Addiction,and more addiction
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Addiction,and more addiction
My ABF loves to watch porn when he gets high. Which is every day.He says that the CRK makes him feel very horny.Has anyone dealt with this or dealing with this?
It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me.He only wants to be intimate when he's high.And mainly in his favor.
Its becoming very depressing.
It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me.He only wants to be intimate when he's high.And mainly in his favor.
Its becoming very depressing.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
It's normal that you would feel depressed because your boyfriend prefers smoking crack and watching porn to having a normal healthy, sexual relationship with his girlfriend.
Unfortunately it's not going to get any better. It's just going to get creepier and creepier as long as you are with him and he is using crack.
Why are you with him?
Unfortunately it's not going to get any better. It's just going to get creepier and creepier as long as you are with him and he is using crack.
Why are you with him?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
hey there, persistant.
i am sorry you are in pain. being with a drug addict, and hoping, wishing, and trying, for a more normal relationship is incredibly frustrating, energy-depleting, and depressing. i know that i became a much different person when i was intimately involved with one. even more that when i separated, and then divorced, my husband of 18 years, which was definitely stressful. there's just nothing else like it. you have my sympathy.
you also have my support. along with a lot of others here.
did you want answers to a question? or are you just reaching out, because you feel you have no where to turn?
we will encourage you.
i am sorry you are in pain. being with a drug addict, and hoping, wishing, and trying, for a more normal relationship is incredibly frustrating, energy-depleting, and depressing. i know that i became a much different person when i was intimately involved with one. even more that when i separated, and then divorced, my husband of 18 years, which was definitely stressful. there's just nothing else like it. you have my sympathy.
you also have my support. along with a lot of others here.
did you want answers to a question? or are you just reaching out, because you feel you have no where to turn?
we will encourage you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
It's one of these "it's not you ... it's me" scenarios - in regards to him and you how you are feeling hurt by him. It's not you ... it is him.
having a relationship with an addict does not equate to the kind of relationship you are wanting/requesting. So... in the meantime - while you are in it - learn the ways to love yourself enough for the both of you.
Don't become sick and have bad feelings about yourself because he chooses to do what addicts do.
This is your life!
Reclaim it !!!
(do it with him or w/out him!)
having a relationship with an addict does not equate to the kind of relationship you are wanting/requesting. So... in the meantime - while you are in it - learn the ways to love yourself enough for the both of you.
Don't become sick and have bad feelings about yourself because he chooses to do what addicts do.
This is your life!
Reclaim it !!!
(do it with him or w/out him!)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 138
Addicts usually are addicted to multiple things. They have a compulsive nature. Personally, I think its disrespectful and shows that he is EXTREMELY selfish! Do you ever wonder what a loving, respectful, mutually satisfying relationship would feel like???? Personally, I do! And will never settle for less ever again!!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Originally Posted by persistent 
My ABF loves to watch porn when he gets high. Which is every day.He says that the CRK makes him feel very horny.Has anyone dealt with this or dealing with this?
It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me.He only wants to be intimate when he's high.And mainly in his favor.
Its becoming very depressing.
It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me.He only wants to be intimate when he's high.And mainly in his favor.
Its becoming very depressing.
There are things you can do to change the way you feel. You won't be able to change him.....just you. If you could, what would you change? (remember...you can't change him...just you) What could you do differently so that you no longer feel the way you do?
gentle hugs
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by stacecakes
Addicts usually are addicted to multiple things. They have a compulsive nature. Personally, I think its disrespectful and shows that he is EXTREMELY selfish! Do you ever wonder what a loving, respectful, mutually satisfying relationship would feel like???? Personally, I do! And will never settle for less ever again!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
My EXAH was the same way.
What do you want for your life?
Personally I could no longer be with an addict.
I deserve better, and so do you.
What do you want for your life?
Personally I could no longer be with an addict.
I deserve better, and so do you.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by persistent
I love him but I love myself more.My mother told me I can come stay with her and thats what Im going to do.My heart cries with pain I have to leave.And thank you all for listening to me,giving me advice.And honestly before I found this site I felt sooooo alone.I dont know you personally but you all have helped me in a way you just dont know how.Thank You
I understand the pain of leaving. I grieved for my EXAH long after I left him.
You are not alone in the least! I hope you continue to post regardless of where you are living.
We care.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Good for you for choosing to take care of yourself and protecting your sanity. Life is too short to wait for a crack addict to quit smoking. Seriously too short. You will kill yourself if you try. Crack is an insidious drug and human beings can't compete with the hold it has over it's victims.
Do you have a date set for leaving? I strongly encourage to write down your plans and set goals for yourself so you don't backslide in your decision. I know it's hard but we will be here to support you.
Do you have a date set for leaving? I strongly encourage to write down your plans and set goals for yourself so you don't backslide in your decision. I know it's hard but we will be here to support you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by dollydo
Well, if it were me,first, I'd be real upset about the crack use. And yes, addiction is addiction, porn and hard core drug use usually go hand in hand.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by hello-kitty
Good for you for choosing to take care of yourself and protecting your sanity. Life is too short to wait for a crack addict to quit smoking. Seriously too short. You will kill yourself if you try. Crack is an insidious drug and human beings can't compete with the hold it has over it's victims.
Do you have a date set for leaving? I strongly encourage to write down your plans and set goals for yourself so you don't backslide in your decision. I know it's hard but we will be here to support you.
Do you have a date set for leaving? I strongly encourage to write down your plans and set goals for yourself so you don't backslide in your decision. I know it's hard but we will be here to support you.
I do love him and this is very hard for me.I told him that I will be moving out Saturday.11/27/10
(I'll be moving in with my parents)That I cant allow myself to let my life pass me by and watch him destroy his.I told him I know me leaving you wont make you stop but I'm not leaving for you I'm leaving for MYSELF.In the pass I've lived for others unhappy.This time my heart WON'T WIN.Oh course,he doesn't want me to live he even said that he's going to show me all the way up to Saturday and on that he stop using.But I know he has to want to do it for hisself and not me.Which I dont believe he will make it threw 2nite.I thank you so very much for your support.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Kindeyes
Persistent
There are things you can do to change the way you feel. You won't be able to change him.....just you. If you could, what would you change? (remember...you can't change him...just you) What could you do differently so that you no longer feel the way you do?
gentle hugs
There are things you can do to change the way you feel. You won't be able to change him.....just you. If you could, what would you change? (remember...you can't change him...just you) What could you do differently so that you no longer feel the way you do?
gentle hugs
If I could change?What would I change?
Kindeyes,
I believe I would learn to love myself.Find out what makes me happy.It shuts the door from allowing others to have control over my heart "MY LIFE"
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by persistent
I believe I would learn to love myself.Find out what makes me happy.It shuts the door from allowing others to have control over my heart "MY LIFE"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Lunaaa
Persistent,you deserve to be happy,loved and taken care of ,being with an addict is nowhere near that,why do we settle for less when we deserve better?
I have learned,Oh my God have I learned.And it hurts me deeply.I'm dealing with fibromyalgia and major depression.He did what I havn't been able to do for myself.He brought happiness to my life.And he still does in so ways?Until I actually observed the world I was living in.Which is his world.I find myself getting more depressed and Im very lonely.Regardless to the time we do share 2gether.This is not the relationship or life I want to live.This is painful but, I wasn't created for this.
Thank You for your support
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