SJTChiSox

Hello everyone, My name is Stephen. I am currently 42 days clean. I am enrolled in a partial hospitalization program in Chicago. The program involves me attending classes and groups during the day, while I am allowed to live in an apartment after. I attend at least one, often two AA/NA meetings a night. I have been using/drinking for over 10 years. I am 27 years old. This means its been my entire adult life, which translates too "Never really learned to be a adult". My main addictions were alcohol, opiates and cocaine. The cocaine only appeared during the last year or two.

I had a seizure after three days cold turkey. My kidneys stopped functioning. It is a miracle I am here today. I have no idea how I am not in jail or dead. I do not even have a legal record. I should and very well could if I go back out. That seizure may have very well saved my life. I have recognized I had a problem around the age of 23 and have been trying to quit for years, especially over the last two. Seems like I was quitting every other weekend these past few months. My mind is finally open to try anything. I have been given the gift of total desperation.

I honestly feel as if my life has been given back to me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am dealing with emotions I have never dealt with. Chiefly, emotions related to my childhood. I am realizing that it was not a good one. It is something I am dealing with though. I am very good at sharing and verbalizing my problems at meetings and in small group.

I was a social worker, I dealt with abused children. After two years of work I had to quit. I was overworked and tired. I also had accumulated a month and a half worth of overtime hours so I am okay fiscally.

Anyways just wanted to introduce myself. I have been coming to these boards for a long time. This is the first time that I am participating and attending meetings. I am very excited for what the future holds, but for now I am taking it one day at a time.

Anna

Welcome, Stephen!

I'm glad you have made the decision to live a sober life.

artsoul

One day at a time is great - it was the key to my sobriety in the first month or two and now I use it for just about everything in life.

Congratulations on your time sober. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Now you can look forward to having a new and rewarding life! Thanks for joining and sharing your story with us. Hang around - it's a great place for support anytime of day!

LawMama

Welcome Stephen! Thanks for the hopeful story. I worked with abused children for a couple years too....very tough and a great excuse for me to drink. Small world because I'm from the Chicago suburbs and the same age as you. If you weren't a Sox fan, I would say we have a lot in common

Stick around SR! It is a nice addition to a recovery program, and it is available 24/7!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Stephen
I too feel very blessed to have that second chance - good to have you with us!

D

julez

Welcome Stephen! You sound very wise for your 27 years! I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you're finding the help you need. I look forward to hearing more from you!

Ghostly

Welcome to SR! Congrats on the sober time. Sounds like you have a great plan in place.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community
Congratulations on your sober time
and new direction.....

SJTChiSox

LawMama - I am grateful that I have never known the pain that it is to be a Cubs fan. :P I actually felt bad for Cubs fans once, when they got swept by the Dodgers in 08. It was a strange feeling.

I'm actually really thinking about getting my LCSW. I loved working with kids, but the parents were a challenge. Also, there were certain times when I knew that I had to transfer a case but I couldn't. Plus they overworked me big time. It wasn't by choice that I accumulated over a month and a half of overtime hours. That is insane to me actually. I have forgiven my agency, but it was very reckless and not okay for them to give me such a load. It is also my fault because I never set boundaires and could not say "no".

It was a great rationalization though, "Oh look at what I have to deal with all day, I deserve this or that. I need to unwind blah blah blah". Frankly, it was selfish of me to do so because my clients did not get all the attention they deserved.

------

Anyways

Thank you for the great comments everyone! I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you all. This forum is yet another part of my "whatever it takes" philosphy that I have adopted and hope very much to continue to practice. The day before my seizure I told myself that I would have to put twice the amount of work to be sober that I did to drink and use. In all actuallity I know that it is going to take much more the double the amount of work to get clean. Thankfully I realize this and am willing to put it in.

I am in my hometown of Rockford now, getting ready to go back to Chicago (where I live). I am going to a Young Person's Big Book Study tonight. Going to really start working on the first step this week too. I have a great and strict sponsor. He makes me call everyday and pushes me. Heck, he even had me a lead a small meeting, and it was a surprise! I am so glad I did because I love sharing my story and I get alot of practice in my program.

Have a good day everyone!!! Everyday sober is such a wonderful gift!

SwanSong

Welcome to SR!

I love this last paragraph you wrote-

'Anyways just wanted to introduce myself. I have been coming to these boards for a long time. This is the first time that I am participating and attending meetings. I am very excited for what the future holds, but for now I am taking it one day at a time.'

That's awesome!!!!! Thanks for posting..

least

Welcome to the family! And congrats on your clean and sober time. It's good you've decided at such a young age to live a c/s life... when you get older you won't have a truckload of regrets and bad memories.

LawMama

I'm more of a Bears fan than anything. Hope you'll stick around SR!

SJTChiSox

Now thats something we can agree on.

Did you here about the guy who died yesterday at Soliders Field? Tragic story, and I would assume alcohol was involved.

MsCooterBrown

Hey Stephen!! You know...I too am very excited about sobriety.
I think working with abused children takes a special kind of person. I bet it is hard to fill your shoes..that may be why they overworked you. You sound compassionate to me. So happy you survived and were given a second chance. People are not all so fortunate but you pulled thru to the other side. Hope to hear from you often. I am always VERY impressed by young people who "get it" and get out from under it. I wish you well!!

SJTChiSox

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

I started a thread on my first step work, maybe some newcomers to the program will be interested.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...step-work.html