GhostKnitter

I went to an AA meeting tonight. I had been before, but tonight it was my decision. I don't really like the program (too antiquated), but I want to make some friends who are in recovery.

The meeting was awful. Boring, boring, boring. Lots of people were rambling, almost everyone had less than a month of sobriety (but pretended to be experts) and there was even a man with obvious mental health issues who went on for fifteen incredibly uncomfortable minutes about the Mayan calendar.

I guess I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe this town is just not a good AA spot.

tjp613

Bummer!!! I've never been to a meeting I didn't like. Just lucky, I guess.

HidLid

One of the guys in the main group I enjoy tends to ramble, no one corrects him because its usually stories about how he beat someone half to death...(actually tonight it was hitting someone trying to mug him with a bat and putting them in a coma for 8 months, but there have been others where the person on the receiving end didn't deserve it...and some events even occur in sobriety). The stories are always interesting but nearly always off topic. He has taken an interest in my recovery more so than others for whatever reason, I hope he doesn't take too much of an interest, he is the type that will come and beat down the door if I was to miss a couple meetings. (Which is why he will never learn where I live)

CarolD

Welcome to SR.....

I sure was not thrilled to know I needed to quit...and learn
how to live sober either.
I left my first AA meeting at half time...."I'm not that bad"

3 more years of drinking....I was over qualified to "be that bad"
Sooo....back I went and stayed to recover from my alcoholism.


Yes....the program might be too antiquated to suit you
but it can also be very benefitial.
The AA program is all in the Steps.

I hope you stay around.....many of our members are happily
sucessfully sober useing all kinds of different methods.

Again.....welcome

firestorm090

I've been to meetings that weren't great, but the one thing I went for, help to not drink, was there, because they only served coffee, lol.

The worst AA meeting I've been to still helped me not drink that day, which is what it's all about anyway, so even the worst ones work.

Isaiah

Yeah. I have no problem saying there are bad meetings. I've seen two fist fights. I've seen chairs totally violate their duties. I've heard people call newcomers idiots. Things like that have made me leave feeling angry or disillusioned, and in that state of mind my sobriety would be better kept watching tv I think.

But those have been extremely rare for me. In the hundreds of meetings I've been to I can only think of six bad incidents that made me want to leave.

So I hope it goes better for you. Next time a topic might come up that might encourage them to be more sincere. And maybe you'll find another meeting to try.

Lenina

Ghostknitter,

I'm not a big AA person but at times find meeting helpful. Where I live, there's tons of meetings. Some are better than others. If you can find a meeting with a lot of solid sobriety, it makes a difference.

I also use Rational Recovery. It helps me a lot. Have you looked into that?

Love,

Lenina

GhostKnitter

The secular alternatives to AA are not available where I live.

I am really bummed.

Dee74

Hi Ghostknitter
Welcome to SR

I hope you can find a better meeting - but AA or not, I believe the key is in us...and in accepting that drinking is no longer a viable option.

You'll find a lot of support here
D

LaFemme

Sorry for your bad meeting. Any SMART where you are? I use SR...but that's it.

wpainterw

Sounds like you should try some other meetings if they are available in your area. Sure there are some issues about AA but there are also distinct benefits if you can find a meeting which is congenial to you. I've been to a few bummers myself but put it this way: alcoholism is an illness which can cause some folks to behave in controversial and disagreeable ways. You're likely to meet them occasionally. I found that the best way to deal with that is to keep a low profile and keep on the watch for a good meeting. Have you tried a speakers' meeting? That usually depends on the insights of one person and I have attended some which have been memorable and inspiring. Good luck.

W.

Toronto68

ghost, well, you could use this site for a while and see how you feel about going to a different room later - or try another room sooner.

stugotz

I have never been to a meeting that was worse than jail.

As far as an antiquated program, unless there is a new way to get drunk I dont need a new way to get sober. Keep coming back.

least

Try different meetings. All meetings are different. Some are 'better' than others.

LexieCat

Try to find a meeting not so overloaded with newcomers. The program isn't antiquated, though the language in the BB is somewhat dated. As Stu points out, human nature isn't really any different today from when the Bible was written.

If you find meetings with a lot of people who have recovered by working the Steps, they will explain how the Steps actually have worked in their own lives to make it possible to have a happy life without drinking. A good sponsor helps a whole lot.

jhay

Yes, keep coming back, it will get better! I suggest trying out a few different groups if possible. A lot of people have bad first experiences and it's alright, it just means that particular group may not be the one for you.

JackNWA

I LOVE this line - Thanks!

The worst AA meeting I've been to still helped me not drink that day, which is what it's all about anyway, so even the worst ones work.

Snarf

Sorry you didn't enjoy the meeting, but please keep in mind that there are many different meetings, each with their own members, tone and culture.

You said, "I don't really like the program (too antiquated), but I want to make some friends who are in recovery." I think going into it with the attitude that you don't like it certainly won't help you any. When I first tried AA 4 years ago, it wasn't because I wanted to be there; other people told me I drank too much so I was trying to appease them. But my heart wasn't in it so it didn't work for me.

This time around, if I had gone to AA because I wanted to make friends, I would've left before the meeting was half over. These people were miserable, crazy, know-it-alls; why would I want to be friends with them? But that's not why I went back. I went back because I was beaten. Alcohol had wiped the floor with me, and I needed help badly. I had to get off the booze or terrible things were going to happen to me and the people I care about.

As Stu said, "I have never been to a meeting that was worse than jail. " I'm not going to end up in jail, an institution or a box if I keep myself from drinking. Yes, there are some lovely people at AA who I would be proud to call my friends, but that's not why I'm there. I'm there to get better. There are also people in there that bum me out every time I see them. I think, "Great, what is this clown going to ramble about today?" But just like anything else, you take the good with the bad. And I try to leave the bad there and bring the good home with me.

If you're not going to AA for the right reasons, it's probably not going to work for you. But if you want it to work for you it can.

Mark75

Hmm, maybe there was a full moon last night, my normally excellent home group thursday night meeting was really off the beam...

Keep coming back Ghost!

jamdls

Hi Ghost, welcome to SR. I'm not an AA person but it did help me a lot in the beginning, I went to 3 different locations before I found a meeting I liked and even there there was this 1 guy who would tell the same boring story and almost every every meeting, you'd see everyone rolling their eyes each time he'd start to repeat the story but eventually (and I only went for maybe 6 weeks so it wasn't long) I was able to just tune him out. The first couple of meetings I found every share to be boring and I couldn't relate at all, "I wasn't that bad", and in actuallity my problem wasn't as bad as the majority of people in the meeting BUT I quit hearing what I didn't relate to and started to hear what I could relate to and it made a lot of difference. As I listened to some of the stories it strenghthened my resolve that I didn't want to get "as bad" as others and I was definetly headed in that direction.