SSIL75

Not recovery related. Just a BAD day with my son (4). I didn't handle a situation with him very productively and felt awful about it. Floods of tears come 8pm when he was finally asleep, etc.

Even though I'm pregnant I would absolutely have used that as an excuse to have a generously sized drink in the past (clinging to the advice that some doctors give about 'occasional' being ok) but anyway it was such a different experience for me to think 'how can I make myself feel better?' rather than go on a destructive bender.

I picked out my most comfortable PJ's. Talked (sobbed) to my husband. Drank some hot chocolate. Watched Skating with the stars and went to bed early so that I'd have a good head on me today so make better parenting decisions.

It was good! To treat myself with kindness instead of poison. How revolutionary

mayson28

I can relate. My kids had a meltdown near supper time while I was making it, while making school lunches, filling out forms, getting my sons skates packed for the next day etc. Normally I would take a big slug of the hard stuff to get thru it. Instead I dealt with the issue (including a lot of anxious pacing) once everything was calm, I went and cried in the shower a fews mins, then came out refreshed and glad I didn't give in to the "excuse" to drink. The rest of the evening was calm by the fire with a cup of tea. Be proud SSIL75, I know I am!

least

How easy it is to be good to others but not ourselves... I never used to think I 'deserved' to be treated well, especially by myself... I'm glad I no longer think that way!


Good for you to be kind to yourself.

stellaloella

I'm sorry about your tough day. Children can be so frustrating and we love them so much that it's a hit to our self esteem when we feel we aren't doing things right. I also am just now arriving at the concept that it's important to treat myself with love. Why did I never get that point before? Best of luck.

Dee74

I dunno how you moms (and dads) do it sometimes


way to go SSIL75

D

coffeenut

Learning these things only makes your sobriety stronger, and your children stronger as a result. Good for you!

Anna

Yes, absolutely treat yourself well.

It's really hard being a Mom, and I think we are so hard on ourselves. I'm glad you feel a bit better.

Launa

Ack. Being a parent is emotional under the best of circumstances. I love that you are thinking of ways to take care of yourselves. It's good advice for anyone, not just parents in recovery. I would add that having a community, a good friend to call -- maybe even a sponsor -- goes a long way. As long as they are supportive and empathic. They don't even really need to say anything. I sometimes think that the isolation of addiction cause us to believe that we are the ones with the problem, so we are the ones to fix it. Don't forget to reach out too. Community is everything

gr8t2bme

so proud of you. you made a great choice.

flutter

Though I'm still just a new mommy, I know as a mother how difficult parenting is, and how important the decisions we make, even on a whim can be. I also know how it feels to screw up, or react in a way that I realize I shouldn't have, and so on. I know the heartache that comes with regretting my behavior or actions when it comes to my son, it's deeper than most anything. Not that I've done anything terrible, but when I've scolded instead of encouraged, grown frustrated instead of playful, become annoyed instead of grateful.. I have to forgive myself and grow, and hug that lil tyke tighter next time. You're a good mama, and you're doing wonderful things for your life and your childrens' lives. None of it is easy.. and it shouldn't be. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself, we have to, ya know?