takintyme

Hi ,
I have been sober for 4 days. The first 3 1/2 days have been great. Feeling optimistic, positive, was calm and grateful all day yesterday during Thanksgiving.
This afternoon I am full of anxiety. It was like a wave hit me. I want to cry, seclude myself, impatient with my spouse.
Started with finding out my teenager bounced a check. Then my sister told my terminal ill mother she can’t go help her a now after she told my mom she would. Then when I spoke to my mother she told me she needs help. It’s complicated but I can’t drop everything and run to her.
On top of everything I got a speeding ticket the other day and I feel like a criminal. I truly normally do not speed, and swear that I wasn’t going as fast as the officer said I was. Now I feel guilty that I have put this financial burden on my family. I have know idea how I am going to pay for the ticket. I feel so guilty and sad.
I know that anxiety is normal in the early stages, but how do I know if the anxiety was there before, and I was just drinking to mask it all these years, or is just normal.

Stevie1

Any one of those things would make any normal (sober) person anxious!

Does it matter whether you're anxious about them for completely legitimate reasons, or whether you'd be less anxious if you got drunk? You probably know the answer to that.

That said, day 4 here as well and I am tense as hell and cranky too. I'd be less tense and cranky if I were drunk right now, no doubt. That's one of the sneaky things about alcohol...it does work in the very short term to make you feel less tense and anxious about things. Long term of course it doesn't....one of the challenges of quitting is figuring out how to deal with life's inevitable stresses head-on, without getting bombed.

Dee74

Hi takintyme

Noone here can tell you if your anxiety was preexisting or not. Early recovery doesn't help tho, I'm sure.

I tend to agree that any one of these things alone would make anyone nervous...the important thing to remember is you will get through all these things...you can only do as much as you can...and you can get through them all, sober

Best wishes and welcome

D

Isaiah

I would just stick to the anxiety that is here and now. If you had anxiety issues in the past, that anxiety is long passed and probably not worth worrying much about.

Consider maybe getting some kind of outside help for it. It might get you through the early sobriety slump, and if you do have an anxiety condition you'll be a step ahead in treating it.

lulu70

Hang in there, hon'! It will get better. Take deep breaths, take a hot bath, take a walk, but don't take a drink. As others have said, alcohol might make it better in the short-term, but it will only get worse in the long-run.

alexvt

Oh yeah I just went through the anxiety phase!! Ugh I feel for you. It does pass though, for me it was day 14 or 15 and then Gone! Herbal tea helped me also. The Yogi teas have some for anxiety. It is called calming. Just a suggestion. Hang in there it really should get better! Take Care.

LostInDreams

I can definitely relate to anxiety! Drinking always seemed like the best solution to take the edge off and help take my mind off whatever was causing the anxiety but that solution is only temporary.

I have really begun to see that drinking only causes more anxiety and that as much as I may love drinking while it's happening, I HATE it once it's happened.

Take one thing at a time and remind yourself that whatever anxiety you have sober would be magnified if you were not sober.

Good luck with everything, hope some of your anxiety in relieved soon

NewMe11109

Hi Takintyme -

Fear (anxiety) is a part of life (unfortunately). However, the question is how we deal with it.

For an alcoholic, there is a typical progression from fear to anger to resentment to self-pity to drinking.

Working a program of recovery doesn't get rid of the anxiety, but it does give us tools to deal with the fear and anxiety in a healthy way. It allows us to break the cycle before it leads to more problems. Drinking doesn't resolve the thing we are feeling fearful about, it just covers it up and delays the inevitable (often making it worse).

I found that I couldn't do this alone. I use AA + SR + working with other alcoholics. I now have the tools to take action to resolve my anxiety. Sometimes - it means doing something; but often, it means actually doing nothing -- as in giving the fear away to my higher power as something that I can't control (and hence, I shouldn't be worrying about it).

Keep posting. Welcome.

Dee74

I don't do AA but I'm a lot better at dealing with anxiety than I used to be - the idea that feelings weren't an imperative for me to react to was a revelation to me, as was the idea it was ok to feel anxious in stressful circumstances.

I find exercise helps me a lot too - as does some deep breathing exercises.

The best thing tho is just dealing with stuff - it gets easier, takintyme

If you think this is a long standing condition, or if it's concerning you, please do see a Dr or a counsellor tho

D

SashaFierce

Ive been feeling the same way tonight. This is the part that is hard for me...dealing with life's issues a different way that I have been. I guess now we have to rough it through things like everybody else right? But I've been wondering...Am I quick to reach for the bottle because Its what I've been doing in response to my problems everyday for years? (hard habit/routine to break) or Is my body reacting to not having alcohol (chemical dependence)

yeahgr8

That was always the same for me...whether i quit for 4 days or 4 months life would just happen and i didn't know how to deal with it...it might be the thrill of getting money and posessions that i wanted or the low of some sort of life problem like yours...

The anxiety was always there...the drinking helped for a while then later it made the anxiety worse...anxiety will get worse when you quit then will get better but it will still be there...like a doc once asked a friend of mine "do you still feel any anxiety about anything?", my friend answered "not at all i have a way for coping with anxiety now and it is fine"...then doc replied "so you still feel anxiety then!"...

Getting sober and pretending that the anxiety has gone and living like the boy in the bubble trying to avoid any and all life issues isn't living...we need to change our very core and for that most of us need help...AA worked for me along with a CBT counselor...good luck:-)

Cottonwoodchris

Lost and Sasha, alcohol is what I always turned to to quell the anxiety in my past. That tightness in the chest, racing heartbeat, nervousness, feeling like I'm gonna just blow up. I took a few drinks and was fine.

Now, I just deal with life on life's terms. I don't put off the damn bill collectors, I call them and face them. I don't put off situations that will cause me issues. Sounds easy, right? No, it's not, by any means. Life right now, for me, is tough. And, I'm doing it sober. Oh, it was so nice being high or drunk. Not a care in the world.

There are no easy answers, if there were, we wouldn't be here at SR, right? Find a meeting, some support group. If AA doesn't work, try NA. Or, sober friends or relatives. Or keep coming back here.

Ainslie

I've had anxiety since I was a child.....and aside from prescribed medication, I found classical music to be of great help in calming my mind. Preferably on an ipod with the lights out. Here's one of my favourite pieces you might like Just watching the pianist is quite calming for me - but different strokes for different folks.

Anna

I think that you're going through the period of learning how to deal with life and its problems, without numbing yourself. I went through that period and it was really hard because I felt like I had no clue. Something that helped me a lot, was to know that my emotions didn't control me. They are just feelings and I can feel them and let them go. They are not 'me'.

takintyme

Thank you for your responses. Well a new day, and a good nights rest can do wonders.

I really appreciate all of your support.