What I'm Dreading...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6
What I'm Dreading...
This is actually my first attempt at quitting or cutting back. I've gone 2 days without, first time in years actually.
I'm 42 and have never really had major issues with drinking, though I drink every day, after work. Not to the point of being sick but I put a limit of 6 shots, 8 for certain occasions.
Yes, I do actually measure my drinks in order "to control"... I know, i know...
I've never had legal probs, family probs or work probs related to my drinking; but I wonder if my health is being affected. I do have high blood pressure, reynauds and FMS (fibromyalgia), though I am of a healthy weight and fitness level.
So what I'm dreading.... I dont really want to talk about not drinking or explain myself to family/friends. And I know its going to come up as everyone around me drinks.
Last night I managed to get through a girl get together where I typically drink wine and I just had water. Luckily no one questioned me as I just dont want to commit verbally yet.
This is a trial run for me. How will I feel physically/mentally etc. if I dont drink? (rhetorical question)
I'm really afraid family members are going to think I'm pregnant or something if I say "no thanks". I wish I know an easy way to avoid having to discuss it. It's almost easier to take the glass of wine or fake making a drink.
Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance.
M.
I'm 42 and have never really had major issues with drinking, though I drink every day, after work. Not to the point of being sick but I put a limit of 6 shots, 8 for certain occasions.
Yes, I do actually measure my drinks in order "to control"... I know, i know...
I've never had legal probs, family probs or work probs related to my drinking; but I wonder if my health is being affected. I do have high blood pressure, reynauds and FMS (fibromyalgia), though I am of a healthy weight and fitness level.
So what I'm dreading.... I dont really want to talk about not drinking or explain myself to family/friends. And I know its going to come up as everyone around me drinks.
Last night I managed to get through a girl get together where I typically drink wine and I just had water. Luckily no one questioned me as I just dont want to commit verbally yet.
This is a trial run for me. How will I feel physically/mentally etc. if I dont drink? (rhetorical question)
I'm really afraid family members are going to think I'm pregnant or something if I say "no thanks". I wish I know an easy way to avoid having to discuss it. It's almost easier to take the glass of wine or fake making a drink.
Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance.
M.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
I have also feared that people would think I'm pregnant. I sometimes have used the excuse that I'm on medication that I can't drink with, or that I have stomach pain when drinking. Or that I'm trying to watch my diet. These may seem like laughable excuses but people don't seem to care, and in fact they're probably happy to not have me acting like a drunk. Good luck to you.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey,
I think it's great that you're taking accountability for your alcohol use. You're doing the right thing if your drinking has been a problem for you, but I guess as you can see it's not always the simplest decision to make.
For the measuring your drinking, that's not uncommon. I also measured my drinking, only in my case it was a fifth of liquor a day, no more no less. It's not that alcoholics have a complete lack of control, but that controlling less than a certain amount is problematic. And let's not kid ourselves 6-8 drinks a night is not recommended by the Surgeon General.
If drinking is something that is a problem in your life then being openly sober is going to be worth the risks. Lots of people choose to not drink. You don't owe ANYONE an explanation for why you stopped. You can cite health reasons (if you're an alcoholic that's not a lie) or you can just defer, which is something I do, if certain people ask why I don't drink I find a way to immediately change the subject.
Being sober is a great experience. It doesn't make life perfect, life is the same as it always is, but it gives a person who has problems with drinking a way to take life in at the fullest. Since I started making sobriety a habit my life hasn't been perfect, but I'm so much happier with life.
Welcome!
-Isa
I think it's great that you're taking accountability for your alcohol use. You're doing the right thing if your drinking has been a problem for you, but I guess as you can see it's not always the simplest decision to make.
For the measuring your drinking, that's not uncommon. I also measured my drinking, only in my case it was a fifth of liquor a day, no more no less. It's not that alcoholics have a complete lack of control, but that controlling less than a certain amount is problematic. And let's not kid ourselves 6-8 drinks a night is not recommended by the Surgeon General.
If drinking is something that is a problem in your life then being openly sober is going to be worth the risks. Lots of people choose to not drink. You don't owe ANYONE an explanation for why you stopped. You can cite health reasons (if you're an alcoholic that's not a lie) or you can just defer, which is something I do, if certain people ask why I don't drink I find a way to immediately change the subject.
Being sober is a great experience. It doesn't make life perfect, life is the same as it always is, but it gives a person who has problems with drinking a way to take life in at the fullest. Since I started making sobriety a habit my life hasn't been perfect, but I'm so much happier with life.
Welcome!
-Isa
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Just say "no thanks, not drinking tonight" and repeat as often as needed. If pressed, just say it a bit louder or more firmly, or say you're on a regimen to better your health - high blood pressure is a darn good reason for not drinking.
Welcome to SR!
Welcome to SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6
Thanks Stella! Those are awesome suggestions!
I could use the medication one as I'm definitely on meds for the FMS, also the diet one as everyone knows Im always militant about watching my weight.
I could use the medication one as I'm definitely on meds for the FMS, also the diet one as everyone knows Im always militant about watching my weight.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
I've been saying the truth..."I just find that I don't enjoy it much anymore and I'm cutting back." I've also said the same thing but ending with..."...so I'm trying to quit." I usually get a lot of nods in agreement when I say that!!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey,
It's okay to be new to this. For me getting sober was one of the most baffling experiences of my life. I was drinking like a maniac when I tried to get sober and even that wasn't enough to shed the light. Stick around, hang out at SR, if you can muster it up go to an AA meeting and talk to other drunks... quitting alcohol with a drinking problem is a weird, weird thing, but I hope you'll find that our common experiences are not that strange from each other.
It's okay to be new to this. For me getting sober was one of the most baffling experiences of my life. I was drinking like a maniac when I tried to get sober and even that wasn't enough to shed the light. Stick around, hang out at SR, if you can muster it up go to an AA meeting and talk to other drunks... quitting alcohol with a drinking problem is a weird, weird thing, but I hope you'll find that our common experiences are not that strange from each other.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hey MkUSmile
I basically told everyone when I quit...it was probbaly a bit exuberant, although noone reacted badly.
Most people here find that a simple 'no thanks' is enough - your business is your business, and it's up to you how much you want to share of it.
The far more important thing here is you follow through with your plan of staying sober - and you'll find a lot of support here for that
Welcome aboard!
D
I basically told everyone when I quit...it was probbaly a bit exuberant, although noone reacted badly.
Most people here find that a simple 'no thanks' is enough - your business is your business, and it's up to you how much you want to share of it.
The far more important thing here is you follow through with your plan of staying sober - and you'll find a lot of support here for that
Welcome aboard!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6
Noon!... Doom!
Okay this sucks! It's noon.... ya know, it's okay to drink after NOON.
I miss the relief of the alcohol hitting my system on an empty stomach.
I feel like I dont have something to look forward to.
Usually there is something to look forward to in the evening.
That's probably stupid, its a liquid for crying out loud.
I hope I dont start filling that void with food. Cant have a drink but hey, have some pie!
I miss the relief of the alcohol hitting my system on an empty stomach.
I feel like I dont have something to look forward to.
Usually there is something to look forward to in the evening.
That's probably stupid, its a liquid for crying out loud.
I hope I dont start filling that void with food. Cant have a drink but hey, have some pie!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Welcome MkUsmile! I lie. Simple as that. I will pretend I have alcohol in my glass. I will say I'm on medication. I will say I'm coming down with something. My new one, that is really quite true, is my body can't metabolize it the way it used to and I end up sick or with a headache.
I also want to avoid "the conversation"
I know your question was rhetorical, but I'm gonna answer it anyway. You're gonna feel anxious, cranky, tired, and crappy. You are going to second guess your decision to quit. Your alcoholic voice will tell you anything to get you to drink.
If and when these things happen, don't give in. At least make yourself wait say, half an hour. In that half an hour remind yourself of all the reasons you wanted to quit in the first place.
Glad you're here. You're among a wonderful support group!
I also want to avoid "the conversation"
I know your question was rhetorical, but I'm gonna answer it anyway. You're gonna feel anxious, cranky, tired, and crappy. You are going to second guess your decision to quit. Your alcoholic voice will tell you anything to get you to drink.
If and when these things happen, don't give in. At least make yourself wait say, half an hour. In that half an hour remind yourself of all the reasons you wanted to quit in the first place.
Glad you're here. You're among a wonderful support group!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
A lot of us find playing the tape through to the end to be a useful technique MUs...
We all can think of a drink as this wonderful thing, a reward, a relief, something to look forward to...but force yourself to fast forward through that....think of the consequences...the after effects.
There must be some negative effects or concerns for you associated with your drinking or you would'nt be here, right?
D
We all can think of a drink as this wonderful thing, a reward, a relief, something to look forward to...but force yourself to fast forward through that....think of the consequences...the after effects.
There must be some negative effects or concerns for you associated with your drinking or you would'nt be here, right?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6
"without being totally dehydrated"
I hadn't even thought of that yet... the eyedrops next to the bed to keep the dry-eye from waking me up during the night.
And playing it out to the end..... the headache, being tired... debating between taking a nap or just drinking more to help wake up. I'll actually be able to drive this evening without worrying about it.
Thanx!
I hadn't even thought of that yet... the eyedrops next to the bed to keep the dry-eye from waking me up during the night.
And playing it out to the end..... the headache, being tired... debating between taking a nap or just drinking more to help wake up. I'll actually be able to drive this evening without worrying about it.
Thanx!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
change up your routine with something different and enjoyable.
I sipped lemon tea and yes, I was dehydrated too. you may find your eyesight improving, several people commented on that.
at first when offered a drink and I declined, i used my hypertension meds as an excuse.."my doctor told me not to drink while on XYZ medication"
I sipped lemon tea and yes, I was dehydrated too. you may find your eyesight improving, several people commented on that.
at first when offered a drink and I declined, i used my hypertension meds as an excuse.."my doctor told me not to drink while on XYZ medication"
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Like you Dee I told everyone that mattered, closest friends and family, before I went into the hospital for detox what I was doing. No issues as most of them don't smoke or drink and the few that do only have one rarely two anytime I was with them.
For the rest I don't think saying I don't drink is any more embarrassing than saying I don't smoke.
If my family drank, heavy or not, I would rather tell them I stopped one on one when they weren't drinking, rather than in a drinking situation where they find out when they have a buzz on or worse. No details necessary, no shares necessary, each case different. I have found my drinking friends all say good for you. The ones with a problem leave it at that. Because if they say I wish I could quit too they are admitting to a problem and we all know how hard that is just admitting it to ourselves.
MU quitting isn't easy, that's why we're here and at meetings/counseling/the doctor's office/reading and talking with fellow alcoholics. But quitting is the only way out.
For the rest I don't think saying I don't drink is any more embarrassing than saying I don't smoke.
If my family drank, heavy or not, I would rather tell them I stopped one on one when they weren't drinking, rather than in a drinking situation where they find out when they have a buzz on or worse. No details necessary, no shares necessary, each case different. I have found my drinking friends all say good for you. The ones with a problem leave it at that. Because if they say I wish I could quit too they are admitting to a problem and we all know how hard that is just admitting it to ourselves.
MU quitting isn't easy, that's why we're here and at meetings/counseling/the doctor's office/reading and talking with fellow alcoholics. But quitting is the only way out.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I'm glad that you are aware you will feel better without alcohol in your life. I also have fibromyalgia and it improved quite a bit when I stopped drinking.
I refuse to lie when people ask me about drinking, so I say No, thanks. I think it's incredibly rude of someone to confront another person about what they're drinking or eating. I am sure that I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I am drinking or not drinking.
I refuse to lie when people ask me about drinking, so I say No, thanks. I think it's incredibly rude of someone to confront another person about what they're drinking or eating. I am sure that I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I am drinking or not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Mk! You have our support.
Lots of good info in this thread. I haven't found my abstinence to be a problem whatsoever. I sure thought it was going to be at first but it wasn't. I have shared with those close to me that I quit and why. Not hard for me since everyone was like yayyy!!!
As far as social things go....well I just drink juice or water. I just say no thanks to booze and maybe its the solid confidence that comes through or just folks knowing not to push but no one has pushed me on drinking.
I will be honest though.....I was an at home drinker and well bars/etc. really weren't my bag so I kinda have it a bit easier....lol.
I would just say nah I am good. Thanks.
Glad you are here!
Lots of good info in this thread. I haven't found my abstinence to be a problem whatsoever. I sure thought it was going to be at first but it wasn't. I have shared with those close to me that I quit and why. Not hard for me since everyone was like yayyy!!!
As far as social things go....well I just drink juice or water. I just say no thanks to booze and maybe its the solid confidence that comes through or just folks knowing not to push but no one has pushed me on drinking.
I will be honest though.....I was an at home drinker and well bars/etc. really weren't my bag so I kinda have it a bit easier....lol.
I would just say nah I am good. Thanks.
Glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Hey Mk,
You could always tell the questioner the truth and say," I'm not drinking because I don't want to slur my words like you."
Obviously, I'm joking. But you will find that other than your immediate family and best friends, nobody really cares whether you drink or not. And those who care will be happy for you. Best wishes.
You could always tell the questioner the truth and say," I'm not drinking because I don't want to slur my words like you."
Obviously, I'm joking. But you will find that other than your immediate family and best friends, nobody really cares whether you drink or not. And those who care will be happy for you. Best wishes.
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