Friday night...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 76
Friday night...
...and I'm sat here on my own (the kids are out) The house is quiet and normally you all know what I would be doing...
...but I'm not!! I am drinking tea actually, hurrah!
I wish I could be happier that this was my first sober day, but I've been here countless times in the last 18 years and feel that if I haven't done it then, I won't be able to this time round. I'm not giving up though.
If there was a pill or operation I could have to stop me drinking, I would do it in a heartbeat.
My low point this week was drinking vodka before 9am to ease my hangover. How in God's name did I get to this point? I finished the Vodka and had a leftover Stella from the night before, FFS!! Stella is bad enough in the evening, but before 9am?!! Still, it slipped down nicely and I was drunk again. Silly girl. Or should I say silly, sad, lonely, f*cked up girl. Then I slept till it was time to pick up my lovely little boy from school and then bought some more alcohol.
The reason I'm telling you all this is that in about 2/3 days when I'm back to health and feeling good again, this voice will start to tell me that I don't really have a problem and that all my friends drink, so why shouldn't I? And that half a bottle of wine is ok or a couple of cheeky beers!!
I want to read this and think, 'no, I do have a problem, normal people don't drink Stella for breakfast'
I'm going to really try this time and I hope you don't mind if I wibble on here and let you know how I'm getting on. This site is full of amazing supportive people and it really helps to be on here.
...but I'm not!! I am drinking tea actually, hurrah!
I wish I could be happier that this was my first sober day, but I've been here countless times in the last 18 years and feel that if I haven't done it then, I won't be able to this time round. I'm not giving up though.
If there was a pill or operation I could have to stop me drinking, I would do it in a heartbeat.
My low point this week was drinking vodka before 9am to ease my hangover. How in God's name did I get to this point? I finished the Vodka and had a leftover Stella from the night before, FFS!! Stella is bad enough in the evening, but before 9am?!! Still, it slipped down nicely and I was drunk again. Silly girl. Or should I say silly, sad, lonely, f*cked up girl. Then I slept till it was time to pick up my lovely little boy from school and then bought some more alcohol.
The reason I'm telling you all this is that in about 2/3 days when I'm back to health and feeling good again, this voice will start to tell me that I don't really have a problem and that all my friends drink, so why shouldn't I? And that half a bottle of wine is ok or a couple of cheeky beers!!
I want to read this and think, 'no, I do have a problem, normal people don't drink Stella for breakfast'
I'm going to really try this time and I hope you don't mind if I wibble on here and let you know how I'm getting on. This site is full of amazing supportive people and it really helps to be on here.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Hiya!
The first couple of days are so hard. It's depressing to realize where you are. Hard to relax. Easy to feel hopeless and with all those toxins in your system... well no wonder you're out of sorts!
I can SO relate to the cycle of giving up.. feeling great (I always felt kind of hyper on top of it) and then drinking again.
IME it takes a blind leap of faith. A huge amount of trust (in what, I don't know) that you WILL fall in love with real life. You WILL find joy in simple things. You'll enjoy your tea. You'll be excited about a new candle you bought (that's me, today). You'll laugh unconsciously at something simple. Your face won't hurt when you smile.
The thought of drinking will come into your head and it won't appeal to you at all. Why would it when it would get in the way of your life? The life you've fallen in love with?
When the urge hits you realize it's alcohol talking. It's NOT REAL. Check out rational recovery's AVRT. A very powerful tool, IME. If I can't shush my 'alcoholic voice' immediately I tell it to shag off for a few days and I'll get back to it. Invariably the craving has passed.
btw did they change the flavor of monster munch? I hadn't had a pack in years and recently bought one. Tasted like crap. I was gutted!
The first couple of days are so hard. It's depressing to realize where you are. Hard to relax. Easy to feel hopeless and with all those toxins in your system... well no wonder you're out of sorts!
I can SO relate to the cycle of giving up.. feeling great (I always felt kind of hyper on top of it) and then drinking again.
IME it takes a blind leap of faith. A huge amount of trust (in what, I don't know) that you WILL fall in love with real life. You WILL find joy in simple things. You'll enjoy your tea. You'll be excited about a new candle you bought (that's me, today). You'll laugh unconsciously at something simple. Your face won't hurt when you smile.
The thought of drinking will come into your head and it won't appeal to you at all. Why would it when it would get in the way of your life? The life you've fallen in love with?
When the urge hits you realize it's alcohol talking. It's NOT REAL. Check out rational recovery's AVRT. A very powerful tool, IME. If I can't shush my 'alcoholic voice' immediately I tell it to shag off for a few days and I'll get back to it. Invariably the craving has passed.
btw did they change the flavor of monster munch? I hadn't had a pack in years and recently bought one. Tasted like crap. I was gutted!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Crisp, I know that little alcoholic voice so well. Actually it was talking to me a little while ago. My sister and I are spending the evening together, and I found out her new husband isn't as faithful as she may think. She WILL pull out her wine, I am 8 days sober, and hate wine, but I am a little afraid of getting into a conversation that is difficult, with out a cushion of a buzz.
We can do this. We can get through our lives, our Friday nights, and our difficult conversations. Believe in THAT, not the voice that whispers to you that tells you drinking is OK. For us, its not..
We can do this. We can get through our lives, our Friday nights, and our difficult conversations. Believe in THAT, not the voice that whispers to you that tells you drinking is OK. For us, its not..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Hi again crisp - im with you - not drinking on a Friday is quite alien but I am not struggling with it today (so far), wont we feel great tomorrow on day 2 with NO HANGOVER ON A SATURDAY!!!! Keep posting - i'll be on and off here all night for the inspiration. x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Crisp fight that stupid alcoholic voice don't let it win you deserve better as do your children. DRinking vodka and stella (not sure what that is) for breakfast isn't normal and it can kill you, it is not more powerful than you don't let it win.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Just wanted to jump on and say congrats on your sober Friday night...It wasn't that long ago that I was really in shock to be sober on a Friday night....gosh what to do with oneself?!?!? LOL...I am happy to report that like SSIL said, I am now to in love with my sober life that I won't be getting blitzed. I will be having a lovely dinner with some friends and it will be almost 100% normal for me to order an Arnold Palmer instead of a Chardonnay (or 12).
It gets better!
It gets better!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Monster Munches!!!!!!
They are my favorite! I love 'em.
Just today, you are having tea. Delicious, love it! Drink gallons of it.
Have switched to decaf in the evening though. You may have problems with sleep for a week or so anyway. Good on you!
No biggie, just today, me too. Big squishy hugs and you may have lots of cake and crisps too!!!!
:day6
Just today, you are having tea. Delicious, love it! Drink gallons of it.
Have switched to decaf in the evening though. You may have problems with sleep for a week or so anyway. Good on you!
No biggie, just today, me too. Big squishy hugs and you may have lots of cake and crisps too!!!!
:day6
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
I actually had some monster munch when I got in from work earlier - I think the pack was purple (will check later im lazing on my bed at the mo) but they were the traditional pickled onion flavour - YUMMY!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
No Debbie!!!!!
They are supposed to be a strange MSG loaded sort of flavory thing!!!
The pickled onion thing devastated me the other night!!!
I checked, the pack is purple with green on it!!! No matter!
They are supposed to be a strange MSG loaded sort of flavory thing!!!
The pickled onion thing devastated me the other night!!!
I checked, the pack is purple with green on it!!! No matter!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 76
My Monster Munch is roast beef flavour and they rock!! They are bad for me but are the least of my worries right now.
Its 8pm and I am in the 'safe zone' The danger zone is 3pm till now.
I am eating all the food in the house and comforting my dog, who is scared of the fireworks.
Hope everyone is doing ok tonight
X
Its 8pm and I am in the 'safe zone' The danger zone is 3pm till now.
I am eating all the food in the house and comforting my dog, who is scared of the fireworks.
Hope everyone is doing ok tonight
X
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
yeah, why does it always rain on bonfire night? they have a firework display on sat night here, will be taking our 3 yr old to, hope its dry, fri night just had a scorcher of a homemade curry Vindaloo style...hotter than any of them monster munches..
have a good sober friday...
have a good sober friday...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Yep bonfire night = rain! We are planning on attending one tomorrow too - band on and bar as well - I will drive but it may be a test.
Pickled onion monster munch are the best - it is a purple packet. I havent had any for years though its not a frequent snack - not as harmful as you know what though eh!
Crisp I agree - I feel safe now too - about to have dinner - then I have to pick my eldest daughter up - shock - Mum can drive at night and on a Friday!!!
I could get used to being useful!
Pickled onion monster munch are the best - it is a purple packet. I havent had any for years though its not a frequent snack - not as harmful as you know what though eh!
Crisp I agree - I feel safe now too - about to have dinner - then I have to pick my eldest daughter up - shock - Mum can drive at night and on a Friday!!!
I could get used to being useful!
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