newbie with all of this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4
newbie with all of this
I am so happy that I found this site. I have been walking around for the past 5 years thinking I was losing my mind,(still not too sure I'm not).
My AH has been getting progressively worse over the past few years, we have three kids ages 14,7,and 4. i've finally come to the realization that they need me to be as stable for them as I possibly can. Which to me means not reacting to everything that my AH says or does when he's under the influence, (which is 90%of the time that he's around the house). I went to my first Al-Anon meeting Sunday evening and felt a little stronger afterwards. I just have a question for everyone, how many should you go to per week? I live in a fairly populated area where there is one almost every night that I could attend. I'm just not sure how much is too much or not enough. Thanks for listening and any input would be greatly appreciated.
My AH has been getting progressively worse over the past few years, we have three kids ages 14,7,and 4. i've finally come to the realization that they need me to be as stable for them as I possibly can. Which to me means not reacting to everything that my AH says or does when he's under the influence, (which is 90%of the time that he's around the house). I went to my first Al-Anon meeting Sunday evening and felt a little stronger afterwards. I just have a question for everyone, how many should you go to per week? I live in a fairly populated area where there is one almost every night that I could attend. I'm just not sure how much is too much or not enough. Thanks for listening and any input would be greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: mid-atlantic
Posts: 53
hi april and welcome!!!
good for you for getting to your first meeting. taking good care of you will be nothing but good for you and your children....no matter what your husband does or doesn't do.
i don't think there's any set rule about how many mtgs to go to each week.
i'm pretty new to all of this too and my sponsor gave me some guidance because i asked about it and needed the structure. i am so rule-bound, know what i mean?
she wants me to commit to 3 mtgs a week. i many times need and go to more, but 3's my minimum. i've noticed the times i've gone to less than that, like if i let 4 or 5 days go by with no mtg, i can get pretty batty. 3's pretty do-able with kids too...somehow between lunch and evening and weekend mtgs, i can find 3 to get to.
so, good luck and keep coming back!!!
good for you for getting to your first meeting. taking good care of you will be nothing but good for you and your children....no matter what your husband does or doesn't do.
i don't think there's any set rule about how many mtgs to go to each week.
i'm pretty new to all of this too and my sponsor gave me some guidance because i asked about it and needed the structure. i am so rule-bound, know what i mean?
she wants me to commit to 3 mtgs a week. i many times need and go to more, but 3's my minimum. i've noticed the times i've gone to less than that, like if i let 4 or 5 days go by with no mtg, i can get pretty batty. 3's pretty do-able with kids too...somehow between lunch and evening and weekend mtgs, i can find 3 to get to.
so, good luck and keep coming back!!!
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Welcome April;
So glad you found us...There are no rules in Al-Anon only suggestions.....
How many meetings should one do???? OH LUCKY YOU to be able to go to as many as there are days in the week....We have just one a week in our town and must travel to get to any others....
As a newcomer to Al-Anon I would suggest going to as many as you can...I came into Al-Anon at 45 yrs old so I firgue I'll still be here at 90....I have alot of unlearning to do...I know of people in the program that went to 90 meeting in 90 days (YES, in Al-Anon)
So in anwser to you personally, and because I love going to meetings (Why, because I always feel better after a meeting) I would go to as many as you can..
Love and prayers...Hope you come back and post here soon.
So glad you found us...There are no rules in Al-Anon only suggestions.....
How many meetings should one do???? OH LUCKY YOU to be able to go to as many as there are days in the week....We have just one a week in our town and must travel to get to any others....
As a newcomer to Al-Anon I would suggest going to as many as you can...I came into Al-Anon at 45 yrs old so I firgue I'll still be here at 90....I have alot of unlearning to do...I know of people in the program that went to 90 meeting in 90 days (YES, in Al-Anon)
So in anwser to you personally, and because I love going to meetings (Why, because I always feel better after a meeting) I would go to as many as you can..
Love and prayers...Hope you come back and post here soon.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
April
I want to welcome you too, and am happy for you that you made it to a meeting. It just keeps getting better - I promise.
My meeting was also only once a week, so I found support here on these boards as well as making special time to read my material, my recovery books and just taking quiet time to think about what my program is teaching me. If you haven't already read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, please try to get a copy. It is written so clearly and is all about US. It is available at theSoberRecovery bookstore here on this site, or in libraries and bookstores everywhere.
If you can get to several meetings a week, that may help you especially in the beginning, to get your feet planted in recovery.
Sending hugs and prayers
Ann
I want to welcome you too, and am happy for you that you made it to a meeting. It just keeps getting better - I promise.
My meeting was also only once a week, so I found support here on these boards as well as making special time to read my material, my recovery books and just taking quiet time to think about what my program is teaching me. If you haven't already read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, please try to get a copy. It is written so clearly and is all about US. It is available at theSoberRecovery bookstore here on this site, or in libraries and bookstores everywhere.
If you can get to several meetings a week, that may help you especially in the beginning, to get your feet planted in recovery.
Sending hugs and prayers
Ann
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
Welcome April !!!
I've been in 17 mths now and still try for 3 a wk which I
can usualy do. Its true theres no rules so go as often as you need
to. A fellow told me theres only two times when you need a meeting, when you want to and when you don't want to. Good advise to me !
The best to you and your recovery
hugs
liddy
I've been in 17 mths now and still try for 3 a wk which I
can usualy do. Its true theres no rules so go as often as you need
to. A fellow told me theres only two times when you need a meeting, when you want to and when you don't want to. Good advise to me !
The best to you and your recovery
hugs
liddy
Extremity
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: somewhere, out over that away
Posts: 183
Welcome. I hope that you can take your kids to a couple of alateen/alakid/alatot meetings also. It is a family disease so take care of what you can. You are so lucky to have so many meetings available. Do the meetings you really like and the ones you really hate. whenever you feel the need, have the thought, or find yourself unable to think or feel. Get numbers, numbers, numbers, and take it one day at a time!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. This has been one of the toughest decisions I think I've made in a very long time. I guess it took me awhile to decide that I'm worth it no matter how guilty I may feel about taking care of myself.
I will be returning here daily you have all been great. Thanks again. A
I will be returning here daily you have all been great. Thanks again. A
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