Hello, new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6
Hello, new here
I am new to Naranon/family of substance abusers, but not new to Alanon. I have been going to alanon since this past July. I am also working with a sponsor with alanon, and we go over my codependency and Adult child issues as well.
I am new to being around someone who is using drugs. His DOC is heroin, followed by alcohol and possibly coke. I am learning about detaching, letting go and letting my hp. I am learning a lot about the slogan Nothing Changes if nothing changes. I am learning that I can be happy even if he uses/drinks or not. However, I wanted to get a little more support from those that have experinece with people using street drugs. He claims to want to be sober but hasn't worked on it. He has been in 3 rehabs, one for 45 days this last summer. He has been through detoxing. He even has a prescription for suboxene and doesn't use it.
Anyway, I know that when I keep my focus on me, I feel better. I work really hard at not checking on him anymore. I work at it every day. I slip though sometimes and feel yucky afterwards.
Just wanted to hear from others in the same boat... thanks!
I am new to being around someone who is using drugs. His DOC is heroin, followed by alcohol and possibly coke. I am learning about detaching, letting go and letting my hp. I am learning a lot about the slogan Nothing Changes if nothing changes. I am learning that I can be happy even if he uses/drinks or not. However, I wanted to get a little more support from those that have experinece with people using street drugs. He claims to want to be sober but hasn't worked on it. He has been in 3 rehabs, one for 45 days this last summer. He has been through detoxing. He even has a prescription for suboxene and doesn't use it.
Anyway, I know that when I keep my focus on me, I feel better. I work really hard at not checking on him anymore. I work at it every day. I slip though sometimes and feel yucky afterwards.
Just wanted to hear from others in the same boat... thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Hi Marley75: Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of experience, strength, and hope here. I am the mom of a young adult AS (addicted son), and it sounds like your qualifier is a boyfriend/husband. Many people here are in the same boat you are, and i am sure they will be coming along shortly.
Read the stickies, read the threads. There is a wealth of recovery here.
Again, welcome !
Read the stickies, read the threads. There is a wealth of recovery here.
Again, welcome !
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 139
Hi Marley75, Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I have an alcohic son, who is currently being detained at detox waiting for commitment hearing in the morning.
SR is an awesome place, with fantastic support, experience and knowledge. I don't know if I would've gotten through the last month or so if it weren't for them.
Stay here, post often, and most of all read read read. Take care of you. Hugs, FGB
SR is an awesome place, with fantastic support, experience and knowledge. I don't know if I would've gotten through the last month or so if it weren't for them.
Stay here, post often, and most of all read read read. Take care of you. Hugs, FGB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR Marley.....I'm glad you found us. There are so many people here who can provide insight and support for you.
It's so good to hear that you are working your program and can find periods of serenity. It's not unusual to slip up and you're right......it does feel icky. I made some real doozie slip ups yesterday and it felt really bad. But I got up and set my day today straight. That's what really matters. Luckily, I had the help of a friend who is also dealing with similar issues who was there for me this morning to get myself squared away. That kind of support is priceless.
Hope to see you post often and share your experience so that we can all learn from you.
gentle hugs
It's so good to hear that you are working your program and can find periods of serenity. It's not unusual to slip up and you're right......it does feel icky. I made some real doozie slip ups yesterday and it felt really bad. But I got up and set my day today straight. That's what really matters. Luckily, I had the help of a friend who is also dealing with similar issues who was there for me this morning to get myself squared away. That kind of support is priceless.
Hope to see you post often and share your experience so that we can all learn from you.
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Marley))) - welcome to SR!
I came here as a recovering crack addict (RA) and also as a severely codependent. SR has been a HUGE part in my recovery from both addictions (one to crack, the other to A's (addicts/alcoholics).
It's great you're going to meetings, but SR is a tremendous place for some extra ES&H.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I came here as a recovering crack addict (RA) and also as a severely codependent. SR has been a HUGE part in my recovery from both addictions (one to crack, the other to A's (addicts/alcoholics).
It's great you're going to meetings, but SR is a tremendous place for some extra ES&H.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6
Thank you!
Thank you all so much! Yes he is my bf, and though I knew he was an alcoholic when we met, at the time he was going to AA and I thought he was working a program. Through the rehab he went to this past summer I learned he was using heroin and had a past history of abusing oxy's. I guess he loves those opiates. But has been known to do other things too.
I am learning though. And I know I can have serenity regardless of him using or not. I guess I came here to get a little more specialied E S & H because of what he is using. Alanon is great, the message board I go to for alanon is great, but I wanted more
And I have had my own history of addiction: to people and their stuff.
Thanks all!
I am learning though. And I know I can have serenity regardless of him using or not. I guess I came here to get a little more specialied E S & H because of what he is using. Alanon is great, the message board I go to for alanon is great, but I wanted more
And I have had my own history of addiction: to people and their stuff. Thanks all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Marley75: Yes, I have to agree with you that there is a difference between "straight" alcohol addiction and illegal drug use. When I flip between the two boards here (F/F of Alcoholics versus F/F of Substance Abusers), I notice that the F/F Alcohol board has a lot of anger while the F/F of Substances Abusers has the predominant emotion of fear.
Keep coming back !
Keep coming back !
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I had two children with substance abuse issues - My oldest daughter was a binge drinker, the younger child progressed to snorting heroin. As a mom, I was worried and fearful for both of them, but because the older child's drinking had not progressed to the point of obvious life threatening consequences (I realize of course at any point such abuse may in some way be life threatening) the sense of urgency and fear was far different than discovering a teen snorting heroin. The almost instinctive reaction was to do anything and everything to "make her" stop, which of course, we know does not work.
It is a challenge to practice every day, but as you have seen, practice helps and results in positive change. I was literally sick - physically and emotionally as I spiraled down with my kids. Naranon and SR helped me find the tools and really use them each and every day. I'm still a work in progress, but my program has helped in every aspect of my life. Glad you found us!
It is a challenge to practice every day, but as you have seen, practice helps and results in positive change. I was literally sick - physically and emotionally as I spiraled down with my kids. Naranon and SR helped me find the tools and really use them each and every day. I'm still a work in progress, but my program has helped in every aspect of my life. Glad you found us!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
