keepinon

Cannot believe how sane, rational,spiritual and GRATEFUL she sounded. It has been exceedingly rough in her early recovery, but tonight I came from calm, strong place and we had a blast talking.Wow.
She even told me how she tells people in her IOP that their family should go to ALanon..it's helped her family so much. She actually "gets" stuff now.Hoped for this day, but never really thought I would see it. Miracles happen.

crazybabie

I can hear the excitement in your post. I am so happy for you. I am grateful you got to have a blast with her tonight

Hugs,

SaraW

I am new here...But oh so good for you...Hope all continues to go well for you..

Spiritual Seeker

Yea ! The beautiful daughter you raised is back.
Cherish this day and the many more to come.

Impurrfect

(((Keepinon))) - that is absolutely awesome! I know that my recovery from addiction and codependency, has totally changed the relationship between my dad and I...for the better. We still argue, at times, but most of the time, we're like a team. I truly respect him, and am grateful to him, for the way he handled my addiction...letting me fall must have been tremendously hard, but he loved me enough to do it.

I once told ((Chino)) that I felt the relationship between her and her RAD would be totally different than the one they'd had before...much, much better. I pray that YOUR relationship with your RAD goes the same way. It's almost like we see each other through different eyes....almost like we've been through a war, on diffent sides, then realize we're actually on the same side (if that makes sense).

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

tjp613

All that hard work is paying off, Keep. You continue to amaze me. (((Hugs!!!)))

Freedom1990

I can't tell you how much your participation in your own recovery is going to pay off, both for you, and her.

I have to admit, there is always a tinge of sadness when I read about a parent finding her/his own recovery.

I've never had that pleasure in my life.

My mother will go to her grave never having lived up to her potential, knowing who she really is, because she hinges her reality off of others.

That hurts my heart.

I'm proud of you.

newnormal4me

Happy tears for you!!!

meditation

This was a great post to read, I love to read things like this. Thanks for sharing Keep.

keepinon

Thanks everyone..she actually said that she feels sorry for people who don't have a program, that it can't be done alone. She is working Step one and reading the Big Book. She has emraced recovery in a way I didn't think she was capable of.I DO realize that this can all change in a New York minute, but to hear your kid talk about living for today, that she NEEDS her program, she needs stucture, saying insightful things that I NEVER thought she could even begin to grasp..well just goes to show that I can't predict the future and don't know everything. Who woulda thunk?

Serenity Bound

keepinon, That is so wonderful! I am so very happy for both your & your daughter. I love miracles and I do believe HP brings them about.

Hugs,
Chris

greeteachday

One of the wonderful gifts of recovery (both yours and her's) is the ability to recognize just how special and amazing having conversations like that and sharing love like that can be. It's been my experience that addiction breeds lots of guilt and shame and when our addicted loved ones do get clean, they are so grateful for the anon programs that have helped their families. They know the hurt they have caused and realize that the anon programs help the families recover as well.

I remember my daughter telling me she was so glad I was going to Naranon because "she didn't have to worry about me any more." Hugs - enjoy each precious moment.

Kindeyes

keepinon
Your post really made my day! I've followed your posts about your daughter for quite a while now and I've been witness to your fear, to your dread, to your frustration, to your pain, to your hope, and now to see this post.......it just made my day!

I'm ditching the gentle hug for a big fat BEAR hug for you!

keepinon

ooooh a BEAR HUG..that is BIG! I am going to go see her on Tue. will update when I get back!

FGB

I'm new here, and loved to see your post. Makes me so happy for you, yet gives me a little hope too. Thank you so much. FGB

gotahavfaith

It is nice when our HP gives us what we need. Very happy for you.
Miracles do happen.

Gotahavfaith

tjp613

It's interesting that she seems to have had a light-bulb-moment right about the time you "demanded" that she be more considerate and cancelled your visit. Later you stepped back while you worked through some anger that she surely sensed. Boundaries work!! Taking care of YOU works!!

keepinon

You are so right..also I decided to speak to our family therapist from her 1st rehab and decided not to listen to her life coach who felt we shouldn't be talking. I felt like we were both just digging in our heels and getting nowhere.
I hate to say it, but I went against what my sponsor advised which was basically leave her alone.Her house mother and our old therapist really felt like we needed more connection, not less. I was getting really frustrated not just w/ my daughter, but at all the "suggestions" that did not feel right. Now I am not one to say "trust your instincts" all the time because my instincts got me pretty far down a hole, my instincts tell me to DO SOMETHING alot of times when I need to DO NOTHING.
But, I do know my kid and could tell that that the longer this went on w/people in the middle, the worse it was getting. Not that everyone was completely wrong, we definately needed a break, but when it became counterproductive I had to do what I felt was right.

Kindeyes

k
You are making decisions from a much healthier position than you may have made them in the past. Just the realization that sometimes it's best just to DO NOTHING or SAY NOTHING is huge (at least it is for me). You are making decisions that are best for YOU. That is excellent!

gentle hugs (just had one bear hug.....now we're back to the gentle ones lol)