Telling the family

Old 10-22-2010, 06:33 PM
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Telling the family

Funny how fathers react to news of your separation. Mine immediately said, "oh you don't want to talk about that now", immediately after I told him. Really, he didn't want to talk about it. He never does want to talk about emotional stuff, I know that is what males' brains are like, but really??? is that all you got for me dad? My mom died two years ago. I wish she was here to hold me and bring me food.

I just realized something yesterday, my AH is now addicted to working out! He has to go every day, it takes precedence over anything! Wow!!!
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:01 PM
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Shweeez.

My mom told me I should have baked my XH bread!

WTF? was that?

I have to know who I can expect support from and not be too disappointed at those who do not know how.

But I understand you had to tell your dad and it would have been nice if he could have been there for you.
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:14 PM
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Baked bread!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! It is amazing the things women used to believe they were supposed to do to "make their husbands happy." I saw a copy of an old Ladies Home Journal article, from way back when, and the thinking was just so foreign to me. Bring him slippers when he gets home from work kind of stuff.
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:16 PM
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Sorry your Dad is not empathetic JackTheDog. That is why we need our girlfriends
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:26 PM
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but but but MOM, I made PIES!

sorry to hijack....you could use a laugh, tho' right?
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:27 PM
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Are we the same person? My mom passed April of 2009 and my dad has reacted in almost in exactly the same way. the way i've come to terms with it is that he just wants his daughter o not be in pain. He wants me and AH to work things out and live happily ever after. But only I know that that can't happen.
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Old 10-22-2010, 08:11 PM
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Sorry daddy, your little girl got the big, bad wolf....not Prince Charming, and they are not going to live together happily ever after.

Another tale in
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Old 10-23-2010, 05:53 AM
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Thanks for the laughs! He wants to bring me food now, last night he invited me and my son over for dinner Sunday with my Aunt and Uncle, I said I wasn't ready for that yet, being around aunts and uncles who love gossip! I know he means well and that I have inherited some of his traits. he said he knew something was up. You are right, girlfriends are what we need!
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Old 10-23-2010, 06:48 AM
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I had a similar reaction, but from my mother. Once upon a time, I tried to move out from AH and use my mother as a support system. However, her response was, I made my bed and now I needed to lay in it. I made a promise to myself at that time that I would never be so cold and unsupportive towards my own children.

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you!

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Old 10-23-2010, 07:27 AM
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Originally Posted by jackthedog View Post
Thanks for the laughs! He wants to bring me food now, last night he invited me and my son over for dinner Sunday with my Aunt and Uncle, I said I wasn't ready for that yet, being around aunts and uncles who love gossip! I know he means well and that I have inherited some of his traits. he said he knew something was up. You are right, girlfriends are what we need!
See? This is the kind of thing that makes me try to remember that everybody really is doing the best they can. I also have been VERY disappointed in my family because they do NOTHING to provide support. Most of them do not even call and usually do not return calls. We don't even get together throughout the year. If I want to have ANYTHING to do with them I am the one who has to do all the work. And even then they RARELY cooperate and will even throw wrenches in the plans. It used to make me so angry! I had to get myself to the point where I realized and accepted that THIS is the BEST they can do. It may be NO WHERE NEAR what I want but this is it. Judging them, yelling at them, crying, getting angry: NONE of that helps. I'm glad I've gotten to this point because it applies to the relationships in the rest of my life too, not just my family of origin.

If I were you, I'd just go to that dinner and let my focus be spending time with my Dad. We never know how much longer we have with them. I would just ignore those aunts. You don't need to tell them a thing.
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