SoTiredOfIt

Hello all and I pray all of you are doing well... putting aside why we are all here.

Well, I went to lunch today with my AD. Lunch went ok pretty much until it was over.

We went to a buffet and she ate very fast and a lot of food. When we were done she went off to the ladies room. My grand daughter asked me if I'd go with her to the ladies room cause she had to potty and lo and behold my AD was in the stall vomiting!

I told her that I heard what she was doing and I was sorry she was so sick. She of course got defensive and said she wasn't doing that, that she just had a piece of ice stuck in her throat and it made her gag....I said, "yeah whatever." So, she didn't hardly speak to me the whole ride to drop her at her house.

So apparently now, she's belimic on top of the opiate addiction and being bipolar! I'm really not surprised because she's 5'9" and weighs no more than 115 and has no muscle at all and she thinks she's still fat. I'd be surprised if she didn't wear a size 3.

She's so so sick. Lordy, lordy will it ever end. I am just numb and it's getting easier and easier not to like who she has become.....but the love, protect and mother thing isn't so easy to ignore.

SlvrMag

So sorry

Wish I had some comforting words to say.

crazybabie

I am sorry your going through this as a mom, my thoughts and prayers will be with your family.

Hugs,

SoTiredOfIt

Thanks SlvrMag...there really is no comfort when your child is apparently intent on killing themself and there's not a dang thing you can do about it but watch it happen as a lot of you moms of addicts can attest too.

I have to stay close to keep an eye on my grand kids who are with her. So far she takes very good care of them so there's a very fine line here that I just can't justify crossing just yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

ZombieWife

I'm so sorry. I'm a recovering bulimic. There is a great amount of shame that comes with bulimia. A drug addiction that she cannot control likely perpetuates the negative cycle (feeds the shame). Then her low self esteem feeds the need to self-medicate. Nasty cycle.

There is recovery for bulimics. There is recovery for drug addiction. She CAN do this.

Love and light

outtolunch

I swear somone gave my daughter a punch list of disordered things to do and she hit everyone one them and peaked with heroin addiction. Self injury, eating disorders, more diagnosis than you can shake a stick at, paranoia, suicide ideation, phyc hospitalizations and rehabs galore.

She's 22 now and clean and clear headed as a whistle. She gave up cigs, too. She is expecting her first child any day now and although not married, the dad is THRILLED about becoming a father.

When I first came here, I too thought she was on a fast track to the grave.
We never know who will get it, when and if it will stick.

I am grateful for every day and tomorrow will take care of itself.

sojourner

TiredOfIt: Big mom hugs to you. Having been the daughter of an alcoholic, wife of a drug addict, and now mother of a drug/alcohol addict I can attest that being the mother of one is the hardest yet - in some ways. We know these sweet things way before they knew drugs or any other destructive behavior. We knew them when their worst behavior seems so petty to us now..... like tipping over the Christmas tree because they were horsing around with a sibling... or trying to sneak extra cookies...

The different types of destructive behaviors that your daughter has embraced is something my son has not entered into - that i know of. So all i can do is offer (((hugs))) to you. I'm glad that others are offering their own personal ESH for you.

Sojourner

Kindeyes

Sotired
You're avatar says it all............our hearts are particularly vunerable to our children. When they are self destructive, it hurts as thought our hearts are wrapped in barbed wire.

Take care of you.

gentle hugs from another Mom who understands