Lonely
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 1
Lonely
Is loneliness part of this diesease???? I am a active alcoholic........my mom was a drunk and I know i am a drunk...............I keep moving from state to state trying to out run this..............but I cant ...........now I am In Salt Lake city far from where I started..............I am so damn lonely I dont know anybody here, hate my job, hate my life................I am 46 and I failed at life, education , love, career................I failed at everything............here I am sitting in this apartment alone..............drinking my sadness away....is there still hope?? I feel hopeless...........is loneliness part of this diesease?
Why do I keep thinking life will get better??............it never does............I have no friends, no family and no hope................is this part of it or is it just me who cant live life right??
Why do I keep thinking life will get better??............it never does............I have no friends, no family and no hope................is this part of it or is it just me who cant live life right??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hi Steve,
Well, i guess you have already worked out that the disease follows you where ever you go.
In my experience, my alcoholism progressed to a terrible loneliness as I protected my drinking and went further into hating life, blaming my issues on everything else - like my crappy childhood blah blah blah.
Once i faced the fact that it was alcohol that was making me feel this way, and was also a big part of the "failures" in my life, I felt liberated. Finally I could deal with something tangible.
Steve, stop drinking, take it one day at a time and I am sure you will see some improvement in your thought patterns. Remember, alcohol is a depressant.
oh and welcome to SR
This place can be a great source of help for you. If you don't think you can do it on your own, maybe try AA. If nothing else, you will meet some others who are in same boat as you.
Well, i guess you have already worked out that the disease follows you where ever you go.
In my experience, my alcoholism progressed to a terrible loneliness as I protected my drinking and went further into hating life, blaming my issues on everything else - like my crappy childhood blah blah blah.
Once i faced the fact that it was alcohol that was making me feel this way, and was also a big part of the "failures" in my life, I felt liberated. Finally I could deal with something tangible.
Steve, stop drinking, take it one day at a time and I am sure you will see some improvement in your thought patterns. Remember, alcohol is a depressant.
oh and welcome to SR
This place can be a great source of help for you. If you don't think you can do it on your own, maybe try AA. If nothing else, you will meet some others who are in same boat as you.
2nd chance at a 1st cl*** life
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Jose, Ca
Posts: 492
I think that part of the reason we indulge (drink or use) is to cover up those feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I felt pretty lonely in my disease because like you I did a lot of drinking and using at home alone, you know trying to get rid of the boredom. I'm in recovery now and I've made a lot of friends; both here and in AA. In my opinion life is better on this side. I see that you refer to yourself as a drunk. Do you want to stop drinking or do you just not want to feel lonely? I've found my higher power again only through the help of AA. Being said I know that I'm never alone, God is always with me. Just know you're never truly alone, pick up the phone and give someone a call. A lot of us including myself aren't to particularly happy about certain circumstances in our lives, but thats life. We have to live life on lifes terms. If you do have a desire to quit drinking try going to a meeting. I can almost guarantee you you'll meet some cool peeps that would probably be willing to take you out for a cup of coffee or something. I don't want to push the subject of AA on you so sorry if it seems that I am. I do hope that you get out of this funk though bro.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 144
Alcohol is a depressant, as OzGoddess mentioned, and there isn't a problem that it can't make worse.
There is a major part of me that remembers how that loneliness felt. So yes, IME, loneliness was a constant companion as my alcoholism progressed...and not such a nice friend.
If you can do it, I'd suggest checking out an AA meeting so that you touch base with others who understand.
There is a major part of me that remembers how that loneliness felt. So yes, IME, loneliness was a constant companion as my alcoholism progressed...and not such a nice friend.
If you can do it, I'd suggest checking out an AA meeting so that you touch base with others who understand.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family.
Yes, I was lonely too... but drinking home alone every day didn't help matters any...
Please get help to stop drinking and stay sober. AA would be a good start. Lots of people there who were once in your position and would understand. Please do whatever you can to stop drinking. Alcohol just makes everything worse.
Yes, I was lonely too... but drinking home alone every day didn't help matters any...
Please get help to stop drinking and stay sober. AA would be a good start. Lots of people there who were once in your position and would understand. Please do whatever you can to stop drinking. Alcohol just makes everything worse.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 7
loneliness
Hei I live alone in Norway. i am also lonely. Thought I had decided to be, but sometimes I understand I am "bad company" I have read some place thath this is the lonelies desiese. not so easy cause it is also the stuff thats makes me open up and is a part of socializing
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I drank for 20 years Steve - nearly killed myself with it.
I was in the deepest pit of despair, blackness and loneliness and sorrow.
4 years on - I've been happy for the first time in my adult life
There is another way to be - the first step is stopping drinking.
Alcohol poisons your body - but it poisons the mind too, and your perspective.
Like Mark said - reach out - get some help - and I know you'll find a lot of support here too...
We get it
Welcome to SR Steve
D
I was in the deepest pit of despair, blackness and loneliness and sorrow.
4 years on - I've been happy for the first time in my adult life
There is another way to be - the first step is stopping drinking.
Alcohol poisons your body - but it poisons the mind too, and your perspective.
Like Mark said - reach out - get some help - and I know you'll find a lot of support here too...
We get it
Welcome to SR Steve
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Yes, there is always HOPE!
Alcoholism is a disease that isolates us. I was never so alone, as when I reached my bottom and knew I had to stop drinking. This disease robs us of everything.
Please do not see yourself as a failure. You are here and you are seeking support and that's great. Take a look around and you will see you are not alone.
Alcoholism is a disease that isolates us. I was never so alone, as when I reached my bottom and knew I had to stop drinking. This disease robs us of everything.
Please do not see yourself as a failure. You are here and you are seeking support and that's great. Take a look around and you will see you are not alone.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I can feel the despair in your post and know one thing, as the others have said, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS hope!! You can't see tomorrow, but you know its coming. Know there is hope your life can and will change, but you've got some work to do and you are so worth the work and the time.
I do agree that you might want to investigate some face to face support groups, but don't hesitate to call SR your home either. SR can help and does help lots of people every day. I owe my life to the people here.
If I were lonely though I would definitely start looking at ways I could meet some like minded people. There might be a church nearby or definitely a support group that would be a call away.
You are right in that our problems follow us until we turn around and deal with them head on. You are moving in the right direction just by being drawn here. There is a reason you are here my friend. Don't ever give up on you!
I do agree that you might want to investigate some face to face support groups, but don't hesitate to call SR your home either. SR can help and does help lots of people every day. I owe my life to the people here.
If I were lonely though I would definitely start looking at ways I could meet some like minded people. There might be a church nearby or definitely a support group that would be a call away.
You are right in that our problems follow us until we turn around and deal with them head on. You are moving in the right direction just by being drawn here. There is a reason you are here my friend. Don't ever give up on you!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
There is always hope, and YOU ARE WORTH IT! You have to believe that you have much to offer the world, and you have to get out there, and make it happen! Go to church, try AA, how about an online dating service? The possibilities for you are endless, you just have to find them. Welcome to SR. You always have us!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
.....Welcome to our recovery communityWhen my drinking turned me into a woman I detested
I committed to AA.....wisest move I ever made....
Out the dorr....take action...get into AA.
It's an awesome adventure
Journey of Recovery
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 621
Steve,
Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.
I understand how you feel. I was lonely even in a room full of people. By myself, I felt devastated and empty. I have tried the geographical cure many times, moving my children state to state. I married several times to no avail. Drinking followed me wherever I went.
I finally had had enough and when I couldn't stop on my own, I reached out to AA.
By taking that first step, I reached through the door of freedom and the loneliness slowly went away. I now have a new life. It does get better.
Continue to reach out and you won't be alone anymore. You don't have to do this by yourself.
Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.
I understand how you feel. I was lonely even in a room full of people. By myself, I felt devastated and empty. I have tried the geographical cure many times, moving my children state to state. I married several times to no avail. Drinking followed me wherever I went.
I finally had had enough and when I couldn't stop on my own, I reached out to AA.
By taking that first step, I reached through the door of freedom and the loneliness slowly went away. I now have a new life. It does get better.
Continue to reach out and you won't be alone anymore. You don't have to do this by yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Great stuff you sound hopeless and desperate enough to do something about it! get to AA, get a sponsor, work the steps and get a spiritual awakening (dreastivc personality change) which will allow you to recover from alcoholism...i guarantee if you do this you will never feel the loneliness that you do now even if you sat in a room for a year by yourself...
The other stuff: exercise, eating better, career, location, friends, lovers, hobbies etcetc will all come into place where approrpiate if you do what i suggested:-)
The other stuff: exercise, eating better, career, location, friends, lovers, hobbies etcetc will all come into place where approrpiate if you do what i suggested:-)
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
There is hope!!!!!!!
The alcohol is the culprit. You recognize that...it is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer....you must treat it!
I was in your same exact postion exactly a year ago when I put myself in a 30 day rehab. Since I have relapsed and awful things have come of it. Now I am on day 55 and determined to beat this dreadful monster who wants to destroy me.
I just moved to get closer to family and more support. This webpage helped me tremendously in the last 2 months...the support here has been incredible. I was so down, they have lifted me back up. Loving me for who I am and understanding where I am.
I am still lonely sometimes, but, facing it sober.
See your doc and get to AA I say. You can do this. I promise you there is hope.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
There is are online meetings here too, check them out. Great group of peeps with a lot of support to be shared. You are not alone.
It's never to late to change your life, I am 40 and starting over.
The alcohol is the culprit. You recognize that...it is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer....you must treat it!
I was in your same exact postion exactly a year ago when I put myself in a 30 day rehab. Since I have relapsed and awful things have come of it. Now I am on day 55 and determined to beat this dreadful monster who wants to destroy me.
I just moved to get closer to family and more support. This webpage helped me tremendously in the last 2 months...the support here has been incredible. I was so down, they have lifted me back up. Loving me for who I am and understanding where I am.
I am still lonely sometimes, but, facing it sober.
See your doc and get to AA I say. You can do this. I promise you there is hope.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
There is are online meetings here too, check them out. Great group of peeps with a lot of support to be shared. You are not alone.
It's never to late to change your life, I am 40 and starting over.
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Hi Steve -
One of the big things that people forget about AA is that it is a fellowship ... in other words, a group of friends.
The people in AA are some of the most genuine people I've met. They don't judge. They just want you to get better.
Like all people, I feel lonely sometimes too. When I do, my action is simple... I just go to an AA meeting.
Give it a try.
One of the big things that people forget about AA is that it is a fellowship ... in other words, a group of friends.
The people in AA are some of the most genuine people I've met. They don't judge. They just want you to get better.
Like all people, I feel lonely sometimes too. When I do, my action is simple... I just go to an AA meeting.
Give it a try.
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