Ainslie

Day 12 - no weed. An hour ago I was crying with laughter, now im totally distraught, for no apparent reason at all.

I pride myself on my strength and resilience and dont like to complain when im down - I always think 'dont complain about something you can fix yourself' - but I cant fix this, I just have to wait it out till all this horrible THC is out of my system and my brain is back to normal - well normal as it can be.

Looking forward to going back to work on Monday because at least thats 10 hours of the day where im focussing on something other than myself.

Its 11pm here and the gym is closed - normally id just go down there if I was upset but I cant so im posting this.

Thanks for reading.

Anna

Hi Ainslie,

It sounds like you're doing great!

I hope you sleep well!

VeeTee

Hi Ainslie - don't worry, complaining can help to air your heart... Great exercise regime you got here, using the internet when the gym's closed.
I quit the weed years ago, but that was an emotional rollercoaster for me. I hope yours isn't too bad for much longer.

take care Vee

coffeenut

It's okay to complain. Everyone needs a hand every now and again.

Ainslie

The gym autolocks at 10pm because drunk idiots go in and try to be supermen on the machines and break all the cables.....well thats what the building manager told me anyhow.

Ideally id go out for a run - but its saturday night and the drunks are out in full force LOL, I might take a dodgy shortcut and head down to the beach....its still beautiful and warm out, being down at the beach always cheers me up - night or day

Isaiah

I hate to hear myself complaining too, but I think there is a time and place for it. This is a place for it. In the end it will be you who fixes this problem, but if you need to come here and get a little cheerleading or whatever that's what we do (I've got my pom-poms but I'm afraid I can't fit into my skirt after all this holiday eating.)

I have never thought about drunks going to the gym before. Nuts. But I guess I've gone to stranger places while under the influence.

Dee74

Remind me not to visit your town on a Saturday night Ainslie

I hope you feel better today - it is an emotional rollercoaster, no matter what the drug is, I think - but it gets easier as the days mount up.

You won't regret it - you can do this

D

Ainslie

Thanks Dee - im enjoying the lessons this is bringing - the clarity i feel is beautiful - some people are just unnecessarily mean for example, and I cant change that. I can only choose how to react, and the old me would either abuse them back or hit them, but the new me is choosing NOT to react at all, and accept that some people are just assholes and may or may not change in their own time. It's THEIR choice.

Lol and from my experience, if you want to find an aus town/city that isnt full of drunks on a saturday - you gotta go outback to those 'dry' areas.... where booze is still sold on the blackmarket anyway LOL.