firestorm090

"I'd really like to kill myself."

I'm still not sure how to even write about such a comment.

A young guy, maybe twenty-five years old, made this comment to me after a meeting tonight. I could not believe what I had heard. We were outside the building where we had attended an AA meeting and during the course of our small talk, the young man made this comment to me. I was and still am dumbfounded. I looked the guy in the eyes and he was serious. It damn near brought tears to my eyes and I haven't cried in many a year. I jokingly made a comment that if he killed himself, then I'd have to beat his ass, but this kid was for real.

He told me he'd been drinking for seven years, his wife had left him with his son, his family had given up on him and he was living with a friend who forced him to go to AA in order to have a roof over his head. He had no money, so I offered to buy him dinner, but he declined saying his friend had cooked for both of them and he would eat when he got home. He hasn't had a drink for four days.

To me, it just goes to show how alcohol can just totally ruin our lives, make us want to toss it all and off ourselves, which is truly sad indeed. I gave him my phone number and told him to call me if he has any thoughts like this and just needs to talk.

How many people has alcohol brought to this point? I often thought about this when drunk, but never seriously. It's just another reminder of how special a day without a drink really is.

Garp

Given that he seems to have been forced into AA, he may feel uncomfortably 'out of control' of his own life at this stage. Perhaps you could try to convince him that these are the first steps to regaining control of his life.

Kmber2010

FS that is a sad reality. What the positive here is that he is going and getting help with the support of a friend and AA.

Hopefully as he takes this journey he will begin to recover and move forward as life is full of great things that we sometimes fail to see when we are looking through the bottom of a bottle.

We can only support and stay positive and live our lives as best as we can.

firestorm090

Thanks you guys and gals!!

This is keeping me awake tonight. It just sickens my soul that booze has brought a person to this late stage so early in life, or at any date in life. It could be me and at times has been, but never with the sincereity he showed tonight. It just sickens me.

aasharon90

I was about 30 when my
family stepped in with an
intervention doing for me
what I couldnt do for my-
self and Im truely grateful.

Today I see the younger
generation coming to
meetings and It make
me feel so happy that
at that age they are taking
it upon themselves to get
help for their addictions.

It is sad to see how addiction
runs rapid thru families
destroying lives along
the way.


Thankfully there is a
solution and it's been
around for awhile now
and it works if we work
it.

There is hope for all
who want it. A one day
at a time program.

Steps and principles to
guide us all along the
way.

There is life after addiction.

A wonder happy free life.

littlefish

Once at a meeting, after we had lost two members who never showed up again.....
we discussed the 12th step. People sat there and said they had never gone to hospitals or the drunks on the street to help the still suffering alcoholic and "might do it someday" or so on and so forth.

I said we don't even have to go outside the rooms.

The still suffering alcoholics are sitting right there in the rooms with us.
I pointed out our home group had decreased it's number by two over the summer.

Did you get his number? Giving out our phone numbers to newcomers is doing 12 step work.
That was great you offered to buy him dinner. You might also call him and let him know you are there for him if he ever needs to talk to someone.
As the lady who gave me my first phone number in my first AA meeting said: "Call me if you want to have a drink. I'll drop everything if I can and be right over". She meant it.

tjp613

Thank you so much for being there for him, firestorm. My daughter is going through a severe depression episode right now and it's damn scary for all of us, but most of all for her. Please keep reaching out to him and remind him that things WILL get better.

Anna

I agree that it's really sad, and thank you for helping this young man as much as you could.

There were times during my drinking days when I passively wished I was no longer around. I was not suicidal, but I was poisoning myself with alcohol. Depression is an awful thing to deal with. Hopefully this man's depression will begin to lift as he continues his sobriety.

Mark75

Shortly after my "fall" and before I really started my recovery... I remember almost having a horrific motor vehicle accident... wet highway, fast speeds, semi trucks... what scared me the most was that I was not scared... at the moment (I was on my way to "aftercare")... I just didn't care if I died. Spooky. Not actively suicidal, but I was in the grips of despair... "what have I done" ... "life will never be good again" .... it's an awful place to be. It's almost surreal looking back. I have not know that feeling before, and, thank God, since.

Find out how he's doing next time you see him. He may need professional help and if it seems that he means business maybe you can convince him to seek it.

It means a lot to all of us to be there for each other, and that's really all we can do... be there, and you were Dallas. Good Stuff... Prayers to that young man and his family. He doesn't have to live that way anymore.

Mark

almay777

I unfortunately used to get waves of thoughts about death that used to scare me. I could be catching the train and all of a sudden I would imagine jumping in front of it. I could see myself doing it. Just quite simply ending all the pain. It used to scare me so much I would step away from the edge and hug a post or something, almost like I was trying to stop myself. I could be chopping something in the kitchen and suddenly feel the urge to get the knife as far away from me as possible. I did not trust myself with it.
The scary bit for me was the thought of leaving my precious beautiful little boy behind. But I was so depressed from all the alcohol, the pain it caused and how ill I felt 24/7 that it seemed like a much easier option then living. I feel 100% better just 32 days into sobreity. Everyone has problems; I still have problems with money and other emotional things are still happening in my life. But alcohol used to magnitise these feelings by a 100%. It is quite simply a depressant. In the morning my problems were always still there + the added bonus of feeling like ripping my head off from the night before.
The best feeling is the feeling of control. Pure control over every action that I take. I feel like I am addicted to being sober but thats an addiction I am happy to live with :-)

augustwest

At the end of the road i didn't want to live but but was too gutless to kill myself.

divineangel1012

I have felt like that before. Not with alcohol but with cocaine. I understand where he's coming from. Once you start to lose things it just gets more and more unmanagable and you think it will finally make all your problems go away. Its not the best way though. I hope he gets help. That's such a scary place to be.

Bamboozle

Anyone who says that he/she wants to kill him/herself needs professional help immediately.

Anyone who says that he/she is going to kill him/herself, please call the authorities and tell them who the person is and where he/she lives.

Dee74

Thanks for getting in before me Bam

We also have a sticky with lots of links for places to help and numbers to call

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

Live

Thanks Bam, I totally agree.
This has been worrying at me.

This could be the only warning this young man gives and he is in the age group where the 3d most common death is by suicide.

firestorm090

Thanks to all of you for your concern.

I've spoken with the young man twice today and he's doing better today. He's beginning to understand that it's the booze that has caused all these problems for him and that he has a chance to turn his life around if he stays focused on recovery first. I've also suggested he contact a counselor I know, and he assured me he would call him tomorrow to set an appointment.

We're meeting tonight for another meeting, his friend is dropping him off, and afterwards we're going for coffee. I think the crisis is over for now and will diligently stay connected to ensure this guy gets the help he needs.

After all this stress, I think coffee and pie will be a nice change tonight.
Thanks for your support.

Live

so very glad to hear that Firestorm!

You are a pretty good guy in spite of yourself! LOL

Maybe you want to do the decaf???

((((((((hugs))))))

julez

Firestorm, I'm so proud of you. You've really turned it around. Now if we could get you to exercise..........

artsoul

Firestorm - I think you deserve two pieces of that pie..... What is so rewarding about sobriety is that just by working on our recovery, we can touch lives of other alcoholics (and in turn, they reach out to others).

You just don't know how much effect your offer of support might have helped him. I really admire you for putting yourself out there.

LaFemme

Way to go. I am so glad to hear that he is getting help. Tell him there is a crazy online forum that is pulling for him. He might like to know how many people care. Every life is precious.