michelebelle

Here I am, day 2. I feel pretty the same as yesterday, tired depressed etc...at least I came out of bed, took a shower, breakfast, coffee.

I'm just glad that the Day 1 is over, that it stayed behind me and that hopefully it will stay farer and farer.

I have house full of geusts today. I'm not afraid so much of temptation of taking a drink, because everything about alcohol and me drinking is still disgusting, i'm just not ready to be with people, talk about some usual stuff and pretend that everything is ok, while nothing is ok.

I hope the job interview will be held tomorrow, today is too much for me.

I can't stop thinking about throwing away 8 months of sobriety and the progress I made on all levels. If I didn't relaps, now i would be 11 months sober. Relapses realy suck.

But, I have to accept it all, my alcoholism, relaps, having to be around people while i just want to be alone, to concentrate on my recovery...take a deep breath and start with baby steps...it will get easier in time.

This board and you people here are invaluable and only support and hope I have at this moment.



Michele

Dee74

Good luck today Michele. You'll find support here 24/7

D

petethebrick

You don't have to be the life and soul of the party with your guests today. Keep to yourself as much as possible if it helps! And don't be so down on yourself. It's sober time that counts. You did really great to go as long as you did. So you slipped up, no big deal, pull yourself up and try again. You may slip up again but I'm confident you'll succeed eventually as long as you don't stop trying. And try to get rid of the negativity, that's one of the main things that feeds the addiction!

Draciack

Hi Michele

Sounds like you're on your way - and maybe that's one of the good things you can take from your 8 months. You already know the lay of the land so to speak. Glad you're here.

least

Just take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. I too relapsed after getting a lot of sober time. Last December I turned my back on almost six months sober and drank - now I'm coming up on a year sober, finally, so it IS possible to stay sober. All the best to you starting over.

michelebelle

Thanks guys!!!

Having you around, reading your posts and receiving your support make it all much easier.

I know how staying sober, turns every lousy day into successful one.

Your kindness, faith and optimism is a true fuel to me.