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just a blah day

Old 11-12-2010, 11:43 AM
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Unhappy just a blah day

Not really sure what is going on, just kinda feel blah. Yes, there is the usual stuff at home, but today just feel kinda in the dumps...

just kinda feel the need to go home, get in bed and pull the covers over my head...

I am visiting my Mom tomorrow in the nursing home (you know, jail as she refers to it). and I get to hear at least 100 times, "I wish you would come more often." This from a very neglectful parent... yes, I should just get over it, but I am sooo dreading this trip. 2.5 hours to see her, stay for a bit and then 2.5 hours home feeling sh**** that she is there.



Tomorrow is another day. and day 75 sober. and that is a good thing

Thanks for listening....
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:48 AM
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Maimai, you poor thing. I'm sorry you have to go all that way, to hear complaining, and then have to come all the way home again. Sometimes getting in bed with the covers over your head is OK, especially when you have to gear up for something like that.
75 days is absolutely wonderful! I can't wait til thats me!!
Hang in there. Its only 1 day.
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:50 AM
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I hope that your blah day improves!

Honestly, if I was you, I would rethink the visit with your mother. If you are already feeling down and you are dreading the trip and the visit, is it really a good idea for you? I think that in early sobriety we need to be selfish sometimes.
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:11 PM
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Hi maimai

I think it's important to remember you obviously had good reasons for placing your mom there and that she's getting good care

I agree with Anna - if the visit is causing you this much distress beforehand, maybe you need to list out the pros and cons of going there, or at least of going tomorrow?

It's ok to put ourselves first sometimes, especially if it means not placing ourselves in a traumatic event.

If nothing else, you can always reschedule when you feel up to the task?

D
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:24 PM
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Hi Maimai, you and me are so close and it si funny, I feel like blah too. I also started looking up drinking sites today and tried to justify in my mind that I am not an alcoholic. My brain goes like so If I was overweight 240 pounds and drink 1.5l then now with me being 180 I would need only 1 bottle of wine to get drunk. so if I loose 30 more pounds, I could almost get by with half a bottle of wine in the evening. Isn't that somehting, my brain trying to argue me into taking the 1st drink..... Hang in there, next week we will laugh together
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:38 PM
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Hang in there SASA... Our minds can be tricky at times.... and so can the evils of alcohol (like the whisper of come on back... you know you are fine... )

banish the thought!!

Thanks for your reply it is always good to hear from you. And I am proud of you for saying no.



Lori
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:46 PM
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Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement..

They mean so much...

clift note version of my mom and me... She was neglectful, negative, blah blah. My dad was an alcoholic, but she has never admitted it. Since he drank away from home, he didn't have a problem.. huh?? so... we were estranged for a bit. So in my 30's She had a heart attack while on a visit, lived with me for 4 years starting when my daughter was 8 months old. She moved out right after my ex hubby came out of the closet..(sidebar: my wine consumption went up at bit at this point) *weak smile*

After that she lived on her own for 6 yrs, but was placed in a nursing home due to health issues this past Feb. I wanted her to be closer here, so I could visit more and ensure she is cared for. She gave my 2 brothers her POA, so they placed her near them (which I understand), but it makes it hard to just "pop over."

It has been a bit since I have been and my daughter really wants to go, so I have put off the visit for quite a while...

I feel better already... just knowing I gave caring people here that will listen, support and relate... really helps...

I'll let you know how it goes...





Lori
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