What to do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
What to do?
Hi everyone....Seems I've become reliant on this site very quickly....Some smart people here
..My husband came home all messed up last night.....I was expecting that....I tried hard to ignore him.....Things didn't get loud or anything....He basically told me to move out....I told him that I don't have a job right now and he gave me $200....Not that I'm going to move RIGHT NOW.......He finally went to bed... He left me a voicemail a few minutes ago asking if I had found any money because he couldn't find it.....Do I tell him he gave it to me? or just keep it???? He doesn't remember giving it to me....wow.....
..My husband came home all messed up last night.....I was expecting that....I tried hard to ignore him.....Things didn't get loud or anything....He basically told me to move out....I told him that I don't have a job right now and he gave me $200....Not that I'm going to move RIGHT NOW.......He finally went to bed... He left me a voicemail a few minutes ago asking if I had found any money because he couldn't find it.....Do I tell him he gave it to me? or just keep it???? He doesn't remember giving it to me....wow.....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 390
Amazes me how they can be involved in the crap they are, yet think that the other person AND CHILDREN should move out? How insane is that thinking? You stick to your guns and do what you feel is best for you and your child(ren)...if that means staying in the house with them, and he leave, then so be it. Or if it means you and the kids leaving as best, then do that. None of this is easy...so I'm not implying that. I'm only just now moving forward myself.
And definitely keep the money - he gave it to you!
And definitely keep the money - he gave it to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
I have no intention of staying here, but I simply can't leave right at this moment....And yes, it is quite unbelievable that he would expect me and the kids to leave....But it is what it is....I don't think I can change things...I can't compete....I dont want to...A battle against strippers drugs and beer....I'd much rather be home with the kids.....So...I will put this money into our moving out fund....Thank you all
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Sara!
Great news about the little "deposit" into your moving out fund!! Your tactic of avoiding him for the time being is probably very much for the best. I wish you all the best luck in the world in your job interview coming up.
What a relief it will be to have that job, build up your reserve, and then have the freedom to do what YOU want to do for you and your precious kiddos.
:ghug3
Don't know where you live, but it is just cool enough around these parts for a nice popcorn and movie night.....Enjoy your time with your children this weekend!!!
Great news about the little "deposit" into your moving out fund!! Your tactic of avoiding him for the time being is probably very much for the best. I wish you all the best luck in the world in your job interview coming up.
What a relief it will be to have that job, build up your reserve, and then have the freedom to do what YOU want to do for you and your precious kiddos.
:ghug3
Don't know where you live, but it is just cool enough around these parts for a nice popcorn and movie night.....Enjoy your time with your children this weekend!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
Thank you...Monday 10 am.....New job...first step....I'm still putting of the meetings though....I really want to go, but...I'm not really one that enjoys crowds. From reading here...I see that going to meetings is about the number one piece of advice given....Who am I to not trust that? Building up the courage here...I'll do it and hope for the best..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 66
Sara, I haven't been able to attend a meeting yet either! Not that I haven't found one and have the time but something I just can't bring myself to attend yet. You seem to be making good decisions for yourself and for your children though. Good luck!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I was fortunate in that the group that I attend is very low key, and I go with my husband. Our "qualifier" as some say around here, is my A stepson. He is currently enjoying the hospitality of the county until parole sometime in February.
The group I attend was very welcoming to us and did not push a bunch of brochures and other materials on us. We were able to just sit and listen. We were asked to introduce ourselves, and first names only. It was a room filled with warm, caring, humor-filled people from all walks of life. One regular member is both a recovering alcoholic and a family member to addiction.
Just one step at a time. Do what you can do today, maybe try a meeting in the next couple of days.....
Huge hugs, HG
The group I attend was very welcoming to us and did not push a bunch of brochures and other materials on us. We were able to just sit and listen. We were asked to introduce ourselves, and first names only. It was a room filled with warm, caring, humor-filled people from all walks of life. One regular member is both a recovering alcoholic and a family member to addiction.
Just one step at a time. Do what you can do today, maybe try a meeting in the next couple of days.....
Huge hugs, HG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
Thank you...the thought of being in front of people and actually talking about things just makes me feel terrible...I know I have to, but I read the whole Melodie Beattiie book yesterday.......Funny how my whole world has changed....in just a day or two.....right now i will do just about anything to not feel so lost in this world...I have to trust that others know better than me....What else do I have????
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Meetings help me feel that I am not alone in this. I get a LOT from being here on SR and learning from the collective wisdom of so many people who have been dealing with these issues longer than I have. The face to face meetings help me really feel like that are others who are coping and surviving.
I would give you a gentle nudge toward a meeting. Without fear....there would be no need for courage.
gentle hugs
I would give you a gentle nudge toward a meeting. Without fear....there would be no need for courage.
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Sara, I hope you can get to a meeting soon, I understand the panic part I suffer from panic attacks and sometimes have to leave my groceries at the store.
Going to a face to face meeting was one of the best things I ever did.
Hugs,
Going to a face to face meeting was one of the best things I ever did.
Hugs,
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