rehab for us??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
rehab for us??
is there such a thing? if not, there ought to be and insurance should pay for it!! as with all of you, its been a very hard road for me since dec. (and before that) and I am fighting big time to get through this. But Im ready to break.
Im at work, divorce papers just arrived by county personnel..was that necessary!!!!! and I have a huge pile of forms that need to be filled out by me. then I call my home messages and get a message from blockbluster stating he needs to return 5 movies they all just rented last week!!!
%^%$&^%%!!! so I need to work, pay the bills, go to meetings, go to counseling, help my niece with college, do the chores, go treat or treating with my tenants, buy candy (my mind is racing again) fill out forms, write a history report for court..etc.etc.etc..!!
I want to go to rehab, get counseling, get fed, watch tv, sleep, medicate as needed..just forget everything for awhile..but no, I need to be strong, I need to keep going, I need to fight fight fight..
whewwww..sorry just needed to vent, I will take a deep breathe...stop projecting and rest!! I need rest...just thinking what about us!
Im at work, divorce papers just arrived by county personnel..was that necessary!!!!! and I have a huge pile of forms that need to be filled out by me. then I call my home messages and get a message from blockbluster stating he needs to return 5 movies they all just rented last week!!!
%^%$&^%%!!! so I need to work, pay the bills, go to meetings, go to counseling, help my niece with college, do the chores, go treat or treating with my tenants, buy candy (my mind is racing again) fill out forms, write a history report for court..etc.etc.etc..!!
I want to go to rehab, get counseling, get fed, watch tv, sleep, medicate as needed..just forget everything for awhile..but no, I need to be strong, I need to keep going, I need to fight fight fight..
whewwww..sorry just needed to vent, I will take a deep breathe...stop projecting and rest!! I need rest...just thinking what about us!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
when i was at my nadir this summer, i thought the same thing. i have a problem and it would be nice to just have an air-conditioned room, food brought to me, tv, books, lots of sleep, no responsibilities. just for a day or two even.
and now that i sort of have that because she has not contacted me in a week, i still want to put myself back into the situation by going out there and finding her.
you'll get your peace soon tam.
and now that i sort of have that because she has not contacted me in a week, i still want to put myself back into the situation by going out there and finding her.
you'll get your peace soon tam.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by tam 
I need to work, pay the bills, go to meetings, go to counseling, help my niece with college, do the chores, go treat or treating with my tenants, buy candy (my mind is racing again) fill out forms, write a history report for court..etc.etc.etc..!!
You do not need to do most of this.
Most insurance pays for counseling that can include teaching the tools of setting priorities and a plan of action. Accepting that we are not everyone's only alternative is a part of our own recovery.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
tam
Although we don't have an inpatient system the way an addict does, we do have alternative resources. Meetings, therapy, SR, and friends.......consider it like outpatient treatment....lol
Breathe and take some time just for you to do what you want to do! It really does help!
gentle hugs
Although we don't have an inpatient system the way an addict does, we do have alternative resources. Meetings, therapy, SR, and friends.......consider it like outpatient treatment....lol
Breathe and take some time just for you to do what you want to do! It really does help!
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
rehab at home:
take a few days off work.
stock frig with yogurts and microwave healthy choice etc dinners, order delivery meals.
hang on sr
take long baths
read alot
cruise the internet
hangout at SR
go to a counseling session
nap daily
ignore the phone
watch comedies
journal
stay in your pajamas
take a few days off work.
stock frig with yogurts and microwave healthy choice etc dinners, order delivery meals.
hang on sr
take long baths
read alot
cruise the internet
hangout at SR
go to a counseling session
nap daily
ignore the phone
watch comedies
journal
stay in your pajamas
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,064
Rehab is not a spa at least the one I went to. There are probably lots of places that one can pay lots of money to and do nothing but I think that's called a vacation. Let me sort of give you the details of what rehab is like.
It took me a solid month to get myself into a rehab and that is wanting to walk in and get help. The evaluations and paperwork. I waded thru.
Once there rehab involved me sitting in a room, giving blood, urine, doing a 600 questionaire on my personality and whatnot almost identical to the paperwork I did before I went. I arrived too late for dinner so I went to bed hungry. I walked in clean of drugs but every hour a nurse and aide walked in and took my bp and checked my level of consciouness. I really wanted sleep.
Meetings started up at 600. Then breakfast. More meetings, lots of step work, homework, and physical education. Meet with doctors, go to medication line.Then lunch. More meetings, grab a van to the other building for a meeting with the peer support, come back, meet with the spiritual leader, another group meeting, people spilling untold pain, horrors of childhood abuse, people beaten , sexually abused, arghhh no more pain. Then a meeting with a group to discuss my pain.
Dinner. Grab a van to a step meeting, come back clean the kitchen, or some assigned chore, like laundry room, empty trash, line up for meds. The first week not allowed to call home or have phone calls to myself.
This rehab in particular did not allow cell phones, radios, books, ipods, cars. The only books allowed to be read were the bible and the AA book. A common TV was on in a room that was open only for an hour in the evening.
I really wanted help but this sort of control over my life seemed a bit excessive. I felt stifled and miserable some of the time, in great emotional pain, and I felt punished and locked up. For myself this rehab was a good tool because I value my freedom and making decisions for myself and I won't ever let anyone take my freedom away. I learned about myself but I surely could have done this from my house going to visit a therapist. Maybe there are places where one can go to meditate or ponder life and be taken care of in a hotel setting. But this rehab was not that. I went to bed exhausted, had not time to mediate or ponder anything. I rarely even was given time to work on the massive paperwork I was given. It's not a picnic or a vacation.
At least where you are at now you have control over somethings. I think the answer lies in a balance of doing things that you have to do and maybe treating yourself kindly in all this, a bit of pampering and also doing the work of recovery cause recovery is work, it's not easy , it's not fun. Just be kind to yourself thru this.
It took me a solid month to get myself into a rehab and that is wanting to walk in and get help. The evaluations and paperwork. I waded thru.
Once there rehab involved me sitting in a room, giving blood, urine, doing a 600 questionaire on my personality and whatnot almost identical to the paperwork I did before I went. I arrived too late for dinner so I went to bed hungry. I walked in clean of drugs but every hour a nurse and aide walked in and took my bp and checked my level of consciouness. I really wanted sleep.
Meetings started up at 600. Then breakfast. More meetings, lots of step work, homework, and physical education. Meet with doctors, go to medication line.Then lunch. More meetings, grab a van to the other building for a meeting with the peer support, come back, meet with the spiritual leader, another group meeting, people spilling untold pain, horrors of childhood abuse, people beaten , sexually abused, arghhh no more pain. Then a meeting with a group to discuss my pain.
Dinner. Grab a van to a step meeting, come back clean the kitchen, or some assigned chore, like laundry room, empty trash, line up for meds. The first week not allowed to call home or have phone calls to myself.
This rehab in particular did not allow cell phones, radios, books, ipods, cars. The only books allowed to be read were the bible and the AA book. A common TV was on in a room that was open only for an hour in the evening.
I really wanted help but this sort of control over my life seemed a bit excessive. I felt stifled and miserable some of the time, in great emotional pain, and I felt punished and locked up. For myself this rehab was a good tool because I value my freedom and making decisions for myself and I won't ever let anyone take my freedom away. I learned about myself but I surely could have done this from my house going to visit a therapist. Maybe there are places where one can go to meditate or ponder life and be taken care of in a hotel setting. But this rehab was not that. I went to bed exhausted, had not time to mediate or ponder anything. I rarely even was given time to work on the massive paperwork I was given. It's not a picnic or a vacation.
At least where you are at now you have control over somethings. I think the answer lies in a balance of doing things that you have to do and maybe treating yourself kindly in all this, a bit of pampering and also doing the work of recovery cause recovery is work, it's not easy , it's not fun. Just be kind to yourself thru this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
my husband is bipolar, I know first hand rehab isnt easy. Im very sorry if I offended anyone. I truly didnt mean to. I was thinking more on terms of a getaway rehab, or to be honest I dont know what I think sometimes. I respect and have compassion for mentall illness, was always there for my husband.
I also know he is suffering as well, he is in pain, he is very ill. no matter what I feel for him. its just I got upset myself,at least it didnt last long and I didnt react, so thats a good sign. thank you all for this forum.
my coworkers just got me through, I just needed to take a step back and not think about the situation today anymore or even tomorrow or the next day,when Im ready.
I also know he is suffering as well, he is in pain, he is very ill. no matter what I feel for him. its just I got upset myself,at least it didnt last long and I didnt react, so thats a good sign. thank you all for this forum.
my coworkers just got me through, I just needed to take a step back and not think about the situation today anymore or even tomorrow or the next day,when Im ready.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Thanks for your post Meditation.
I know rehab isn't easy. I was an inpatient for depression, at a public facility no less so yeah, it was a scary nightmare.
I felt like a hamster stuck in a wheel I couldnt stop running in. It was awful.
I know rehab isn't easy. I was an inpatient for depression, at a public facility no less so yeah, it was a scary nightmare.
I felt like a hamster stuck in a wheel I couldnt stop running in. It was awful.
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
no offense here! LOL
I do believe in my home rehab days!!! (weeks!)
and I know what you mean...when do we get time to focus on ourselves and our problems....we don't get to set life aside while we do that as those who are in formal programs do.
I just don't like being locked up and told that I can smoke a cigarette for this 10 minutes...or not at all and put on the patch.
LOL
I do believe in my home rehab days!!! (weeks!)
and I know what you mean...when do we get time to focus on ourselves and our problems....we don't get to set life aside while we do that as those who are in formal programs do.
I just don't like being locked up and told that I can smoke a cigarette for this 10 minutes...or not at all and put on the patch.
LOL
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
i understood that this thread started more as a calgon take me away kind of thing, but what meditation brought up is true for us and them. i checked myself in once for depression a couple years back (guess who i was dating just before that) and i was put i a large waiting room for hours and hours with no one ever even seeing me. it was at a public hospital and it felt like it was all assemly line bunk. by the time someone did come to see me, i was more depressed just from being there and i said- i'm good, see ya.
my addict went into a detox at a hospital. it was a cold impersonal institutional thing and she bailed. she tried the crises center at two hospitals. the first time she waited 26 hrs until they gave her a room. all they did was give her sleeping meds. the room they gave her was in the psych ward which was like something out of horror book. she goes in for depression and withdraw and she is put in a place where other patients wit hserious mental issues can walk in and out of her room at any time. it was dirty and impersonal. she wanted to leave and i couldnt blame her on this one. the other was a little better, but certainly no picnic. the problem she had was the same as what some of you said about lossing all personal freedom. one addict told me she felt better in jail than in the crises center!
i guess to an extent, if someone wants ot get better they will endure anything, but i really think the approach given is all wrong at these types of facilities. i wish i could becoem a philanthropist and try something different. something that would make the addict feel they wanted to stay. but i am probably being naive here.
my addict went into a detox at a hospital. it was a cold impersonal institutional thing and she bailed. she tried the crises center at two hospitals. the first time she waited 26 hrs until they gave her a room. all they did was give her sleeping meds. the room they gave her was in the psych ward which was like something out of horror book. she goes in for depression and withdraw and she is put in a place where other patients wit hserious mental issues can walk in and out of her room at any time. it was dirty and impersonal. she wanted to leave and i couldnt blame her on this one. the other was a little better, but certainly no picnic. the problem she had was the same as what some of you said about lossing all personal freedom. one addict told me she felt better in jail than in the crises center!
i guess to an extent, if someone wants ot get better they will endure anything, but i really think the approach given is all wrong at these types of facilities. i wish i could becoem a philanthropist and try something different. something that would make the addict feel they wanted to stay. but i am probably being naive here.
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
wait a minute, Steve....she lives on the street at times.
and there are posh inpatient facilities, if one can afford them. My first inpatitent was rather nice (I had insurance.)
I do have what is considered a serious mental illness, but I am not contagious.
and there are posh inpatient facilities, if one can afford them. My first inpatitent was rather nice (I had insurance.)
I do have what is considered a serious mental illness, but I am not contagious.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
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I totally agree with you Live, after being on the streets the rehabs and hospitals can not be as bad, I also have a DX of Bipolar mixed and am well aware of what being admitted means...
I have an illness that can be treated but not cured...
I have an illness that can be treated but not cured...
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
what i meant by serious was that this one young guy would pop into her room, remember there is little supervision in this place, and start going off about something and start getting agitated and turn aggressive. i am able to handle myself jsut fine, but he had me a little worried. if he acted out in the hall area they would just passivly say something to him and let him be, even when he would try to tear things off the wall. i would have thought that for the physical safety of others ther would be some separation if someone seemed violent.
that came out wrong when i said serious issues.
that came out wrong when i said serious issues.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,064
Tam, you did not offend me. And I would be sad if I thought I offended you. I did not give you the details to make you feel bad. You need support and some self care right now, you don't need locked up with tight controls. I think I read about an ashram a place people go for a huge sum of money to mediate and get spiritual and some pampering of the body and soul. Now that sounds like a place to recover.
I dream of being on a beach on bad days when things get overwhelming. I visually feel the sun, the wind, hear the surf, and it helps me. Being on a beach however would even be better lol but you know you work with what you have and where you are at the time. Now's the time to find your favorite relaxing music, run a nice hot bath, maybe get a massage, maybe even indulge in some minor retail therapy, get some candles and lock the door. Hugs for what you're enduring and living with, it will pass eventually.
I dream of being on a beach on bad days when things get overwhelming. I visually feel the sun, the wind, hear the surf, and it helps me. Being on a beach however would even be better lol but you know you work with what you have and where you are at the time. Now's the time to find your favorite relaxing music, run a nice hot bath, maybe get a massage, maybe even indulge in some minor retail therapy, get some candles and lock the door. Hugs for what you're enduring and living with, it will pass eventually.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Griffin GA
Posts: 454
best as i can tell life is no picnic on either side of this ride - but i sure understand the feeling of wanting to have someone take care of me and all the other thousands of details for a while so that i can just take a breath - tam, i hope you can find some time for rest -
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
I feel like running away, where the heck to, I have no clue! Im tired, thats the bottom line. tired. I thought I would get a break for awhile from the drama of addiction, I was doing very well. was finally taking care of ME, working on ME, was feeling very good and proud of myself.what's the rush with divorce? doesnt anyone see what I have been through, that I need to heal? it just doesnt stop. I have to respond in certain amount of days?? when and how will I find the time, never mind the strength. Im just getting over the seperation, been living with addiction as well, have my own health as well, what about us? Im tired of poor you with your illness, what about me? but this will pass, like every other feeling or problem I endured, this will pass and the anger will pass much sooner than it ever did before as I have changed.
I know today just triggered feelings all over again, anger. anger that I didnt prevent this from happening, anger that they had the papers delivered to my work , anger that he didnt fill the papers out,the young girl did,(wow 2 pages!!! I have to fill out 15!) anger..thats what it is. anger and Im tired.
so I came home and fed the dogs and did some floor exercises..I will continue on I have to.."you can knock me down all you want, but remember I will get up"...and I will, I know it will be okay, I trust my HP, thats what has gotten me this far.
thank you all again..tomorrow is another day, hey maybe I will win the lottery tonight (I finally played) LOL
I know today just triggered feelings all over again, anger. anger that I didnt prevent this from happening, anger that they had the papers delivered to my work , anger that he didnt fill the papers out,the young girl did,(wow 2 pages!!! I have to fill out 15!) anger..thats what it is. anger and Im tired.
so I came home and fed the dogs and did some floor exercises..I will continue on I have to.."you can knock me down all you want, but remember I will get up"...and I will, I know it will be okay, I trust my HP, thats what has gotten me this far.
thank you all again..tomorrow is another day, hey maybe I will win the lottery tonight (I finally played) LOL
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
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My friend once said she feels like one of those old Bozo bow up toys where you punch it and it keeps popping back up.I've been ther too, Tam. I am sending you good vibes and hoping you have a REALLY good nights sleep.You are right this too will pass and at the end you will FREE!!!!!
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