speedypig

I have been drinking for about 20 years. I have taken a year or two off at a time off for one reason or another, but always seem to come back. I am typically a binge drinker, and then take a hangover day off. I woke up on the 8th and decided that was it, i was done drinking. Of course I had 2 beers in the fridge that needed to be dealt with, so I don't count the 8th as my sobriety date. I was noticing that my drinking was affecting my performance at work in that I would sleep in to avoid the pain of the hangover, and could not wait until the workday was over to have that first drink. It has affected my relationships in that I became disinterested in anything but the next night out with friends and drinks.

I travel for work quite a bit, so it is always easy to talk yourself into a drink or 5 after dinner with nothing else to do. Also, most of my friends are also moderate to heavy drinkers, so it is difficult to go out without the temptation. When I have tried to quit in the past, this is been my undoing because the alternative is to sit at home alone and dwell on my predicament.

For some reason, this time feels different. I have asked my close friends for their support, and have not had significant withdrawal symptoms (just sweats, nausea, and fever-like feeling). I slept well last night and my nausea has subsided. I hope this continues and my activity and interest level returns as well.

What concerns me is once I get to feeling better and more like myself, that I will decide that I was not an alcoholic. I know in my mind that I cannot just have one drink, and that, while I can go out and just have a couple, it is always a very slippery slope right down into the binge.

I have never really considered AA because I did not want to admit that I was an alcoholic, but it sounds like this would be right up my alley.

I am so glad that I found this site, and I have been reading as many of the posts as I can. I appreciate all your courage and look forward to your support.

Dee74

Hi Speedypig

Welcome to you too - I know you'll find a lot of support here.
I know that support helped make the difference for me

Feel free to start your own thread & share more of your story - you'll probably get more responses that way.

kdr143

You are in the right place!!!
Welcome!
living sober has been such a rewarding healing experience

Anna

Good for you!

I'm glad you found us and there is lots of support here.

least

I was an all-day-every-day drinker and my previous attempts to 'quit' were really attempts to drink normally, which I cannot do. For reasons I don't know or understand, my last relapse 11 months ago is still a very clear memory of how horrible I felt, physically and mentally. At first I was staying sober just being stubborn - arms folded, I WON'T DRINK!!, like a kid throwing a tantrum - but after I started feeling more human I realized that I didn't want to go back to that hell, ever.

I must be blessed cause this time I don't want to 'test the waters' again. I hope you can devise a method of dealing with this when the desire to 'just have a few' might hit you. There are lots of ways to stay sober. I started with AA, counseling, and of course this wonderful site. Now I'm happily staying sober with weekly counseling and SR and monthly meetings at my home group.

I hope you can find something that works to keep you sober.

Welcome to the best recovery site everywhere.

Draciack

SpeedyPig Welcome

Once I accepted my alcoholism, not drinking became less of struggle.

Glad you're here.

startingagain

Sounds like you're on the right track. From where I sit, admitting a problem to close friends is HUGE. I wish you the best of luck!

Itchy

Do everything you can, AA, Counseling, rational groups, here, definitely here, medical help, because if you do your evenings will be full, and then you can drop what doesn't fit you or does not work and find something else for that night or day. But give each a good try until you know each before you quit one. Sounds like you are already getting there because you are here.

Itchy

Startingagain that was so dead on! I told all of my family and my close friends, few of whom drink and the few that do are not alcoholics like I am, that I was going to go in the hospital for detox, and that I was serious about this. I got tremendous support from my two grown boys and family and friends. Most just asked how I was doing the first few weeks and then once they saw I was doing OK no issue, no feeling sorry, just life and acceptance. A couple thought I was overreacting by going to the hospital . . .you can always tell your non alcoholic friends, they haven't a clue what we have to go through just to get back to where they are.

speedypig

OK....I am on to day 4 tomorrow! I even went out to dinner with a friend that had a few beers tonight, and resisted the temptation to order one! I am starting to feel like I can do this. I am sure i'll continue to have my moments, but this victory proves that I can do it.

Dee74

congratulations speedypig
D

Kmber2010

Welcome Speedy and glad to see your update. Your doing great and I found getting support to make all the difference. SR has been an invaluable tool for me. I also do face to face support as well so add where you feel you need it.

Looking forward to the journey!!

BobGT

Congrats, speedypig,

I'm glad you are doing well. You have a cool name. An illustrative avatar would be funny.

speedypig

I knew Friday would be difficult for me, as this is usually the day I start my weekend binge. I turned down a lot of happy hour offers from friends that don't know my situation and went for a long walk/run instead. I planned ahead and went to the grocery store and cooked a bunch of things that I am not sure I could eat in a week's time. I am hoping to get sleepy soon so I can wake up and be on day 5! I just want to put more and more days between me and my past self. The weekend will be a huge challenge. I have a whole list of things to do tomorrow to try to keep me busy. Luckily, the weather will be great so I am going to try to stay outside and active as much as possible. By the way after only 4 days, I ran much more than I walked today for the first time in a long while.

Dee74

Sounds great speedypig

D

Itchy

SP, It is great to be a witness to your recovery plan and efforts! Keep hanging in there.

speedypig

OK...this is day 7!!!! I went out to dinner with my friend last night to one of my "regular" restaurants. They almost fell over when I ordered a club soda with a lime. I felt like a million dollars. I had a couple of conversations with the owner (a good friend of mine) and my server. I felt good opening up to them about what I was trying to do. I really enjoy going to that place just to be around my neighborhood friends (some drinkers and some non-drinkers), so I feel confident that I can now go back there and not feel ostracized about not drinking.

Also, I ran almost 4 miles yesterday. I have never run that far before in my life. The physical changes going on in my body are very encouraging to me. Perhaps exercise will be my new addiction. I am sleeping much better as well. I am so fortunate for all of these positive chnages as it really gives me the motivation to NOT DRINK TODAY!

I come on here several times a day and read the success stories and the challenges as well and that keeps me moving in the right direction. I have a date tonight, but have already told her that i was "cleansing" and would not be drinking, but I would not have any problem if she did. I find it good to set the expectation early on so I don't have to feel weird ordering water at dinner. Also, I trust she will "keep me honest" if I glance at the wine menu.

Again, I am so grateful to find the support of SR, and I cannot thank you all enough for sharing. I hope to continue sharing my progress in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

Dee74

Congratulations on your week speedypig

D

Itchy