eastcoaster22

My live-in boyfriend of almost a year left for rehab(opiate addict) and I am a mess. I'm having a hard time with what may happen after rehab, will we still be together?, will anything change?, will they tell him he needs to work on himself? I myself don't use drugs. I love him very much and don't want to lose him. I have read many of the threads on here about relationships with addicts/recovery addicts and the relationships seem to be doomed before any recover process was started. I know each relationship is different but our relationship is very healthy and happy. Yes he does have an addiction but it was never a strain on our relationship(we never fought we always just talked about it and what he should do regarding getting clean) and finding treatment for his addiction was something I tried to help him out with (ex: telling him to go to meetings, therapy, and doctors). Finally he decided he needed to go to rehab and left right away to get treatment. I am very supportive of him and want whats best for him, he wanted to put me on his call list so we could communicate and I told him I'd love to speak with him but he needs to work on himself first and foremost and that I will be there for him when he returns no matter what. I know in my heart everything will be fine when he returns, but I just feel very alone and am not sure what to expect while he is gone/when he comes home...anyone have any comments/suggestions??


THANK YOU FOR HELPING, IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CARE

Freedom1990

Hey Eastcoaster! Relax, and get back into today. I know it's hard not to project into the future, but living in today takes a big load off your mind.

Are you attending Naranon or Alanon? Alanon is more widely available.

There you will find face-to-face support among others who understand. I know you said his addiction didn't affect the relationship, but a healthy relationship doesn't involve a partner who feels the need to chemically alter his/her mnd.

"Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is an excellent read, and one I always suggest.

The best help you can be to him is to get a program of recovery for yourself, hon.

He needs to work his own program of recovery.

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR Eastcoaster........as always though.....I am sorry for the reason that you are here.

It's good news that your BF is in recovery and went in of his own accord. Very good news.

When my son went into inpatient treatment, I began my journey toward my own recovery. The best way that we can support our addicted loved one is by making sure that we (ourselves) are truly healthy as well. Reading books on addiction and recovery as Freedom suggested is very helpful. Attending Naranon or Alanon meetings is also very helpful. It's important that we focus on ourselves and take one day at a time.

Again, welcome to SR. I hope you find the support and guidance you need here.

gentle hugs

keepinon

Yup.what they said..get into recovery...whether you stay with him or not it's your best option.