martymars

Hi,
I have never done anything like this before I don't no what i'm doing so could someone please help me. I just had my 8th month anniversary Nov 6, 2010. My sponsor wants to wait a year before going through the steps with me is that normal? She says that you live the steps as while as go through them so it's no rush. She also doesn't give me advice unless I ask for it I don't get her. PLEASE HELP!

martymars

Yes I am in Alcohol Anonymous..

augustwest

meetings are important. they're great. i couldn't recover without them, but the solution to my problem is found in the steps. and to find that solution i have to work the steps. i'm at 11 months clean and am writing my 4th step. not a chance in hell i would've been willing to wait until a month from now to begin step 1. as soon as i started my step work my inner life began to shift, which led me to continue down the path.

not working steps for a year would have been very dangerous for me. i needed to change who i am on the inside, and meetings and abstinence are not gonna do that for me. it's in the steps.

keithj

I've been living the program of AA for a number of years, worked with many guys sponsoring them through the Steps.

Rarely will I say something as bluntly as telling you that your sponsor is full of crap and you should find a new one ASAP. That should eliminate all ambiguity about my feelings on this.

The 12 Steps bring about a spiritual awakening and connects us to the needed power that is the only hope of the hopeless alcoholic. It's how we in AA get recovered. There is no reason, and much potential harm, to wait for that to happen next year.

A sponsor's only function is to share with you the directions for taking the 12 Steps and having a spiritual awakening. If they are unwilling to do that, then you need to find someone who is willing. No problem, no hard feelings.

If I had the power to stay sober for a year without a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps, then I wouldn't need a sponsor or AA in the first place. Many people don't need that, as evidenced by a lot of folks here on SR. But within AA, that's our program of recovery. It's what worked for us.

Your sponsor is being irresponsible. What if I was a doctor sitting on a treatment for your fatal illness, and told you I'd be happy to give you the treatment next year if you are still alive. You'd find another doctor, right? Same deal here.

augustwest

i completely agree with keith, and love his honesty and candor.

Itchy

Marty I am at day 49 and have not selected a sponsor yet but have had several really great people give me their number and tell me to call anytime. So after hearing that sponsorship is so important I started researching for sponsorship tips and found a PDF article from AA that has helped me tremendously. Go to this link and read it, maybe it will help.
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

least

I agree. Why wait to work the steps to save your life? Cause that's what the steps are supposed to do: show you a new and better way of living. So why wait a year?? Doesn't make sense to me...

augustwest

the more i think about it the more ridiculous it becomes. almost makes me angry. it's a 12 step program where we strongly suggest that newcomers get a sponsor to guide them. what kind of sponsor suggests that you shouldn't work the steps? It's a freaking 12 step program!!! jeez....

Dee74

Welcome to SR, Marty

D

Isaiah

Definitely, definitely not normal. I've never heard of anyone waiting anything more than a day to work the steps, let alone 365 of them. To me that's just absolutely crazy; I have no idea where your sponsor is coming from but in three years of AA I have never heard anything like that.