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Binge Drinker

Old 10-24-2010, 10:58 PM
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xvg
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Binge Drinker

Hello everyone,

I'm 26 years old and have a habit of binge drinking. I'm probably over reacting a bit, but I've decided to cool down on the going out and partying thing. I've been doing this for 8 years and it's time to grow up and move on.

I have a whole social circle of friends that all we do is go out and drink every weekend. We don't ask what we are doing on Thursday-Saturday, we ask "where are we getting trashed tonight?" Sadly, I am probably the least involved member of this group of "friends." It's scary how hard we can all go and scary that there's a whole group of people doing the same exact thing. It will be going out and getting trashed, waking up on Sunday, going to the bar and getting hammered again on Sunday morning mimosa specials and bloody marys. I can't keep up with them as much, but when i do go out, I am probably one of the drunkest.

Anyways, I think it's time to stop because it's become a habit, even if only a weekend habit. I drink as quickly as possible and end up doing stupid things and acting like an *******. I'm blessed to get along with women well, but that's actually become a curse with this binge drinking thing. Now days, I'm waking up on weekends with a sense of dread, terrible hangovers and trying to put the pieces together. Mostly it's just involved me looking like an idiot, but I also recently took home a married woman while under the influence. I feel like complete **** and have completely gotten away from the morals and principals my parents raised me with.

I stopped going out with all my friends for a while a few months ago and it felt great. I took a few injuries, had to stop working out and got back to my old place of getting sloshed every weekend. It's time to get back on the horse. It's time to start going to church on Sunday mornings. It's time to stop spending $600+ a month on bar tabs.

I feel a little guilty maybe coming in here because I really haven't suffered any consequences yet. No cravings, no DUIs, injuries, accidents or anything other than putting myself in potentially dangerous situations. Big groups of people + alcohol + me being trashed is a recipe for disaster and it's just asking for something bad to happen. But I'm glad to know that I've recognized where this can go and have made a conscious decision to stop. There's no question that I'll stop.

So starting right now, I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to wake up earlier on the weekends and do all my socializing earlier in the day and have productive nights. I'm not going to burn any bridges, but I'm going to step back from it all and do my own thing for a while. I'll get **** from my friends like i did last time and i'll spend more time alone, which sucks, but that's just what it's going to be until I build a new circle of non-party animals. I don't want to try to be high and mighty or anything, but I think it's time to alter my path just a tad.

Anyways, sorry to talk about myself so much, but it felt good to let it all out.
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Old 10-24-2010, 11:24 PM
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Hi xvg

Welcome to SR

I think it's great you're here and thinking about your drinking before you had those consequences - I bet most of us wish we'd had your sense - I know I do

I was caught up in a social scene too - I didn't manage to break away until I was much older than you, but it was the best thing I ever did.

I finally realised it didn't matter what anyone else was doing - I knew I was doing myself harm.

You'll find a lot of support and a lot of ideas here, xvg.

Hope to see you around some more
D
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Old 10-25-2010, 12:53 AM
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All my friends were also drinkers when I was.
Who else would put up with a sloppy drunk?
Bingo....other drunks....

Sure you have suffered consequences. Spending too much
money.....limiting yourself socially.....having sex with people
you care nothing about....having blackouts......and most of all......
compromiseing your core values .

Alcohol damages so many things ...it's a liquid liar
promises you the stars....delivers black holes..

Glad to know you are taking a good look about how to
enjoy a productive ...healthy....sober future.
Welcome to our recovery community....
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:42 AM
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I don't think one has to burn bridges, just stop going to bars.

Way I see it, if your friends start giving you #### for not going to the bar, you have just as much right to give them #### if they don't meet you for coffee or whatever. Actually, you have more right to give it to them because it hurts them far less if you're not boozing than it hurts you if you are.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:42 AM
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Welcome to the best recovery site everywhere. Glad you've decided to get your life in order at such a young age. Glad too that in giving up the binging you're giving up the risk that comes from it. Good for you!
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Old 10-25-2010, 05:02 AM
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Your post reads like the first 8 years of my drinking--party, party, party. The difference being I didn't look at the consequences of my drinking like you are doing right now. Fast forward twenty-eight years and I'm sober for the first time since I was 26. So no, I don't think you are over reacting...you are reacting to a problem. Something I wish I had done when I was your age. Good luck.
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Old 10-25-2010, 08:37 AM
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xvg
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Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone.

I'm glad to hear you don't think I'm crazy. I still feel invincible and like I could never become a full blown alcoholic but whenever something starts causing problems, it's time to change it. And plus that's probably how everyone feels at first.

So told my friends that I'm going to step back from it all. Will not abandon anyone completely, but just can't do it any more like this. I really hope this doesn't mess up my roommate who I've been best friends with since grade school. He's in a slightly worse place than I am right now in this whole situation.

And that's a great point about there already actually having been consequences. You're absolutely right. It's so easy to laugh off things like spending money, acting like an idiot, etc. And I also never thought about who would put up with sloppy drunks. That's a great point. It all feels like a big joke, party time haha everyone wasn't that funny, let's send each other funny pictures on Monday.
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:10 AM
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****{xvg}}} glad u found SR!
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:17 AM
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Talk is cheap. I would post one of these threads when I was 26 but come sunday I wouldn't go to church, come friday I wouldn't go out but It would suck. I had to replace the booze with Spiritualness. Bible study groups AA. For me just stopping didn't stop anything and I went back out and drank.
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:41 AM
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Xvg, I think some people just change with age and go on to remember their "party days." Some people progress into full-blown alcoholics. There's no litmus test to know where you're going to end up.

I give the same advice to everyone who is unsure about how serious their alcohol use is. If it causes you trouble, and you have a problem using without all the trouble, then you ought to seriously ask yourself how important alcohol really is in your life. How would life be without it?

I've heard through AA a few times, people comparing it to finding out that you have to live the rest of your life without brussel sprouts. Would that be stressful? Would you try to find a way around it? It's kind of a hokey example but I think it makes a point. Is that one thing (alcohol) so important to the quality of your life that you'd suffer without it?
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Old 10-25-2010, 12:21 PM
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I know alot of my drinking was to recapture the old days. In college, then it was a mourning period of my youth. Glad you are atleast starting the process of realizing that there is a problem. Took me 3 years of fighting it until I surrendered that is because it took away everything I had.
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:10 PM
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xvg
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You're right, talk is cheap. There is no chemical need for alcohol and I've stopped before and felt great doing so. This time around, though, it feels different because I have consciously realized the problems this party mentality has caused me.

I know some people would say "no man, you're just young and single, you need to get this out of your system." But it's just not a lifestyle that brings any fulfillment. I feel like a completely different person when I go two weeks without hitting the bars with everyone and drinking to excess.

I've met so many girls this past year, but they've all been bar girls with various problems. I would rather meet one new girl every year at Starbucks than two new girls every weekend that have deep rooted issues. Do I want to date a girl who knows the bartenders and likes to "have fun"? Hell no! I would rather be just some normal single unknown guy at the gym with his headphones on than some kind of "cool" playboy who can brag about the hotties he has on his arm every other weekend.

So even if it isn't technically "alcoholism," it doesn't matter. It still causes problems and it doesn't get me to a good place. Do I need alcohol to function and have a great time? Hell no! I feel so much better waking up early on a Saturday morning, going to the gym and then enjoying the rest of a beautiful day. Why did I keep returning to it for so long? Because it's a mental thing. It was just what I did. No good reason to keep it up just because it has not caused any significant problems yet.

It feels great to come on here and make this declaration. I'll post an update in a week or two and tell you how much of an improvement my life has taken. Thank you all so much for listening to me come on here and talk about myself.
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:14 PM
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OK, I know folks are busy, but there's no need to wait a week or two xvg - I found using this place daily helped me enormously...I think support is vital in all of this - noone does this alone.

D
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:38 PM
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People say things for different reasons, the older people would say "You are young you need to get it out of your system" because they were older and married. Then people my same age would say stuff because they didn't want to loose their drinking buddy. If you are in enough pain to post on this site, you should think about just finding AA or a different group to go with. I know what partying is about. I was a wild man, but soon I was 26-27-28 and I was hanging out with younger guys because guys my age were working and growing up. There is nothing WRONG with partying hard when you are 28...but there is something wrong if you are in pain and you keep on doing the same things over and over.
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:40 PM
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Oh and you should probably start looking at dance classes, book studies, bible studies, to find non-party girls. It's all hard work I know, but the girls that are always drunk at a bar are ok, but if you do happen to land one, plan on being a babysitter and having them run around on you. Haha just the way the world is.
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:42 PM
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Girls and Guys who are drunk all the time at the bar feed their instincts short term. They drink they feel good, they have sex they feel good, they do drugs to feel good. Instant gratification. So if you hear a guy or girl go "man I had a rough week, shots shots shots" I take that as they would rather go for the short term answer than fixing the problem. Guy/Girls that party alot are fine as long as you know what you are getting into. I was involve with enough party girls that if they cheated on me well, I know thats what they do, they feed that instinct to feel good.
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:37 PM
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Welcome, xvg! I think you're really wise to stop now before something happens.... I cringe when I think of the times I could have had consequences (DUI, a one-night stand with someone who had a disease, getting injured from an accident, getting fired from a job, or whatever). I never had any serious things happen to me either, but it kept me from fulfilling my potential (mentally, emotionally, spiritually and probably even health-wise). It really is toxic in so many ways.

Hope you hang around and keep reading and posting. There are people here of all ages and experience with the same common goal - to support each other in sobriety. We're a pretty cool bunch (wink, wink!).
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