A mans point of view..husband of alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 54
A mans point of view..husband of alcoholic
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2 I am new to posting on this site but have been reading the posts for a long time..hearing all the stories out there have always made me feel better because I knew I was not alone out there...i have been married for over twenty years to an alcoholic and cocaine user..I have two step children that are heroin addicts..I can relate to the craziness and the anger That you have been talking about..my story could fill an entire book and I don't even know where to start..I guess the worst part for me has been the humiliation of having a wife who sometimes doesn't even come home after a night of drinking ..the resentment between us has been going on for years..I've always considered myself a strong man and in spite of all the hardships in dealing with with a family riddled with alcohol cocaine and heroin addictions I'm still alive and kicking...through it all I've actually done well in the other areas of my life and have a well adjusted teenage son between us that seems to have my genes (no addictive tendencies) thank god..I have to say though there were times I felt I was being pulled into a depressive funk by all the craziness and drama I've been through..I've basically cut my two step children out of my life and am looking into moving out..my son is older now and understands..
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2 I am new to posting on this site but have been reading the posts for a long time..hearing all the stories out there have always made me feel better because I knew I was not alone out there...i have been married for over twenty years to an alcoholic and cocaine user..I have two step children that are heroin addicts..I can relate to the craziness and the anger That you have been talking about..my story could fill an entire book and I don't even know where to start..I guess the worst part for me has been the humiliation of having a wife who sometimes doesn't even come home after a night of drinking ..the resentment between us has been going on for years..I've always considered myself a strong man and in spite of all the hardships in dealing with with a family riddled with alcohol cocaine and heroin addictions I'm still alive and kicking...through it all I've actually done well in the other areas of my life and have a well adjusted teenage son between us that seems to have my genes (no addictive tendencies) thank god..I have to say though there were times I felt I was being pulled into a depressive funk by all the craziness and drama I've been through..I've basically cut my two step children out of my life and am looking into moving out..my son is older now and understands..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Welcome Midwestman. It sounds like you are moving in the direction of a safe and sane environment for yourself and your teenage son. I'm happy he has you so he can see what normal looks like.
Let us know how you are doing.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie is a great book. It helps you to recognize codependency. For me, it was a book that moved me from accepting an insane situation to knowing it was an insane situation that I needed to do something about.
Let us know how you are doing.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie is a great book. It helps you to recognize codependency. For me, it was a book that moved me from accepting an insane situation to knowing it was an insane situation that I needed to do something about.
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by Midwestman 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2 I am new to posting on this site but have been reading the posts for a long time..hearing all the stories out there have always made me feel better because I knew I was not alone out there...i have been married for over twenty years to an alcoholic and cocaine user..I have two step children that are heroin addicts..I can relate to the craziness and the anger That you have been talking about..my story could fill an entire book and I don't even know where to start..I guess the worst part for me has been the humiliation of having a wife who sometimes doesn't even come home after a night of drinking ..the resentment between us has been going on for years..I've always considered myself a strong man and in spite of all the hardships in dealing with with a family riddled with alcohol cocaine and heroin addictions I'm still alive and kicking...through it all I've actually done well in the other areas of my life and have a well adjusted teenage son between us that seems to have my genes (no addictive tendencies) thank god..I have to say though there were times I felt I was being pulled into a depressive funk by all the craziness and drama I've been through..I've basically cut my two step children out of my life and am looking into moving out..my son is older now and understands..
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2 I am new to posting on this site but have been reading the posts for a long time..hearing all the stories out there have always made me feel better because I knew I was not alone out there...i have been married for over twenty years to an alcoholic and cocaine user..I have two step children that are heroin addicts..I can relate to the craziness and the anger That you have been talking about..my story could fill an entire book and I don't even know where to start..I guess the worst part for me has been the humiliation of having a wife who sometimes doesn't even come home after a night of drinking ..the resentment between us has been going on for years..I've always considered myself a strong man and in spite of all the hardships in dealing with with a family riddled with alcohol cocaine and heroin addictions I'm still alive and kicking...through it all I've actually done well in the other areas of my life and have a well adjusted teenage son between us that seems to have my genes (no addictive tendencies) thank god..I have to say though there were times I felt I was being pulled into a depressive funk by all the craziness and drama I've been through..I've basically cut my two step children out of my life and am looking into moving out..my son is older now and understands..
Hello Midwestman, good to see another man on her, although I must say, sorry for the reason you're here.
That line about the humiliation of having a wife that doesn't even bother to come home anymore, man did that ever bring back memories. I can relate.
What a blessing that your boy is sober and "gets it" about his mom. Sounds like it's time for you two to bail outta that sinking ship.
I was court ordered to attend Alanon, which I'd never heard of, and it has been over 4 years now, and has proven to be a life saver/changer for me.
Like you, I thought I was the only man in the world to be going through what I was with my axw and little girl, Alanon helped with that too, along with SR.
I "lurked" here for over 2 years, and like to think I hold the unofficial record!
Smart of you to get away from the step children too, Alanon/SR has taught me that we can't save our loved ones. But they can sure as hell drag us down with them if we don't "leg go" of the rope.
Any way, we seem to have gathered quite a good group of men on here lately, hope you stick around and let us support you as you begin to take care of yourself, and control of your life.
Once active alcoholism was out from under my roof, things began to improve fast. Just being out of the nonstop chaos allowed me to finally relax and gain some mental clarity.
It gets better.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 255
Glad you found this site, Midwestman... but sorry for what you're going through.
I'm living with an alcoholic wife, as well, so I can relate, though my story is not as dramatic as some... just sad and pathetic.
Anyway, I hope you can find some comfort here; I certainly have.
I'm living with an alcoholic wife, as well, so I can relate, though my story is not as dramatic as some... just sad and pathetic.
Anyway, I hope you can find some comfort here; I certainly have.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR Midwest man.......but I'm sorry for the circumstances that bring us all here.
I hope that you'll stick around. Share your concerns. Share your story. We all learn from one another.
gentle hugs
I hope that you'll stick around. Share your concerns. Share your story. We all learn from one another.
gentle hugs
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
"Hello Midwestman, good to see another man on her".
Um, I MEANT to say, "good to see another man on HERE".
Man talk about a Freudian slip. Damn.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Um, I MEANT to say, "good to see another man on HERE".
Man talk about a Freudian slip. Damn.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: england
Posts: 162
Hello midwest man, geez it must be hard to have children that you have to seperate from and also your wife because they choose to live the life they live but this is defo the place to come to offload all your worrys and also gives me someone new for me to offload my worrys ha ha! 
xx
xx
Last edited by celticghirl; 11-01-2010 at 05:08 PM. Reason: typed it wrong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 24
Welcome. Husband or wife, the struggle is similar enough. I hope you find the strength soon to make a change. You deserve to be happy! Those words seem inocuous enough, but the last time someone told me that, I cried. I'm just starting to internalize that concept.
I hope you continue to post here. I look forward to reading about your progress. Good luck to you.
I hope you continue to post here. I look forward to reading about your progress. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
welcome midwestman,
Sorry for your circumstance but hope you continue to find support here. I chair the Family and Friends meeting on Sat nights at pm if you are interested to attend. We also have a chat room - it the alanoroom - for F&F members. Just post a thread and someone usually shows up to chat. Keep reading and posting. There is a lot of information and support here.
Sorry for your circumstance but hope you continue to find support here. I chair the Family and Friends meeting on Sat nights at pm if you are interested to attend. We also have a chat room - it the alanoroom - for F&F members. Just post a thread and someone usually shows up to chat. Keep reading and posting. There is a lot of information and support here.
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