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so tired

Old 11-26-2010, 08:24 PM
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RGB
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so tired

I'm about to close out day 5 in a few minutes here. I'm trying to really do it this time. I've been to a lot of meetings since Monday, and have painfully learned that my journey isn't going to be simply about "not having a drink". There's a lot of stuff I need to confront on this journey, and some of it is going to be hard. But I'm starting to feel like it's the only way that I can stay clean.

I did some of that confronting today with my wife, and it sucked. I'm glad I did it, but it was an awful day. We're heading to bed in a minute (the same bed, thank goodness), but we have a lot of healing to do together.

I'm nervous and excited about what the future has in store.
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Old 11-26-2010, 08:29 PM
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GOOD JOB!!! And congratulations on working through that hard stuff with your wife ... those are some tough conversations!

And, as far as confronting issues goes ... you're right, it'll be hard. But sometimes those dragons we've been running from for so long turn out to be just ... lizards. Not even gila monsters, just lizards. Keep the faith! You're in good company here!
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Old 11-27-2010, 02:33 PM
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thanks, Katybug! I like it here already.

I woke up with a stomach flu and my fever has been rising all day. At first my wife woke up to me vomiting and was suspicious She has a right to be, I've been very deceptive about this in the past. She got over it pretty quickly, though.

The flu has stomped any desire to drink for the day, so aside from trying to keep 7-up down all day, it's a fairly easy day 6 for me. I'm sad that I can't get off from the couch for a meeting today (first day without a meeting since I started on Monday), but I did spend some good time with the book.
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Old 11-27-2010, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by RGB View Post
I'm about to close out day 5 in a few minutes here. I'm trying to really do it this time. I've been to a lot of meetings since Monday, and have painfully learned that my journey isn't going to be simply about "not having a drink". There's a lot of stuff I need to confront on this journey, and some of it is going to be hard. But I'm starting to feel like it's the only way that I can stay clean.

I did some of that confronting today with my wife, and it sucked. I'm glad I did it, but it was an awful day. We're heading to bed in a minute (the same bed, thank goodness), but we have a lot of healing to do together.

I'm nervous and excited about what the future has in store.
Welcome!

When I first came to AA I was terrified and excited at the same time.. I knew deep down that I had finally found something that can help me through my problems but I was terrified to look at myself and become honest with myself.. For me that was the hardest part.. I am not perfect and I still have the occasional problem with being honest with myself but through the grace of God and this program I have learned how to deal with practically anything and I can now face myself and the rest of the world with a smiling face.
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Old 11-27-2010, 02:44 PM
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Sorry you feel unwell RGB - hope you feel better soon

D
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Old 11-27-2010, 04:23 PM
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It's good that you recognize that stopping drinking is only the beginning of the journey. Know that you can do this!

I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 11-27-2010, 06:14 PM
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Sorry you're sick - hope you feel better really soon.

Congratulations on day 6!
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:33 PM
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Closing out day 15, woot woot!

Wife is out of town tonight. My regular routine here would be to grab some liquor and drink more than I intended to, "happy" because I can openly drink in the living room.

Instead I studied, played some guitar, and am watching Conan before turning in. I'll be a bit tired for work from staying up later than my normal bedtime, but 6 hours of sleep and no hangover is infinitely better than 4 hours of sleep and being too messy to function!

I was bummed out Saturday, as I'm still processing what it would be like trying to have fun without ever drinking. All my friends went to Vegas this weekend, and so it was weighing on me a lot. Feeling better now though.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:43 PM
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Congrats Rgb! Don't sweat the weekends...you will figure them out eventually...the first handful were rough for me as well:-)
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Old 12-06-2010, 09:01 PM
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Congratulations on 15 days - that's really an accomplishment. There were days (nights mainly) when I thought about people who could go out and have a drink too. I was pretty envious I guess.

The good part is that those feelings pass (as you've found out). I wanted a drink a couple times during the last two days, but I'm loving sobriety today - it was a really positive day. Kinda like the weather: give it a day or two and things will change!
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Old 12-07-2010, 07:10 AM
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Congrats on your sober time! it will get better, I promise, and will start feeling 'normal' to not drink.
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