New and in Pain
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16
New and in Pain
Hi all,
I'm new here. I'm having a really hard time. I have a problem with alcohol and have lost my husband because of it. I'm only 26 and already feel like my life is over. Both my grandfather and my father were alcoholics and now I am too. My father recently committed suicide and I have gone in a downward spiral ever since. Almost 2 years ago my husband left me and he is now remarried and happy. I feel like I have been abandoned once again. I'm trying to stop drinking but I only lasted 2 days before I started again. I need help but with everyone leaving me I have no one to turn to. I'm so alone and so scared. I hope someone out there knows how I feel and can help...
Emma
I'm new here. I'm having a really hard time. I have a problem with alcohol and have lost my husband because of it. I'm only 26 and already feel like my life is over. Both my grandfather and my father were alcoholics and now I am too. My father recently committed suicide and I have gone in a downward spiral ever since. Almost 2 years ago my husband left me and he is now remarried and happy. I feel like I have been abandoned once again. I'm trying to stop drinking but I only lasted 2 days before I started again. I need help but with everyone leaving me I have no one to turn to. I'm so alone and so scared. I hope someone out there knows how I feel and can help...
Emma
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Emma
the good thing about coming to SR for me was realising, finally, that I wasn't alone - there were other people with this problem and I was here with folks who understood and accepted me for who I was.
The people here gave me a lot of things - advice encourage and support, but they also helped me find hope again.
I hope we can do that for you too
Welcome to SR!
D
the good thing about coming to SR for me was realising, finally, that I wasn't alone - there were other people with this problem and I was here with folks who understood and accepted me for who I was.
The people here gave me a lot of things - advice encourage and support, but they also helped me find hope again.
I hope we can do that for you too
Welcome to SR!
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hi Emma
You have had a lot to cope with recently, and like many alcoholics here, we tend to lose those we love because of this ugly disease.
I too come from a long line of alcoholics, but this journey of sobriety is a personal one and one which i need to take responsibility for. I can't blame my family for it anymore.
You can do this, and if you feel you need extra support then perhaps you could try out AA or some counseling (with someone who understands addiction). Hang out here too, you will get a lot of support here with people that understand.
The chat rooms are a good place to go if you are feeling like some company at times.
Hang in there Emma -there is a better life out there for you - you just need to want it more than you want to drink.
You have had a lot to cope with recently, and like many alcoholics here, we tend to lose those we love because of this ugly disease.
I too come from a long line of alcoholics, but this journey of sobriety is a personal one and one which i need to take responsibility for. I can't blame my family for it anymore.
You can do this, and if you feel you need extra support then perhaps you could try out AA or some counseling (with someone who understands addiction). Hang out here too, you will get a lot of support here with people that understand.
The chat rooms are a good place to go if you are feeling like some company at times.
Hang in there Emma -there is a better life out there for you - you just need to want it more than you want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 41
Hi Emma,
Alcoholism runs in my family too, but I have finally broken the chain. Different things work for different folks, but this place is a great resource for getting support. Lots of people who are in similar circumstances have written pages of posts that have helped me on my journey. Hopefully they can help you also.
It may seem overwhelming right now, but it does get better.
8910
Alcoholism runs in my family too, but I have finally broken the chain. Different things work for different folks, but this place is a great resource for getting support. Lots of people who are in similar circumstances have written pages of posts that have helped me on my journey. Hopefully they can help you also.
It may seem overwhelming right now, but it does get better.
8910
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Bunny, welcome to SR you'll find lots of support here and people who can relate. Just the fact that you are realizing your alcohol problem at such a young age is very impressive! You're still in mourning both for your father and your marriage and as you've apparently realized alcohol doesn't make that pain any better it just adds more problems to your life. SR is a great lifeline 24/7 you don't have to be alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 218
Welcome to SR and to sobriety. You aren't alone! You have taken a good frist step by coming here.
Have you thought about getting a therapist to talk to, or AA or something like that? I also come from a family of alocholics, and AA has really helped me gain a support group that is sober. Other people have tried different things but support really helps.
Have you thought about getting a therapist to talk to, or AA or something like that? I also come from a family of alocholics, and AA has really helped me gain a support group that is sober. Other people have tried different things but support really helps.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Hi Bunny,
I am very sorry about your Dad. What a terrible experience to go through. You'll find as I have, that Alcohol will not make the pain go away. I lost my Mom and all the drinking in the world would not bring her back. The loss of a marriage is also painful. Drinking will not bring that back either. Life goes on and it's up to you to move forward. I know it's difficult but it's better than the suffering your experiencing.
Your a young woman, have your whole life in front of you. You should be very proud of yourself for taking the first step and reaching out for help. Now take the second one. Put the alcohol down and get active in your recovery. Do whatever it takes! I promise you it's worth it.
You'll find lots of support here. Many people have gone through similar situations. Your not alone. Start today Bunny. All my best to you.
I am very sorry about your Dad. What a terrible experience to go through. You'll find as I have, that Alcohol will not make the pain go away. I lost my Mom and all the drinking in the world would not bring her back. The loss of a marriage is also painful. Drinking will not bring that back either. Life goes on and it's up to you to move forward. I know it's difficult but it's better than the suffering your experiencing.
Your a young woman, have your whole life in front of you. You should be very proud of yourself for taking the first step and reaching out for help. Now take the second one. Put the alcohol down and get active in your recovery. Do whatever it takes! I promise you it's worth it.
You'll find lots of support here. Many people have gone through similar situations. Your not alone. Start today Bunny. All my best to you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Hi Emma! Welcome.
You are 26 -- you have your whole life in front of you. Things seem bleak right now, but you will be amazed at how things can change for the better once you start taking the steps to help yourself overcome alocoholism.
You realize you have a problem -- that is HUGE! That is where you need to be to begin. Now you need to get a plan together on how to stay sober and avoid alcohol at all costs.
There are many things out there that can help. Personally, I do AA. But not everyone does. It has worked for me thus far, and my life is changing for the better every single day. Without alcohol, I can deal with issues sensibly and I can improve my life in so many other ways.
I am 41, by the way. And I drank from the time I was 14. At 26, you are amazing for recognizing you have a problem. You have come here, and you will find support.
Post, read and ask questions. The chat room is also a great place to talk with other alcoholics, which helps in ways you can never imagine!
You are 26 -- you have your whole life in front of you. Things seem bleak right now, but you will be amazed at how things can change for the better once you start taking the steps to help yourself overcome alocoholism.
You realize you have a problem -- that is HUGE! That is where you need to be to begin. Now you need to get a plan together on how to stay sober and avoid alcohol at all costs.
There are many things out there that can help. Personally, I do AA. But not everyone does. It has worked for me thus far, and my life is changing for the better every single day. Without alcohol, I can deal with issues sensibly and I can improve my life in so many other ways.
I am 41, by the way. And I drank from the time I was 14. At 26, you are amazing for recognizing you have a problem. You have come here, and you will find support.
Post, read and ask questions. The chat room is also a great place to talk with other alcoholics, which helps in ways you can never imagine!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,938
Welcome to site Emma.With the support here and developing some recovery tools its possible for anyone to recover from alcohol problems. I use SMART Recovery because its the best fit with my beliefs, but there are other recovery programs that can be just as effective.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi Emma....
I think you'll find a lot of support here...and that's a great thing...it'll help for sure. You're absolutely NOT alone. There wasn't a think you typed that I couldn't personally identify with. Went through the same stuff myself.
Time, for me, didn't heal those wounds though. I had to start changing. It was hard work and I didn't really want to do it.....but it made all the difference in the world. Life, as it WAS might be over...but there's this fabulous opportunity for a completely NEW life. And from the sounds of it, a "new" life should be soundin good right about now like it did to me.
The drinking, IF you're an alcoholic, is a problem but it's probably not the root of the pain you're feeling. For a chronic alcoholic, the drinking is a symptom of a much deeper issue. It's just the outward manifestation of an internal condition. Alcoholism centers in the mind...not the bottle.
The best news though, is that there's hope. You CAN recover from what you're feeling, how you're living, and you can feel bright and cheery again. Not only is it possible, it's downright likely. It happened for me even though I was convinced it wouldn't when I got started.
If you're willing to consider it... AA is chuck full of people with tons of experience being exactly where you are - best of all though, we found a way out of it... a way past all that junk..... a path to a new way of living that just seems to WORK. I found a completely new way to live.....and the problems that used to crop up just don't anymore. And when life is enjoyable, and you're happy, joyous and free.....there just isn't a "need" to keep on drinking. I found their (AA's) "treatment" went right to the core of the problem and once that was straightened out.....the "drinking problem" took care of itself.....along with most of the rest of the "issues" (guilt, shame, low self esteem, the necessity to be in control, overboard pride and ego, etc) in my life.
Recovery is only partly about "not drinking" or "not drugging" anymore.....it's mostly about finding a way to live that you enjoy and can be happy and content with. It's out there...I promise. Don't be afraid to look for it and don't be afraid to try as many new things as you can.
I think you'll find a lot of support here...and that's a great thing...it'll help for sure. You're absolutely NOT alone. There wasn't a think you typed that I couldn't personally identify with. Went through the same stuff myself.
Time, for me, didn't heal those wounds though. I had to start changing. It was hard work and I didn't really want to do it.....but it made all the difference in the world. Life, as it WAS might be over...but there's this fabulous opportunity for a completely NEW life. And from the sounds of it, a "new" life should be soundin good right about now like it did to me.
The drinking, IF you're an alcoholic, is a problem but it's probably not the root of the pain you're feeling. For a chronic alcoholic, the drinking is a symptom of a much deeper issue. It's just the outward manifestation of an internal condition. Alcoholism centers in the mind...not the bottle.
The best news though, is that there's hope. You CAN recover from what you're feeling, how you're living, and you can feel bright and cheery again. Not only is it possible, it's downright likely. It happened for me even though I was convinced it wouldn't when I got started.
If you're willing to consider it... AA is chuck full of people with tons of experience being exactly where you are - best of all though, we found a way out of it... a way past all that junk..... a path to a new way of living that just seems to WORK. I found a completely new way to live.....and the problems that used to crop up just don't anymore. And when life is enjoyable, and you're happy, joyous and free.....there just isn't a "need" to keep on drinking. I found their (AA's) "treatment" went right to the core of the problem and once that was straightened out.....the "drinking problem" took care of itself.....along with most of the rest of the "issues" (guilt, shame, low self esteem, the necessity to be in control, overboard pride and ego, etc) in my life.
Recovery is only partly about "not drinking" or "not drugging" anymore.....it's mostly about finding a way to live that you enjoy and can be happy and content with. It's out there...I promise. Don't be afraid to look for it and don't be afraid to try as many new things as you can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: S East, Pa
Posts: 41
Hi Emma,
You are not alone. I'm glad you found Soberrecovey. There are so many people here who in one way or another understand what you are going through. Keep reading and posting here! There are many courses to recovery. Here you can find one that works for you. I use AA, and I'm not even going to suggest this is the best course for you but, I'm sure there are some meetings where you live. You mention being alone and there will be kind, nonjudgmental people at the meeting that you can talk to who understand.
You are not alone. I'm glad you found Soberrecovey. There are so many people here who in one way or another understand what you are going through. Keep reading and posting here! There are many courses to recovery. Here you can find one that works for you. I use AA, and I'm not even going to suggest this is the best course for you but, I'm sure there are some meetings where you live. You mention being alone and there will be kind, nonjudgmental people at the meeting that you can talk to who understand.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Emma, there is hope, hon.
I drank my way through a marriage too, and was divorced at 22.
I have alcoholism on both sides of my family.
AA saved my life.
I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.
I drank my way through a marriage too, and was divorced at 22.
I have alcoholism on both sides of my family.
AA saved my life.
I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.
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