SweetD

im on day 40 and havent gone anywhere besides back and forth to my mothers house for dinner a couple times and once to see a lady for a mental health intake. even before i stopped drinking i wouldnt leave the house without having at least a half a pint of gin in me. i get anxious when i bump into people. i hate small talk knowing that when they ask me what i been up to, i dont have anything to say but nothing, and they stare at me and smile and wait for my to follow up with something but all i realy been doing is getting drunk and watching tv or playing video games.

i have a beautiful daughter turning 2 on the 5th (the main reason i am changing my life) who i been using as an excuse to my friends when they ask me out. not that i am afraid that i will slip or anything, i just realy dont want to see anybody but family right now and hardly them. i would rather just watch some movies with my girlfriend and a bag of sunflower seeds and play with my baby. but i feel more like a bum than ever.

the past few nights i been stepping out front once a night for a cigarette but other than that i literaly dont leave my apt. even if i did i couldnt think of anything to do, especialy sober besides walk around... and the thought of it depresses me. i know its not normal and i feel like i should be more upbeat by now. anybody else feeling like this?? i could use some suggestions for things to do while sober thats fun besides the tv and video games i been glued to. everything i can think of seems so corny.. but anything beats stumbling around drunk off my a$$ i guess.

Anna

Hi,

Do you have a job or do you work at home? Just wondered if that is an option to get out of the house and meet people.

And, here is a link of Things To Do:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Dee74

I hope you do make the effort SweetD - your life sober is what you make it

D

SweetD

no i dont work. just casualy hanging with friends stresses me out let alone dealing with random people all day. its something im hoping i will get over with therapy and maybe meds. thanks for the link anna

LaFemme

Hey sweetD and congrats on 40 days! First off, for me things didn't change as quickly as I would have liked...they are still changing and I know they will continue to evolve through the course of my life.

That said...it sounds like you have a phobia of some kind...it also sounds like you are in therapy for it? If that is the case give it some time...if you are not in therapy and I misunderstood perhaps you should look into it.

justjo

SweetD
There was a time some years ago (No Im not that old haha) when I felt just like you. I know for me it was self esteem issues, People would tell me that I was a wonderful, beautiful person but I couldnt see it. I didnt feel nice about myself at all and I couldnt leave the house without someone else coming with me.
Until, I got involved in volunteer work. I started going to THISSA (a group that helps men who have head injuries due to accidents or they were born with troubles). I just played chess or cards with them, (IM a pretty damn good card player) or makes things too. This lead me to start TAFE School again where I got a diploma in 'Community Services'.

Maybe you could do something like this, it surely helped me get my confidence back somewhat, as being with these fantastic guys sure made me feel like I had nothing to worry about.

Sometimes doing, instead of plodding can make the world of difference to us. You said, things you think about doing seem corny.... well, who gives a toss, its your life, do exactly what you would like to do.... Sometimes I even walk the old neighbours dog for them, that makes me feel good too. Its just getting motivated first off hey.. JJ

yeahgr8

Yes i felt like that "normally", to varying degrees, thats why i drank...i needed to change me...

If you are saying that before you started drinking everything was great and you were a sober social butterfly feeling a sense of belonging amongst fellow people then hopefully that will come back for you soon?! But if you were always a little awkward, felt a bit alone and unsure then you've got some work to do with a resource of your choosing...

Depends if you are an alcoholic or not...if you are no hobby, job change, gf change etc is going to make much of a marked "improvement" on you it'll just give you somemthing else to obsess over for a month or two until the novelty wears off...i would decide if you are an alcoholic and then run down and get some help asap.

jamdls

Hi Sweet, good for you on 40 days! the first year or so I was sober I really didn't leave my house either except to go to work or walk my dog, I didn't talk with anyone unless I had to and I had no family locally either, I was basically afraid of my own shadow during that time because I just didn't know who the heck I was w/o my wine. What I did do during that time was I read lots of self-help/recovery type books plus the bible, I prayed a LOT, and there was 1 person who lived on the other side of the country who had quit drinking 25 yrs prior and he and I talked on the phone almost every day. Having support from this 1 person who understoood what I was dealing with was invaluable and continues to be even though now we only talk 1-2 times a week. I'm not an AA person but that is a great place to meet/talk with someone who understand and can relate. Stay strong you and your daughter deserve for you to be there.

least

I am disabled and don't get out that much (not counting walking my dogs) but am often bored. I usually watch movies or Star Trek to pass the time, or read, or play with my dogs.

With a child so young it might be hard to get out to do volunteer work but it's worth a try. And doing something good for others might be just what you need to get 'out of your own head'.

Horselover

This is familiar to me as well. I have always hated small talk and went to great lengths to avoid being put in a situation where there was small talk. I withdrew a lot. I came to find out after I stopped drinking that my self worth was nearly zero and I was quite depressed along with it. Once I had been off alcohol for some time my depression started to lift, but believe me I still have it although now it is mostly hormonal.

Any way, depression will isolate you just like the drinking did. I would see a doctor and have a frank conversation about what you are going through and see if there is some way he/she might be able to help you from a medical standpoint. If they think you might need to be put on anti-depression pills ask a lot of questions and then don't be afraid to go forth with it. Our drinking really messes up our chemicals in our bodies and we don't always bounce right back. Just my opinion regarding this, but I do hope you will seek some serious help because you are free from the alcohol and should find ways to enjoy your freedom now.

Draciack

Hi SweetD

Lots of good suggestions here already.

Anxiety never went away for me until I did the things I was scared of like talking to people and, say, answering the door when someone knocked. I waited and waited but it seems to work backwards - I always thought I'll do this when I'm not scared, but it really goes I'll do this and then I won't be scared.

Maybe take it in increments - no need to conquer your worst fear today (though that would be an adventure ). Pick a small thing and take it one step at a time.

SweetD

thanks for the suggestions guys i have an appointment to see a therapist tomorrow afternoon. i am very nervous but i am going to tell her every little detail.. i dont care how crazy i sound lol. i have decided to walk to the appointment since its only a mile or so away from my apt. hopefully i will lose a bit of the anxiety before i get there so im not in 100% freakout mode when i arrive.