. First of all, it was important that I get honest with myself about my alcoholism--no more lying to myself...no more denial. I had to admit that I needed help--I too, was clueless about how to start my recovery journey. SR has helped me alot--plus I go to AA meetings now as well as other recovery fellowships. You are not alone. There is hope! We do recover. Give yourself a break and allow someone the opportunity to show you what worked for them--how they got sober. You are here. That's a start. Hope to hear more from you soon.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Rachael - I had a lot of fears when I came here, too. It really helps just to focus on getting through the hour or day in front of you, like Dee said. We're all here for the same reason - our drinking or drugging got out of hand and we found ourselves addicted.
With help, you can do this - and things really will get better as you go along.
With help, you can do this - and things really will get better as you go along.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 39
Welcome to the team Rachel - this is the place to be. Here you'll find friends who understand. No-one can do it alone, so keep on posting and soaking up the support that's offered here. It's great to have you onboard!
Si
Si
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
welcome Rachel!
stick around, you will find much wisdom, support, and understanding here. I certainly have.
the early days are tough. really tough. I know.
I'm only at Day 19.
one thing I learned here is a technique called "play your tape all the way through to the end." Think about what will happen after you take that first drink. play your tape.
this has helped me avoid that first drink for 19 days so far.
also, in the early days, it's helpful to remember: don't drink just for today.
stick around, you will find much wisdom, support, and understanding here. I certainly have.
the early days are tough. really tough. I know.
I'm only at Day 19.
one thing I learned here is a technique called "play your tape all the way through to the end." Think about what will happen after you take that first drink. play your tape.
this has helped me avoid that first drink for 19 days so far.
also, in the early days, it's helpful to remember: don't drink just for today.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Rachel,
Welcome!
Congratulations on your 2 1/2 weeks sober.
And, yes, learning to be intimate, in fact learning to deal with all of life's emotions was very hard. But, it can be done and we are here to offer support.
Welcome!
Congratulations on your 2 1/2 weeks sober.
And, yes, learning to be intimate, in fact learning to deal with all of life's emotions was very hard. But, it can be done and we are here to offer support.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hello Rachel,
Welcome. Glad you're here. This is one of the first places I came too when I realized I just could not go on anymore with alcohol. I'm hoping you'll find it as great as I did. I know everyone here is already glad you got this far.
Sobriety is nothing if not confusing and scary. So I can assure you that you don't have to feel like you're doing something wrong. That fear is going to diminish. A lot of us here have been through it and we never believed that we were the least bit courageous or strong enough, but it happened anyway.
Peace of mind, hope for the future, all those things cannot be given to us, but they come from day after day of focusing on our sobriety in the present. Focusing on where you are now, what first steps you can take, and attempts at self-love are going to make this as easy as it can be. And it will get better.
Welcome. Glad you're here. This is one of the first places I came too when I realized I just could not go on anymore with alcohol. I'm hoping you'll find it as great as I did. I know everyone here is already glad you got this far.
Sobriety is nothing if not confusing and scary. So I can assure you that you don't have to feel like you're doing something wrong. That fear is going to diminish. A lot of us here have been through it and we never believed that we were the least bit courageous or strong enough, but it happened anyway.
Peace of mind, hope for the future, all those things cannot be given to us, but they come from day after day of focusing on our sobriety in the present. Focusing on where you are now, what first steps you can take, and attempts at self-love are going to make this as easy as it can be. And it will get better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
If you don't drink, you have nothing to be scared of compared to what you have been through.
No more surgery.
No more stealing.
No more letting your family down.
No more breaking your nose.
No more wasting thousands of dollars
No more loosing your phone or wallet
No more letting others down.
But more importantly..................
No more letting yourself down.
Just don't pick up that first drink.
Whatever it takes
Meetings.....
Phonecalls.......
Pacing your floor........
Wishing you all the luck in the world
xx
No more surgery.
No more stealing.
No more letting your family down.
No more breaking your nose.
No more wasting thousands of dollars
No more loosing your phone or wallet
No more letting others down.
But more importantly..................
No more letting yourself down.
Just don't pick up that first drink.
Whatever it takes
Meetings.....
Phonecalls.......
Pacing your floor........
Wishing you all the luck in the world
xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 40
Day 2 of my sobreity and I worked a double. All I could think about was what would happen once I got home from work. I knew this would be the first place I would come and here I am. Today was tough. I can literally feel the want for alcohol in my vains and I am worried about what will happen in the days to come. I appreciate all of your support, thoughts, and prayer. I realize that this is something I have to do. I told a friend of mine that the life I lead before December 1st is not an option anymore. I have to get sompletely sober. I have to get healthy.
Today was tough and I know the next couple weeks will be. I was wondering how your relationships changed once you became sober?
Thanks yall.
Today was tough and I know the next couple weeks will be. I was wondering how your relationships changed once you became sober?
Thanks yall.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
If you think it's going to be rough, are you thinking about face to face support Rachel?
My relationships improved out of sight btw - depends what kind you mean I guess - I was single then.
D
My relationships improved out of sight btw - depends what kind you mean I guess - I was single then.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 40
I am going to my first meeting Saturday night, actually. Well, I just wondered what it was like to be in romantic relationships with drinkrs one you became a non-drinker. I am open and honest with my significant other and he supports me. I was just curious as to how his drinking might affect me. Or my families drinking- it is the holidays and my family drinks alot.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Hi Rachel. There are two things I recommend doing: (1) keep coming back here and reading posts so that you always keep what you're doing and why you're doing it in mind, and (2) just get through today, or this hour, or this moment. Don't worry about tomorrow. Everything else will eventually fall into place.
I've found that my husband's drinking doesn't really affect me; instead, my sobriety is affecting my husband. He's drinking less and less because he's just not as interested in it and I'm not trying to get him to drink more so I can stay out longer myself (ie, more time to drink). My family and friends drink and I thought they'd be pushy, but when I told them I'm not drinking anymore, they just said, "Oh, okay" and dropped it. I have a feeling they were glad because they knew it was getting me into trouble. And once other people start drinking, they seem to stop caring what you're doing anyway.
I've found that my husband's drinking doesn't really affect me; instead, my sobriety is affecting my husband. He's drinking less and less because he's just not as interested in it and I'm not trying to get him to drink more so I can stay out longer myself (ie, more time to drink). My family and friends drink and I thought they'd be pushy, but when I told them I'm not drinking anymore, they just said, "Oh, okay" and dropped it. I have a feeling they were glad because they knew it was getting me into trouble. And once other people start drinking, they seem to stop caring what you're doing anyway.
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