puddles

Hi all!

I'm brand new to the forum and hope to stick around for awhile. Last Saturday I woke up to my third hungover day in a row and started cruising the net for addiction information. For some reason it became quite clear to me last satuday that i am not in control of alcohol and I don't drink like a normal person. I have drank since 17 and am 26 now. I pretty much binge drink like I'm still in college and desperately need to grow out of it.

I didn't drink all of last week so I'm happy about that but did drink last night which I'm not happy about. I came home and started taking shots with the housemates (there's 4 and they all drink...a lot). So back to square one. This time I have decided I should register, participate in this forum, and probably go to meetings. So...hello all!

I'm thinking about going to a meeting tomorrow and was wondering if anyone can tell me what to expect... I'm pretty nervous about going.

Also, I know that a huge trigger for me is feeling like I'm missing out on fun or feeling like I'm straight edge and boring...any thoughts on how to deal with that?

least

There are different types of meetings: closed (for alcoholics only), open (for anyone with an interest), womens, mens, young peoples, discussion, speaker, lots of different kinds. There's a link I hope someone can post about what to expect at your first meeting. Very helpful info.

Go to several different meetings before you make up your mind about them as all meetings can be different tho all carry the same message.

I also used to wonder what the hell I'd do with my now-empty 'drinking time' (which was most of the day and night). Now that I'm coming up on a year sober I find that anything I do is more enjoyable sober and there's far less chance of danger. I eliminate a lot of risk by staying sober. Also I wonder retroactively how the hell I got anything done at all while drinking cause it made me so lazy/tired/sick/apathetic.

My life is just fine now, boring at times, but way better than my drinking life was.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I don't go to meetings but others will be along who can offer advice.

The only time I felt like I was missing out on fun was when I was drinking and too far gone to enjoy what was happening. Recovery has been amazing!

LexieCat

Hi, and welcome.

Here's one of my favorite links: What to expect at your first AA meeting.

LawMama

Sounds like you are making a positive step by realizing you have a problem. Congrats!

I was worried a LOT that I would feel like I was missing out on fun (I'm 27, so pretty close to your age), and it has been a lot better than I thought. Getting involved in AA has helped me a lot because I have developed somewhat of a sober social circle, which helps since most of my friends can drink like normal people. I have about 3 months sobriety, and I still stay away from bars, clubs, and drinking parties. So yes, my social life has dwindled a bit but it is so worth it. I have a more peaceful life instead of constant chaos. Feeling healthy and stable is worth being bored sometimes!

The only thing that worked was the take it day by day. The first couple weeks I was endlessly thinking, "WTF, I'm never gonna drink AGAIN?! What about so-and-so's wedding, what about the concert in two weeks, what about all the happy hours I get invited to?!?!?!" So I try to redirect my thinking to what is going on right now and today. I find that if I keep myself busy with meetings, exercise, (fill in your non-drinking interests here), going out with drinking friends is not as tempting.

The AA book "Living Sober" helped me come up with some ideas of what to do, too. At first I cleaned a lot lol.

Good luck and welcome to SR!

Spawn

LexieCat

Incidentally, here's a quote from AA's Big Book (which you can and should buy at your first opportunity--most meetings have them, and it's only $6-7 for a hardcover copy, but here's an online version): "But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life." Recovery means we get a chance to really LIVE again. The only thing we can't do is to drink.

BB Quote 1st Ed.

GratefulTed

First off welcome to the start of recovery. For me when I was drinking I was missing out on fun and I was very boring being passed out or in a black out all the time.

Once I got sober 17 years ago I really started to enjoy life, have fun and live to my full potential. Instead of hanging out in dives I learned to scuba dive and actually got my Dive master certification after a few years. I went up in hot air balloons and went soaring in a glider for my 50th birthday a couple years ago. If I was still drinking and made it that far I would have been sitting in some dark dank bar working on a hangover. I got into photography and really enjoy capturing the beauty in the world around me. When I was drinking my lens cap was always on.

Once you get sober and get some sanity and recovery the world is your oyster and you can achieve and do things you never could imagine doing while drinking.

Get to some AA meetings, make some friends and get a sober peer group of people who like to enjoy life and have fun. You will be amazed how much fun you can have being sober and remember it the next day and not have to suffer anymore.

I wish you strength and courage to change your life. God bless!

tmbg

I can't second this enough. Went into my first meeting cold and could have used the information---especially about having the dollar handy, not to mention having the notion of a sponsor and how to handle the thoughts/feelings.

artsoul

Hi puddles, and welcome to the forum. I was really worried about my social life, being bored, watching football, special occasions, etc..... I'd be willing to bet we all felt that way at first.

For me, it was a process. At first, it was hard to do some of the things I did while drinking, so I just didn't do a lot of them (play computer games, for example). I also didn't go out much and if I had to go to a function like a wedding, I just left after eating a bit and saying hello to everyone. I had to plan things. As time went on, though, I found that I could enjoy most if not all of the things I used to, plus a great deal more. I still don't go out to bars - mainly because once people start getting looped, it's rather boring/annoying really.

Just take it one day at a time and it will work out. I was amazed at how much happier I actually was, and how much my sense of humor increased. I also started feeling good about myself - something I hadn't felt in a long time.

All the best!:ghug3