He's back in jail

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Old 10-20-2010, 01:16 PM
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He's back in jail

Well, here it is almost November, almost birthday time and, once again, he has sabataged himself! He always starts punishing himself around this time of year. I really think it stems back to his being adopted! I really feel he has abandonment issues, that he has just never addressed.

Anyway, here it was almost 2 years of a 3 year parole completed, and he got caught with a needle, syringe, and empty baggie. So, he is in county jail awaiting hearing on these charges. After that he will go before the parole board and answer that charge of violation of parole.

Now, this is the kicker! He just got a job remodeling a home. Guess the money in the pocket is just too tempting! Three weeks ago he told me he applied for the Salvation Army program and they told him it would be three weeks before they had a bed opening. They sent an application and after filing it out he would be on the list. Unfortunately, he still hadn't gotten an ok from parole officer to let him go, but he was working on it! It seems he is always just one inch from doing the right thing and he gets busted!

So here we go again. I'm so weary and so sad. It's been a rotten week for me. My handsome kitty, Gino, accidentally got out on Sunday night, because we were searching for our new little kitten we found, and someone left the door open. He is gone. He is the fourth kitty to dissappear in the last couple of months. We suspect coyotes! I'm am devastated losing him. He was with us for about 7 years. He was my son's cat originally, but then we took him as a kitten 'cause his landlord wouldn't let him have it.

So, shoot, life is not treating me well these days.

On the bright side, my GGD is doing wonderful. She is in school for 3 hours a day. Tons of social workers visiting all the time. Adoption should be final in December.

Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but this 3 year old keeps me hopping. Lost 15 pounds since April! That was good!

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:28 PM
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Kitty gone again

I am sorry that Kitty decided to bail on you! Cats, you just can't rely on 'em!
Dogs, now they don't be takin' off on you!
So what is this?
You are adopting your granddaughter?
Please tell me I read this correctly?!
That is wonderful!
Your son will be alright, sounds like the intention is there. Some of us just need a little time!
Hugs
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:52 PM
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Hey Dev,

Sorry to hear about his return to 3 hots and a cot. My A stepson is currently serving a sentence in a real prison (not just a county detention center) for his check fraud fun from the crack crazy days.

I'm keeping you, Mr. Dev, and the whole family in my prayers.

Hugs, HG
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:48 PM
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Well, dang! I was really hoping that this might be "the time" for him. But wherever he goes, his HP goes with him, so let's just keep him in our prayers and hope there is a strangely wrapped gift here somewhere.

And Gino will be in my prayers too. I really hope he finds his way home. Your Gino and my Toby were almost related through us, so you know I'm praying hard for your kitty.

And hugs for being such a blessing for your great granddaughter, what a wonderful role model she will grow up knowing.

If you ever need an escape to Canada, I have just the place waiting for you. I will even let you sleep on my bamboo sheets, a privilege given only to very special guests. You may want to wait until after winter though, it can get blowy and snowy here any time now.

Big hugs to you and my favourite Italian foxy fella. :ghug3
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:25 PM
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A prayer to Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost things be they fuzzy, scaled, or feathered.

Saint Anthony,
look around.
Gino's lost
and must be found!
Bring him home to his family
safe and sound!

Amen.


As for your son, well, he's not so much lost as he is found. He'll keep learning this lesson until he gets it right. Have faith.

I wish I had a 3 yr old, I've got this extra 25 lbs that I just can't shake. LOL!

Alice
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:06 PM
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Hi Dev, I'm so sorry your going through this again with your son. Lets just hope his HP is hanging on tight and things don't end up as bad as you think. I can only imagine how busy that little 3 year old is keeping up. Babysitting my grandbabies tires me out. YOU and hubby are fantastic people to be giving this little girl a life she would not have seen. I'm also hoping your kitty finds her way home soon so you can smile again. Lots of hugs lady, Bonnie
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:24 PM
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Having your GGD around should help keep your mind off your son's problems at least.

I lost a cat the same way as you lost yours. Post some signs around for Gino. They say cats seldom wander more than 3 blocks from home. I actually got my cat back when someone saw my sign.
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Old 10-20-2010, 05:03 PM
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HollyAnne, kitties don't run away. My Gino was always right here in the yard, under the stairs, resting in the garden. His curfew was 5:00 PM. THis night he was in the house, but we couldn't find the new 7-week old kitty Mr. Dev rescued 2 weeks prior. I went crazy! The entire neighborhood was searching. Everyone was in and out of the house. This spooked Gino and as soon as he got the opportunity with someone leaving the door open, he ran out.

Gino is the fourth cat missing within the last month or so. This wouldn't normally happen to him because he stays in the fenced yard. This night he was so spooked he ran out of the yard and across the street we call the jungle! We live right at the base of Mt.Konocti and there are Bob Cats, Mountain Lions, Coyotes.

Now I see my neighbor's cat all the time, and she hasn't been seen in the last two days either.

Yes, we are adopting our Great-Grandaughter.

My son is a BUTT! He is just a habitual criminal! He had every opportunity to straighten out his life, but keeps choosing to use drugs! He had two wonderful friends that have stood by him, were good to him, encouraged him, gave him shelter, because they have been there, but that didn't work either.

Hi Bonnie: I don't know if he'll ever straighten out. I really think he's too far gone! Going to be 48 in November. He talks a good game, but talk is cheap! I would like to see some action. He asked if he could come back here after this is over! He didn't last three weeks last time. I just cannot get along with him anymore! He is disrespectful and gets ugly! Unless he does a lot of changing, which he won't, he can butt out of my life and his grandaughters too!

ItsmeAlice: What a beautiful prayer. Thank you ItmsAlice, you are very sweet. I hope St.Anthony hears that prayer. Kisses to you for that.

Hi Hydrogirl: Cute, "3 hots & a cot!" Obviously you don't know that my son is very unhappy because he sheets have such a poor thread count.

EJG, my neighbors whose kitties were missing before Gino did that, to no avail. Nope, if Gino was around he'd be here. He was my baby!

Hi Ann: You're right Gino and Toby have been friends for all these years. You can imagine how sad I am over this. As far as John goes, I'm just disgusted with him. You know how many years we've been trying. The problem is we've been trying, but he hasn't! Even now all he says is the very same stuff. You know the ususal "jail talk!" "I'm tired of this life, I'm going to live a good christian life, etc." yeah, right! Bunch of useless chatter!

Mr. Dev, sends his love and says "watcha out for de Italian, they are pretty fuxzy!" LOL

Love ya all,

Devastated
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Old 10-20-2010, 05:30 PM
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Devastated, I'm sorry to hear about your (son?) being arrested for drugs, and sorry about your kitty as well. Sometimes things aren't always what they seem. Better for him to be arrested with proof of drug use, than to die of an overdose. Sometimes jail is what it takes to wake them up and realize that they don't want to live that kind of a life. It's always tough on the people who love them. I'm sorry that your going through this. Hopefully he will decide to change his ways.

As far as Gino goes, that's heartbreaking. Your son still has potential to get well, but if Coyotes got Gino there isn't any coming back from that. I'm very sorry about your loss and devastation. I too am the mother of an addict, and my son always wound up in rehab in February on his birthday for 4 years in a row. He has missed so much due to drug use. The good news is that now he is totally clean, and doing the right things to build his life up again. There is always hope for the addict. So stay strong, and try to remember that this will pass. It's not going to stay this way. He might be better off sitting in jail, than out shooting drugs into his veins. My heart goes out to you, from one mom to another. I pray for the addicted every day on my rosary, and with my prayer group at church. Your son is in our prayers. Worry and sorrow doesn't help anything, so do your best to take care of yourself. I wish you blessings and a family healing. Your GGD is a very blessed little girl to have you in her life caring for her. Not only are you good for her, but she is good for you too. 3 year olds are so adorable. But they sure do keep you busy. God will reward you for all the good you are doing for others. Try to be good to yourself at this difficult time. Give it to GOD, and he will help. That's what I had to do. :ghug3
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Old 10-21-2010, 01:37 PM
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Hi Angelic

Thanks very much for your kind words. I agree my son is better off not on the streets; however, prison sure isn't the answer again! I'm not a novice at this and neither is he. He has been in and out of the system since he was 18 years old....that adds up to 30 years wasted!

I'm sad that he has been so unhappy that he has wasted his entire life and continues on his path of self-destruction. I'm sad that every woman he meets falls in love with him just to be hurt by his hateful, mean, disrespectful ways (thank you drugs). I'm sad that he doesn't get counseling and insists that he has good self-esteem! I'm sad that he just doesn't get it yet and sad because I know this time won't be any different. Even if they did give him a drug program, he just doesn't want to change! He has two friends he was in prison with the last time, they got out before him and immediately took care of the parole requirements. My son has been out almost two years, and lied about doing the required anger management meetings. By now he would have finished them. Anyway, that's another subject 'cause it's pretty much a catch 22. If you don't have the money for the class you cannot attend; if you don't attend you are breaking the parole rules!

Another kitty just came up missing. My neighbor's. Lucy! I thought she was gone. Haven't seen her since Sunday right after Gino. Putting notices everywhere around the neighborhood.

Thanks for praying. I've lost faith lately! My prayers have not been answered in all these years.

My GGD is a very beautiful little girl and hopefully the circle will be broken with her.

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 10-21-2010, 01:53 PM
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What a goreous girl! She looks so very interested and intent on what is going on in that booth!
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Old 10-21-2010, 02:44 PM
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Dev,
That gal is beautiful! And I too hope that she breaks the chain.
You and Mr Dev are such good and loving people to take her in
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Old 10-21-2010, 03:40 PM
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She just melts my heart, Dev, what a lovely little girl and so blessed to have you and Mr. Dev.

I'm sorry your son stays stuck in his cycle, as does my own son.

I too got very mad at God and figured he wasn't paying any attention to my needs. But ya know, I kept trying to connect and found that when I let go and took a good look around, the world was still a beautiful place, so I turned my thoughts to gratitude for the good and discovered that I really do have many blessings.

You and Mr. Dev have a wonderful relationship, and a dear little girl who owns your heart. None of that is an "accident", it is all blessings that surround you today.

It helps me to give my son to God each day and then trust that He can do what I and my son cannot do. That hasn't changed anything much, but the faith keeps me moving and helps me appreciate how precious life is.

Love you Dev, we've walked a long road together here, and your friend from the north is still walking beside you even on the cloudy days.

Hugs
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Old 10-21-2010, 05:30 PM
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Ann, my dear, dear, friend, I love you. You always know the right thing to say. I wish I did. I am so angry with my son. He has gotten just horrible. I sat down today and wrote him a letter that I'm sure he'll just find more excuse to be angry. I haven't sent it yet, still thinking if I should even bother. I haven't visited him, and really don't plan to. I did send him a few bucks for his books so he could get stamps to send away his application for that Salvation army program he was going to get in. The day he was picked up, he had only one more day at the gfriend's dad's house. He took him in and liked him, but the gf's sister put a lot of pressure on him to kick him out. He's old and hated the chaos so decided it would be best to give him the 2 weeks notice to leave. He didn't have any place to go again. COuldn't come here because of the baby adoption and him being on parole. It's almost like he set himself up once again.

I know I have been blessed with a great husband and would have had a more wonderful life if I didn't have the heart-ache from both of my children. Remember my daughter married the controller, so hasn't been allowed to talk to us in years!! I'm so tired. There are days when I just feel like throwing in the towel, but can't now because of the baby!

Now, my handsome boy Gino is gone but we have Kelsey and our new Mia that Mr. Dev recently rescued. Don't understand why God works the way he does, but guess ours is not to reason why.

The baby was so intent because they were making a balloon doggie for her. This was at the Pear Festival in September. Isn't she absolutely gorgeous? Everywhere we go people remark. I only hope she grows up to be beautiful inside! We're trying our very best.

I have been going over rules with her. You know, No smoking, no drugs, no tattoos, then I said, no drinking. She stopped and said, but Nanna I love to drink! Milk, juice, even water. How funny was that! Mr. Dev is teaching her to cook, make bread, she even made gnochi the other day. She is learning Italian too. I told him to teach her Spanish first.

We were able to meet the great-grandson last week. He is in a foster home and will be one year old soon. He has a different dad and is part hispanic. You would not believe they were related at all. Look nothing alike. The foster parents are hispanic and are teaching him the language. They hope to adopt him soon. The great-grandaughter is happy now because she got to see him again. She will be in counseling soon. I refuse to let another child grow up with abandonment issues!

Ok, enough of me and mine.

Love to you all
Devastated

Love to you all

Devastated
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Old 10-21-2010, 06:51 PM
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{I've lost faith lately! My prayers have not been answered in all these years}
Oh, but take one look at that beautiful little girl...maybe you are the answer to her prayers, and that is just as good
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Old 10-21-2010, 06:52 PM
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Did you do her braid? I practiced and practiced for years to braid my daughters hair like that and never could quite master it.
She's beautiful
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Old 10-21-2010, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by devastated View Post
Hi Angelic

Thanks very much for your kind words. I agree my son is better off not on the streets; however, prison sure isn't the answer again! I'm not a novice at this and neither is he. He has been in and out of the system since he was 18 years old....that adds up to 30 years wasted!

I'm sad that he has been so unhappy that he has wasted his entire life and continues on his path of self-destruction. I'm sad that every woman he meets falls in love with him just to be hurt by his hateful, mean, disrespectful ways (thank you drugs). I'm sad that he doesn't get counseling and insists that he has good self-esteem! I'm sad that he just doesn't get it yet and sad because I know this time won't be any different. Even if they did give him a drug program, he just doesn't want to change! He has two friends he was in prison with the last time, they got out before him and immediately took care of the parole requirements. My son has been out almost two years, and lied about doing the required anger management meetings. By now he would have finished them. Anyway, that's another subject 'cause it's pretty much a catch 22. If you don't have the money for the class you cannot attend; if you don't attend you are breaking the parole rules!

Another kitty just came up missing. My neighbor's. Lucy! I thought she was gone. Haven't seen her since Sunday right after Gino. Putting notices everywhere around the neighborhood.

Thanks for praying. I've lost faith lately! My prayers have not been answered in all these years.

My GGD is a very beautiful little girl and hopefully the circle will be broken with her.

Hugs, Devastated
Devastated, I have never seen a more beautiful child than that beautiful blonde headed little girl. She is stunningly beautiful. And she looks just as sweet as she is pretty. At least you have her to bring some joy your way, while you suffer grief with your own kids. It's so sad what drugs do to our kids. I went through it with my own son, even though he hasn't gone the jail route yet. He has been clean for 5 months now, and I'm praying it stays this way. But I know with addiction, it could go sideways at any time. Even though your son is in jail, believe it or not, he still has hope. Pray that GOD puts someone in his path, to help him open his eyes, and realize that he can have a better life if he wants it. I don't know why some people just don't get it. My brother had the same problems as your son. Jail and drugs. It's very painful. It's not your fault though. It has nothing to do with the way your raised him. Drugs are destroying and ruining families in epidemic proportions all over the world. It's a big problem that nobody is talking about. Don't give up on GOD. He writes straight with crooked lines. If you know what I'm trying to say. God has a plan for your son, and he has to find his own way and learn to change. It's the drugs that make him do wrong and get in trouble. He is probably a very nice person without the drugs. I watched my brother go in and out of jail, and I watched my mom suffer. Now that my son is older and was involved with drugs, I know exactly what my mother went through. Take care of yourself. At least your son is safe for now, and that's better than overdosed or dead. There is still hope for him. Hang on to that, and pray for him. I will pray for him too. From one mother to another, I totally understand your hurt and sadness. Nothing hurts more than watching our kids ruin their lives. For a mother it's unbearable. I'm sorry and my heart goes out to you.
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Old 10-21-2010, 08:55 PM
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What a stunner!
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Old 10-22-2010, 01:24 AM
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Sorry you are disappointed yet again.
Your son is having some success with life, making some effort in sorting himself out.
So sad that the dope lured him back.
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Old 10-22-2010, 05:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Hurtbad2505 View Post
{I've lost faith lately! My prayers have not been answered in all these years}
Oh, but take one look at that beautiful little girl...maybe you are the answer to her prayers, and that is just as good
Wow, how very well said!!
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