Isaiah

Gee, not usually posting on this end of the coin, but I'm having some trouble, wondering what to do about a friend who I'm worried is having a problem.

A friend of mine who lives a ways distant to me has been posting a lot online both about her frequent (mis)use of prescription drugs and a lot of bad consequences that are coming from it. I get a strong impression she doesn't see the connection too clearly.

I feel like face-to-face I could express my concern, but without the help of body language and tone of voice, I'm not sure how I could do so from afar.

Is there a good set of rules to follow in approaching someone? Where do I start? I guess the big question is, is it wise for me to say anything at all? (I know first-hand that addicts love denial and dislike people trying to come between them and using.)

Thanks.

Freedom1990

Hi Isaiah. It's nice that you are concerned about your friend. Were you thinking of sending an email to her?

I think speaking from the heart is the best way to go. You are concerned about her drug usage. I'd suggest keeping it short and simple, and do it with no expectations on your end.

You are newly sober, yes? I was anxious to reach out help anyone I could when I was new to recovery. The problem was I couldn't give away something I didn't have yet.

Please continue to work on your own recovery. It's okay to be concerned about your friend, but don't get sidetracked in your own recovery, okay?

Isaiah

E-mail, letter or telephone, yes.

I am a week sober now but not new to recovery. Got myself into a foolish situation recently, and realized some gaps in my program by it, but I have worked all the steps and feel I have a lot of good experience no less.

I cross my heart this wont get me sidetracked. Even if I wanted to (which I don't) I couldn't wind up devoting much time to this person. But I have time I can make away from my own recovery to help if I can.

Kindeyes

Isaiah
I'm not sure there is ever a "best" way to approach a concern about someones drug or alcohol abuse. Being honest and loving and expressing concern is about all we can do. And we need to be prepared for the denial and anger that can accompany their response. But at least you would feel that you did your part. I think that when people hear it from friends and not just family members, it goes a lot further. I certainly wish that some of my son's "friends" didn't just ignore his problem or minimize it. Perhaps he would have recognized his problem much sooner. But for everytime I was expressing concern, he had a friend shoving a pipe or shot glass in his hand.

Speak from your heart.

gentle hugs

Babyblue

Tell them you are concerned and leave it at that. Also be careful you don't get wrapped up into someone else's issue or drama, even that of a close friend. It isn't your responsibility to save everyone.