downster

Today is my 90th day sober, it was the first milestone I set myself back in August and one which i am extremely proud of!

I have used and benefitted from this site over the past 3 months and have always found other members to be both honest and very supportive.

In the spirit of being honest, I have to say that after 90 days I still feel pretty awful most of the time. It's true that I have days where the fog has lifted and optimisim replaces negative and unproductive thoughts but they are in the minority. The last week for example has been pretty tough and even after a good 8-9 hours sleep I can wake up tired and know I'm in for a tough day.

Most of the posts I read on the forums exclaim that life gets easier the longer you are into your sobriety but at 90 days I'm just not experiencing that if I'm totally honest. I have tried to follow all of the advice such as taking regular exercise, not pushing myself too hard and trying to live in balance but I'm still struggling.

After abusing alcohol for 10 years I don't expect to get better straight away and appreciate that my body has some healing to do but I just wasn't expecting it to be this tough.

Are there any other members who still felt like this at 90 days and if so how long did it take to really notice a difference on a regular basis? It would be lovely to get a few good days in a row under my belt!

Will try to stay positive!

Cheers

Downster

least

I started 'feeling more human' at around four to six months. Mind you, I am/was on antidepressants and of course they didn't help one bit while I was drinking, so my feeling better could have also been cause my meds were finally able to do their job.

If I were you, I'd see a doctor for a complete check up if you don't start feeling 'better' in a month or two. Could be a physical ailment, depression, could be a lot of things. Best to get yourself checked thoroughly by a doctor.

Congrats on your ninety days.

downster

Thanks least. If your 4-6 months is also applicable to me then I should start to see a notable difference by the end of the year. If I don't start to see an improvement by then i'll make an appointment to see my GP. If i'm honest i tend to be anti prescription drugs as I kind of believe that the body is excellent at healing itself but after this experience i'm beginning to have my doubts.

least

You're right that under a lot of circumstances the body will/can heal itself, but some conditions warrant the use of some prescription meds. I'll be on antidepressants the rest of my life... and that's ok by me as it makes my life so much more bearable. Besides, my antiD's are not addictive or mood altering so am not 'afraid' of taking them.

LaFemme

Hi downster! Congrats on the 90 days! I was also surprised how tired and foggy I was the first 90 days. I expected that stuff to sort itself out in the first 2 weeks! (Despite abusing myself for years!!!). I was grateful for my sobriety from the start but I did not feel good! I came down with every bug that I came within sneezing distance of (yes, I never got sick when I drank and smoked!) and I resented the heck out of the fact that I was finally taking care of myself and my body wasn't rejoicing (hello, it was healing!).

So, I will say, that at 3 months I was exactly where you are. I will also say that things have been clicking together in the past 2-3 weeks and I am feeling better physically every day. The better I feel physically the better I am emotionally and mentally as well. So keep the faith, it will happen for you too!

That said, seeing a Dr. isn't a bad idea, they might have some thoughts on exercise and diet to speed the process along:-)

downster

Thanks LaFemme, that really helps. I read all the posts and see other members talking about how great life is and all the wonderful things that are happening to them in their sobriety and I want a 'piece of it'.

I totally connect with what you've said. The effects of alcohol are awful as we all know but I never felt like this when drinking and I just feel I need a break now that I've got through 90 days. I feel like I deserve it.

Having a bad day as you can probably tell but I guess this is the right place 'to let off some steam'.

Cheers

Downster

artsoul

90 days is fantastic! I'm sure everyone experiences the first year a little differently, but I felt like I had my energy back at about 4 months, almost to the day....

I've heard some say that it takes a good year to really get the full effect of sobriety (and I think they've said that PAWS can last up to 2 years).

I agree that it would be worth seeing someone if things don't improve soon. There's no point in suffering (we've done enough of that already!)

CAPTAINZING2000

grats on your 90 days

Lilly03

Congrats on your 90 days!!! I'm in the 40s so I can't give you any insight, but congrats!!

Dee74

Congratulations Downster

I have to admit I was pretty miserable a lot of the time my first 6 months - both physically and mentally - but I figured I had a lot of damage to undo and repair - I used to drink all day everyday for several years.

I trusted those folks who said it would get better - and it did...hang in there
D

VeeTee

downster and all - thanks for this thread - it's very helpful. I'm doing day 18 and although I don't want to drink - I really don't - I'm not feeling very happy either. Moodswings - restlessness - bad sleep - caught a cold - spending a lot of useful time here but not enough in my serious life ... I am relieved to hear that this is part of the process.

Hope the next 30 days will lift some of the fog for you downster. Well done on 90!
vee

Itchy

Downster,
Congrats on the 90 days! WooHoo!
Thanks for posting your experiences! This Saturday it will be two months for me, and while it isn't a picnic, my worst day sober beats my best day drinking.

Were it not for posts like yours I would be terrified that I am not healing fast enough, you see this is my first attempt for real, so I don't have any relapses or experience in what happens during the recovery or the time period for feeling 100% again. However thanks to posts like yours I have enough knowledge to not give up because it doesn't happen fast enough. Physically I am much better and have been since day 15 or so. But memory stutters and feeling a bit edgy sometimes and down at others could have me worried if I didn't have all of the folks here sharing that it does take time.

Knowing that, priceless. Because knowing that it is normal and takes more time allows me to be patient for as long as it takes, and even laugh at myself along the way. I am not worried, I'll get there if it take a year or another month. This website has taken away the element of the unknown for me.

Thanks for another heads up Downster, and the roadmap.

coffeenut

First off....congrats on your sober time! And yep, I'm one that says it just keeps getting better and better.

I also believe that sobriety can't solve everything. You may need to see a doc. Some folks need anti depressents. Some folks talk to therapists. Some folks hang around SR wayyyy too much (like me) . Sobriety is a gift....it's up to you how to open it.

Again...congratulations to you!

LawMama

Congrats on 90 days and thank you for your honesty! There is sooooo much to be said for staying sober even while you are feeling not so great! I have about 4 months and have had similar feelings a lot of the time....actually for me I felt really really good for a long time but now I am EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME. I feel like I could just sleep for days. So I don't think it is abnormal. I hope it gets better for you.

Draciack

Downster Congrats on your 90 days

It takes time but that's the magic of it - every time I feel "normal," by the next month I feel much, much better.

Congrats again.

downster

Some great support thanks to all. I have a feeling today is going to be better. I've woken up and i'm not tired, I don't feel like there is a someone pressing on my temples and I'm more at piece with myself. (I really like days where I'm not talking to myself)

This is the most challenging thing about sobriety in my opinion and something which all of us have to be aware of. My experience is that the recovery process does not happen in a smooth and progressive way, it comes in 'fits and starts'. I remember feeling great after about 4 weeks which lasted for about 10 days and then had a few bad weeks, like the one i've just had (Exhaustion, negative feelings, a foggy head, needing to be by myself etc etc). You start to doubt your decision to quit and think to yourself that the effects of drinking are easier to deal with than the effects of sobriety.

It's when feeling like this that I log on to SR. I've made my decision to quit as I can't go back to a life of drinking, I just need to look at my 2 kids to remind me of that.

A good day to you all

Downster (91 days)

CatWings

I am only at 30 days of no weed and about 15 of no alochol and I am exhausted a lot of the time. I feel clearer in my head, but I just feel tired and like I don't want to push myself too much. I figure my brain is healing and recalibrating and the stuff is still leaving my body and I am not going to force myself to do more than I can right now. Staying sober is more important than trying to do too much and wonder why I don't feel as I thought I should by now. It's a pretty taxiing experience and I've read that recovery of the brain can take from 6 months to 2 years for some people. I too get some optimism and gratitude that I am still going for it and enjoying being able to focus more, but other than that, my brain just wants to shut down. It's overwhelmed from having to take everything straight, I think. It's a new kind of stress.

Kmber2010

Down - Congrats on your 90 and glad to see you posting. I also have been there and for me things improved as the months went on. I too believe that I had abused my body with alcohol for so many years that it was going to take some time for it to get back on track.

Do keep in mind that I had a full physical, etc. so there were no glaring physical issues causing this.

Keep it going!

bigguyslimm

I found this post very helpful. Today I am 30 days sober. Days 18-24 were pretty good and stress free. Then days 25 to 30 were kinda hit or miss all day. I get anxious and have trouble sleeping some nights. I feel very foggy in the head, as they say. I hope as the days go by it gets better and that I feel clear minded and relaxed.

newwings

Thanks for this post...I'm nearly 90 days too, and whilst it *has* been a life changing event for me, it's definitely had it's ups and downs.

A couple of nights ago, I was literally sobbing, telling my husband that I thought my sobriety was going to wave a magical wand filled with fairy dust over my life, that it would change all the things that have been pressing on me - grief, loss, a difficult and cold marriage, friendships, identity, etc etc. This hasn't happened of course - there's no way it could. However, I am more steady these days, my moods are more predictable and I can definitely say I feel better INSIDE. Better about being me. However, if I felt that I wasn't feeling better, I would definitely see the doc and up my support system - taking anti depressants if necessary. It's not a failure, it's a fact of life.

I would definitely see your doc if your feelings continue, particularly if those down days are internal and not caused by outside pressures. There is no shame whatsoever in having to take anti depressants to get you smiling again. Really. No one but you and your doctor need know, and it's worth a try, just for a short time, even.

Congratulations on your 90 days!