HoopNinja

I just came from an incredible Bible study and my brain is swirling because it was so intense. It was about the choice we have when it comes to our fears.

The thing that got me the most was this:

If______________, then________________.

So we thought of the worse thing that could happen and filled in the blanks (in our own thoughts).

If this happened, then (and then thought of the thing that would happen) and continued to add and then--until you finally get to the point that you realize all your and thens are gone and you are still standing there living your life.

Part of this was that often we are handed things from our HP and we do not take them because we are locked in our fear. We do not live our lives because we won't give up that fear.

I am still working on my codependency and probably will my whole life. It creeps up on me and I have to slap it back down. I am finally allowing myself to take the things offered. When I give things over to my HP and then try to take it back I am only doing damage to myself. Sometimes we do not know the then that comes after the if and all we can do is believe IF, then HP will take care of it.

I'm still working this out in my thoughts. The whole idea of living life without fear of all the IF, THEN and the freedom that would give me--right now seems overwhelming to me. I have little control over so many of the Ifs in my life.

outlander

Thank you I needed to hear what you said it will make the night go by a lot better something to think about. I am in the same boat as you I feel like I have little controller over the ifs in my life.

Jadmack25

Went thru the "what if they find??" bit since Friday, when nurse from Breastscreen called to ask me in for a 2nd look at "some abnormalities" in the mammograms taken 2 weeks ago.
Of course after my best mate's hell with her daughter's cancer diagnosis last Thursday, I was not in confident mode.

Well, I had that all this morning and I have very naughty boobs with a lot of cysts, but all benign Thank God. I went thru the "what if's" for nothing, and wasted what could have been a good and happy 5 days, earning more wrinkles and grey hairs.
WILL I NEVER LEARN?

My HP, (God) must shake His head and smile wistfully when I do this, and wonder when I will learn to trust in Him.

TakingCharge999

Oh Jadmack I 'm so glad its nothing serious. I also got a cancer threat and went crazy for months with "what ifs". Nope. The HPV I got is not cancerous. The gyn had other 2 yellow folders and she said "these 2 are also young like you and for them, its bad news"

I felt incredibly blessed by God then. Thanks for reminding me of this.

Thanks Wife2Kids for so much food for thought.

HoopNinja

Jadmack I have had those same fears twice. Once was during the adoption of my younger son and I just remember laying there during the 2nd biopsy thinking "if it is cancer I have lost my 2nd son. . .and who will take care of my older son?" When the technician left I could not stop crying. I spent that next week gripped in fear for nothing. I think about that now and the then-as this woman last night who presented said-then (and for me I would lay on the floor and cry for the loss of my son who I could never bring home, I would go through the treatments and take care of my other son, and on and on).
She also talked about the fear of death-that is a whole other discussion but she basically said if we spend our times worrying about that we have given away the life our HP (also God for me) gave us and the purpose he placed us on this earth. We will miss all the things he hands to us because we will be looking somewhere else.

SoloMio

I, too, have been trying to shut the door to the what-ifs. Sometimes I visualize it just that way, too... I feel like I am obsessed by what's on the other side of that door, and then I approach it and open it a crack and let the fear breezes wash over me. Sometimes they cause me to be almost sick to my stomach. They cause me to waste a lot of precious time and energy I could be spending basking in the moments in front of me.

Lately, I've just said to myself--I'm just ignoring that door and I'm living in the room of my own serenity. Because those breezes are just nothing but air with no substance.

Good for you for working on that! And Jadmack, so happy your fears were unfounded!