BiggestScrewUp

Hi guys. Been doing really really well until tonight. Finding it very hard tonight because I'm feeling so depressed. Not for any particular reason. Just things that don't normally drag me down at all are really bugging me and making me feel awful. I feel guilty and shameful and downright terrible in general.

It's using ALL my self control not to go to the offie and glug a bottle of something powerful. It's been 28 days since my last drink.

Help guys. I feel really horrible and worthless today. Need a hand!

least

Bear in mind... there is nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse. And if you drink today, you'll feel horrible and worthless tomorrow too... please don't sabotage yourself, you're worth more than that.

BiggestScrewUp

Thanks Least.

sobermax

I hear you!

You've got 28 days on me (day one again) so congratulations to you! Hang on to it.

Lilly03

I think you need to sit with this for a while, and find out what is really bringing you down. Just remember if you drink, you're not going to deal with it, it's just going to keep dragging on. If you work through this next time you're feeling depressed and down you'll be better prepared to deal with it. Hang in there.

Hollyanne

For the love of all that you hold dear, fight that urge! Just relapsed after day 28 on Wed! Do not allow the conversation in your head. Change channels! BAD IDEA*****

BiggestScrewUp

thanks guys. feeling loved.

Dee74

Hey BSU
I was wondering how you've been going

Yeah this recovery thing isn't always a linear process...we can be going well, then back to square one.

A lot of people seem to hit the same kinds of walls around the 30, 60, 90 day mark.

I'm not a dr, but PAWs is at least one possible reason for why you're feeling this way - whether it's applicable or not in your case, it's worth a read in my opinion

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) « Digital Dharma


Also, reminding myself of why I started all this, re-reading old posts helped me, as did 'thinking the tape through' on that drink I wanted and forcing myself to remember what the inevitable consequences are...& posting here and helping others was a huge help to me too. Others here find the support they find in recovery groups like AA or SMART or counselling can help too, BSU...

Keep going, mate
D

BiggestScrewUp

Thanks Dee. Means a lot that you're thinking about me!

Nearly tired enough to go to bed and I havent had a drink still. Gonna push on through and sleep soon I think!

wpainterw

Congratulations on your progress thus far! As for now, how about watching something relaxing on TV? Depression is quite common in recovery. Hang in there and things should get better. Throw out any booze in the house.

W.

CarolD

Alcohol is a depressant. ...drinking again will make you
feel even worse.
Try going for a walk....calling a sober friend...eat something
you really like....play cheerful music...dance around the room
watch a silly movie or TV show.
Make a list of why you are chooseing sobreity
Start a Gratitude list....begin with A...end with Z.
Pray for clarity and peace.

Do anything you fancy.....except drink more poison.
Well done on your sober time

artsoul

Hi BSU -I felt the same way just before 30 days sober (and 60, too). It's very uncomfortable, but I'd get on here and after spending an hour or two on this forum, I'm reminded of what I have to lose if I drink again.

I know that if I take that drink, I'll have to quit again at some point or be forced to quit (through jail or hospitalization or death). So I figure, if not now, when?? The good news is that those moods don't last forever. The sun comes out again and you'll be an even stronger and more content person for having gotten through this.

Sending hugs and prayers......

BiggestScrewUp

Thanks guys. Again.. it all means an awful lot that you're looking out for me. I think I'm just gonna be in a rut for a few days. Still feeling really quite shoddy in the emotional department today. Thanks for helping me hang in here. I just don't wanna feel this awful for long! Problem is, is that I don't want to do anything but wallow in slef pity at the moment.

2stop

I am having one of those days where I also feel worthless and inadequate and i feel all tore up inside and I just wann ascream until i pass out! everything and anything that can go wrong has been...............I feel your pain I really do but we gotta hang in because every moment is another chance. It CAN get better even though I know it doesn't FEEL like it will. How we feel is real enough, but not usually an accurate indicator of the situation. There are so many things we CAN do it's just tough if we wait until we FEEL like it to do them.

Thank u so much for your posts, you have really helped me today to take a closer look at what I need to do to rise above the darkness, and the pain.
Do something nice for yourself today. I am sad when I see your username......you are deff not the biggest screw up!

warmest comforting hugs coming your way!

BiggestScrewUp

Thank you 2stop! That was a lovely post! Really made me feel better! I know I've gotta hang in here. We can do it! We CAN do it!
xx

2stop

**********{HUGS}}}}}}

LawMama

Sorry you are feeling bad. Sometimes the only thing you can do is take it minute by minute and minute by minute DON'T DRINK. The bad feelings will pass if you stay sober. If you drink the bad feelings will just get worse. If you have a higher power, maybe a prayer will help.

BiggestScrewUp

I know that the booze wont help. I just need something to stop me thinking about all this s**t

2stop

I found reading others' stories of sobriety and recovery gave me much needed hope and strength to push forward too. maybe read some of the stories on here. I believe there is a recovery stories forum here for those with a yar or more............hang in there.

Every moment is another chance.........

BiggestScrewUp

Thank you. Your words are all helpful.