Vanilla28

hey guys, so ive finally started back up again, and today is the end of my day one,

all i want to do is go to sleep but i cant. im having really bad anxiety right now and not feeling so great. i was fine till i turned out the light then all of a sudden my mind is turning against me. and causing my body to react because of it.

im so uncomfortable right now and am contemplating driving to my parents house, but i cant really. driving when im having anxiety always makes it worse, so im doing the second best thing for comfort that i can, and thats posting here.

im also going to sleep with my light on. LOL kinda my version of pulling the covers over my head to hide from monsters. i know once i go to sleep and wake up tomarrow i will be fine.

Wish i had someone here to help me feel better.

ETOH1977

I am new so I don't know how much help I can be. all i can say is that I was going through this last night....i thought my body was going to convulse, and I was sweating and had high heart rate....every sound was amplified....so i know what ya going through....ride it out for the night, sleep meds help me i.e prescription or a sleep aid, and you should be fine.....if you feel like somin more serious is happening or will happen PLEASE, tell somone or call 911

Vanilla28

thanks for responding! its just your run of the mill anxiety. lol
im just ending a short relapse that ive had so i know i wont have any big withdrawls, its just the anxiety and all the fun physical symptoms that come with it. im alright right now because my mind is busy typing this message, but then when i lay here, it floods back.

i have a perscription to help calm me down, but i usually dont like to take them unless im out in public making a scene. just trying to ride it out as usual.

Welcome to SR. its a good place to come. has helped me lots so far lol

rockindog

I am going onto day 2. Well kind of. Had a somewhat shakey day yesterday with high pulse rate and anxiety. Got better last night but had one beer late in the day. Seemed to calm me down. Gonna get all the hard stuff out of the house. Took the quiz about the level of withdrawl I was in and came out low to moderate. Just took my blood pressure and it is down with a normal heart rate. Feel better, but after about one hour of sleep, I am up and can't sleep. Definitely not nearly as shakey/anxiety as I type this. I have been concerned with reading about getting medical help, but really don't want to do that at this point. I've reached the point where change has to come. I don't have a choice in the matter. I have two friends who have quit drinking and I am talking with them for support. Really need to make this work. Good luck to you guys and I will check back in at the end of my day 2.

Vanilla28

hey, welcome to the board!
stupid anxiety eh? ive been reading through my old posts about how great i was feeling and how i barely had anxiety anymore and that is reminding me of something to look forward to lol wouldnt mind fast forwarding a couple days either. ha

Kmber2010

Vanilla, I spent most of the early nights on here as I had anxiety too. Turned on the lights and all that jazz but each time I laid down I would get all whacked out. Coming here and sharing helped me and also I felt very good when I finally laid down.

Glad you are here sharing and as you know....it does pass and get better.

least

The anxiety will go away. With each passing day it will lessen until it's not bothersome at all. The first several days, as you already know, are the worst. But stay the course and it will get better. I too used to post here when I couldn't sleep. It kept me company during those difficult first few days and kept me from drinking.

mayson28

I first hand know all about the anxiety. The first 5 days it was over whelming and I felt like crying all the time (and sometimes I did) and I felt like I was going to come apart. I was scared of always feeling like that and that sobriety wasn't worth it. And all those sleepless nights. BUT, people on here kept pushing me onwards assuring me that in time it would get better. And it has. I no longer have the anxiety, and I sleep like a baby. I no longer feel lost or in a daze, I feel in control again. I never had a drop as I didn't want to set myself back. Keep in mind that this is all new to you... I figured I had 1460 days in a row drunk so it's normal that the first however many days feels so different to us!!!

SwanSong

Hey, that's a good point!! Many of us put a long consecutive run together, or multiple 'benders' / 'binge' runs just before we made it to help...so yeah do your best to take it easy these first X days til you start feeling better. Going back will only make it worse, as I'm sure you already know. Hey, if you reading this and your sober then you must have made it through the night.

Now, if nothing else, you don't have ever have to do day #1 again if you don't want to...try to take comfort in that, I know I do - oh, and thanks for sharing with us!!

Vanilla28

thanks guys! yup, i made it through the night. it was pretty brutal though. everytime i was almost asleep boom, i would jolt awake. i just got up now. its 12pm where i am. im feeling really groggy and out of it right now. could just be shaking off the sleepdust.
how im going to start getting up again at 5am on thrusday is going to be tough. (i havent been working for the last 3 months) will be nice to go to work and not be hung over.

hoping tonight we be easier. feel good that i didnt drink yesterday though!

Dee74

Glad you feel better today.

If you don't want to take your meds, have you discussed this with your Dr, or searched out non medical ways to deal with your anxiety, Vanilla?

D

Vanilla28

i ended up having to take it last night and it did help. i only take it when all the other stuff ive learned over the years doesnt help, like the deep breathing and possitive imagary etc...alot of the time that stuff is enough. and i can calm down. its kind of funny though, im one of those people who dont like to take medications for anything, even tylonal, but yet i have no problem downing booze night after night? LOL

i have a feeling tonight is going to be alot easier than lastnight. i think it was just that bad because it was night #1.

thanks again everyone for all your support!! i really appreciate it.

rockindog

Wrapping up day two and headed to day three. Had a much better day today. Still didn't sleep too good last night. We have about 4 inches of new snow so I am headed out to dig out before bed. Also hit the gym for cardio and a little lifting. Would like to imbibe but ain't gonna do it today.