I think I'm an alcoholic. Others don't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 6
I think I'm an alcoholic. Others don't.
Hi there,
I'm new here. I'm 35 years old and I've been drinking since I was 18. The first time I drank it was with my brother and we drank to get drunk (he was getting me ready for going off to the university where drinking would be the norm). We took down a pint of tequila and a six pack of Fosters. In college I drank heavily--binge drank five nights a week, blacked out, forgot things, etc. But so did many other people so I never thought it was wrong.
Anyhow, fast-forward 17 years and I've turned into a 3-glass-of-wine-a-night drinker. That's 21 drinks a week.
I have tried to stop and when I do, I really obsess over alcohol. I tend to pony up to the booze at parties and when there's a limited amount I will drink faster than others so I get enough. I haven't blacked out in years and I never have more than 3 (sometimes it's just 2), but I depend on it daily. I've tried quitting before without assistance and only lasted four days. I feel foggy most mornings and slightly hungover. Some days, when I don't have to work, I'll drink at lunch (2 or so), nap, and then have 2-3 more in the evening.
I talked to a friend about this and he claims that he has never observed alcoholic behavior in me and that I'm acting like a victim. He drinks 2-3 drinks a night with the occasional binge so he's probably not the one to talk to about it.
I went to an AA meeting on Saturday (I haven't had a drink since Friday) and I could relate, but I'm definitely one of those functioning drinkers even though I feel like alcohol has a tight grip on my day-to-day life even though and that I can't seem to control it well. No DUIs. No job problems. But I know I'm not drinking normally and I can't seem to moderate well. I have a hard time saying that I'm an alcoholic, even though I'm not in denial that I have a problem, because people in my life don't understand and think I'm being...dramatic.
I'm just shrugging all that off. I don't think 21 drinks a week is normal or healthy. I want to quit. That's the only qualification for AA, so I'm going.
Just wanted to share.
I'm new here. I'm 35 years old and I've been drinking since I was 18. The first time I drank it was with my brother and we drank to get drunk (he was getting me ready for going off to the university where drinking would be the norm). We took down a pint of tequila and a six pack of Fosters. In college I drank heavily--binge drank five nights a week, blacked out, forgot things, etc. But so did many other people so I never thought it was wrong.
Anyhow, fast-forward 17 years and I've turned into a 3-glass-of-wine-a-night drinker. That's 21 drinks a week.
I have tried to stop and when I do, I really obsess over alcohol. I tend to pony up to the booze at parties and when there's a limited amount I will drink faster than others so I get enough. I haven't blacked out in years and I never have more than 3 (sometimes it's just 2), but I depend on it daily. I've tried quitting before without assistance and only lasted four days. I feel foggy most mornings and slightly hungover. Some days, when I don't have to work, I'll drink at lunch (2 or so), nap, and then have 2-3 more in the evening.
I talked to a friend about this and he claims that he has never observed alcoholic behavior in me and that I'm acting like a victim. He drinks 2-3 drinks a night with the occasional binge so he's probably not the one to talk to about it.
I went to an AA meeting on Saturday (I haven't had a drink since Friday) and I could relate, but I'm definitely one of those functioning drinkers even though I feel like alcohol has a tight grip on my day-to-day life even though and that I can't seem to control it well. No DUIs. No job problems. But I know I'm not drinking normally and I can't seem to moderate well. I have a hard time saying that I'm an alcoholic, even though I'm not in denial that I have a problem, because people in my life don't understand and think I'm being...dramatic.
I'm just shrugging all that off. I don't think 21 drinks a week is normal or healthy. I want to quit. That's the only qualification for AA, so I'm going.
Just wanted to share.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Hi blixtrix
In my experience, most normal drinkers don't understand alcoholism and most problem drinkers/active alcoholics don't want to.
Glad you've found a recovery program. You'll find a lot of support here too.
Welcome to SR
In my experience, most normal drinkers don't understand alcoholism and most problem drinkers/active alcoholics don't want to.
Glad you've found a recovery program. You'll find a lot of support here too.
Welcome to SR
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
I have a hard time saying that I'm an alcoholic, even though I'm not in denial that I have a problem, because people in my life don't understand and think I'm being...dramatic.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Wow! You sound exactly like me!...except that I'm 52 and have been drinking since I was 16. Nobody has ever told me they thought I had a drinking problem, nor do I have a DUI (by the grace of God), or problems relating to family or work. I realized I had a problem when I tried to quit and found I couldn't go more than 2-3 days before I started obsessing. I've got 13 days as of today, my longest stretch in the past 17 years.
What cinched it for me was reading in the Big Book of AA, attending meetings, asking questions here on SR, and reading the book Under The Influence. I'm DONE, especially after feeling the many benefits of being sober! I LOVE not being hungover, having a clear head every day and 100x more energy. Not giving that up.
Here's a thread I started, very similar to this one: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2733003
What cinched it for me was reading in the Big Book of AA, attending meetings, asking questions here on SR, and reading the book Under The Influence. I'm DONE, especially after feeling the many benefits of being sober! I LOVE not being hungover, having a clear head every day and 100x more energy. Not giving that up.
Here's a thread I started, very similar to this one: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2733003
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,348
Welcome to SR blixtrix
When I came here I had people telling me I wasn't an alcoholic either, but I knew I had to do something because I knew the way I was living, the things I was doing to myself and to those who loved me, just weren't right.
The folks here helped me sort out a few things - I think you'll find help here too
D
When I came here I had people telling me I wasn't an alcoholic either, but I knew I had to do something because I knew the way I was living, the things I was doing to myself and to those who loved me, just weren't right.
The folks here helped me sort out a few things - I think you'll find help here too
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 651
The worst of my drinking hit me at about 39. I drank similar to you up until then.
As far as "other people" go....well it will progress and "other people" will NOT pay your SR-22 insurance when you DO get a DUI. "Other pEOPLE" will NOT support your family if you lose your job, and they will NOT be the ones in a hospital bed with tubes coming from every orfice in their body when your health fails.
Just sayin
As far as "other people" go....well it will progress and "other people" will NOT pay your SR-22 insurance when you DO get a DUI. "Other pEOPLE" will NOT support your family if you lose your job, and they will NOT be the ones in a hospital bed with tubes coming from every orfice in their body when your health fails.
Just sayin
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by blixtrix 
... I've turned into a 3-glass-of-wine-a-night drinker. That's 21 drinks a week.
For a long time I claimed to be a 3 beer a night drinker, but that did not include the weekend nights where I drank 10 at the bar or the times I had some hard stuff with my beer. The reality was, for every drink I would admit to, there was at least one more that I conveniently forgot to count.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 6
It's all I drink. Occasionally, on the weekends when my kids are with their father (we're divorcing), I will have a few at lunch, nap, and then have a few more with dinner, which brings me to 5 or so drinks for the day.
I used to drink a lot more--blackouts, vomiting, daily hangovers (college years and early twenties). I have kids now. I wonder if I didn't have kids if I'd be drinking more.
All I know is that the longest I've gone without a drink as an adult (barring my pregnancies when I didn't drink) was four days. I've tried and I just have no resolve.
I realize that I don't drink as much as some, but I'm going through 4-6 bottles of wine by myself a week, drinking alone (I'm now single so I almost always drink alone), obsessing about alcohol (watching the clock and occasionally sneaking one at lunch), etc. This all just doesn't seem like a healthy way of life with alcohol. I'm beginning to think that I am dependent, even if I am not drinking as heavily as some.
I used to drink a lot more--blackouts, vomiting, daily hangovers (college years and early twenties). I have kids now. I wonder if I didn't have kids if I'd be drinking more.
All I know is that the longest I've gone without a drink as an adult (barring my pregnancies when I didn't drink) was four days. I've tried and I just have no resolve.
I realize that I don't drink as much as some, but I'm going through 4-6 bottles of wine by myself a week, drinking alone (I'm now single so I almost always drink alone), obsessing about alcohol (watching the clock and occasionally sneaking one at lunch), etc. This all just doesn't seem like a healthy way of life with alcohol. I'm beginning to think that I am dependent, even if I am not drinking as heavily as some.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,348
I actually don't think how much we drink is necessarily the prime indicator - to me its more important to look at what happens to us when we do drink...and how we react when we're not.
I think you're on the right track blix
D
I think you're on the right track blix
D
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I believe there is a new term used to describe what your case might be. I'm not sure what it is because to me the only nomenclature is just old-fashioned "drunk." But the medical community is finding reason to believe there are degrees and forms of addiction.
Simply, if you can't moderate, then I can see how that is a problem. Even if it was one drink a day and you felt an uncomfortable craving for that one drink, that's really not trivial.
Simply, if you can't moderate, then I can see how that is a problem. Even if it was one drink a day and you felt an uncomfortable craving for that one drink, that's really not trivial.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Originally Posted by blixtrix
Anyhow, fast-forward 17 years and I've turned into a 3-glass-of-wine-a-night drinker. That's 21 drinks a week.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Boleo
For a long time I claimed to be a 3 beer a night drinker, but that did not include the weekend nights where I drank 10 at the bar or the times I had some hard stuff with my beer. The reality was, for every drink I would admit to, there was at least one more that I conveniently forgot to count.
funny how half-gallons would disappear after "only a couple.......every other day or so"
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
FYI, the National Institute of Health recommends that women have no more than 7 units of alcohol per week. One bottle of wine with 12% alcohol has 9 units.
These are some facts that sobered me up:
NIAAA Publications
These are some facts that sobered me up:
NIAAA Publications
Alcohol presents yet another health challenge for women. Even in small amounts, alcohol affects women differently than men. In some ways, heavy drinking is much more risky for women than it is for men.
With any health issue, accurate information is key. There are times and ways to drink that are safer than others. Every woman is different. No amount of drinking is 100 percent safe, 100 percent of the time, for every woman. With this in mind, it’s important to know how alcohol can affect a woman’s health and safety.
How Much Is Too Much?
Sixty percent of U.S. women have at least one drink a year. Among women who drink, 13 percent have more than seven drinks per week. [You and I drink more than 87% of the female population!!!].
For women, this level of drinking is above the recommended limits published in the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which are issued jointly by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (The Dietary Guidelines can be viewed online at Nutrition.gov.)
The Dietary Guidelines define moderate drinking as no more than one drink a day for women and no more than two drinks a day for men.
The Dietary Guidelines point out that drinking more than one drink per day for women can increase the risk for motor vehicle crashes, other injuries, high blood pressure, stroke, violence, suicide, and certain types of cancer.
Some people should not drink at all, including:
Anyone under age 21
People of any age who are unable to restrict their drinking to moderate levels
Women who may become pregnant or who are pregnant
People who plan to drive, operate machinery, or take part in other activities that require attention, skill, or coordination
People taking prescription or over-the-counter medications that can interact with alcohol.
Why are lower levels of drinking recommended for women than for men? Because women are at greater risk than men for developing alcohol-related problems. Alcohol passes through the digestive tract and is dispersed in the water in the body. The more water available, the more diluted the alcohol. As a rule, men weigh more than women, and, pound for pound, women have less water in their bodies than men. Therefore, a woman’s brain and other organs are exposed to more alcohol and to more of the toxic byproducts that result when the body breaks down and eliminates alcohol.
What is a drink?
A standard drink is:
One 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler
One 5-ounce glass of wine
1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits
Keep in mind that the alcohol content of different types of beer, wine, and distilled spirits can vary quite substantially.
With any health issue, accurate information is key. There are times and ways to drink that are safer than others. Every woman is different. No amount of drinking is 100 percent safe, 100 percent of the time, for every woman. With this in mind, it’s important to know how alcohol can affect a woman’s health and safety.
How Much Is Too Much?
Sixty percent of U.S. women have at least one drink a year. Among women who drink, 13 percent have more than seven drinks per week. [You and I drink more than 87% of the female population!!!].
For women, this level of drinking is above the recommended limits published in the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which are issued jointly by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (The Dietary Guidelines can be viewed online at Nutrition.gov.)
The Dietary Guidelines define moderate drinking as no more than one drink a day for women and no more than two drinks a day for men.
The Dietary Guidelines point out that drinking more than one drink per day for women can increase the risk for motor vehicle crashes, other injuries, high blood pressure, stroke, violence, suicide, and certain types of cancer.
Some people should not drink at all, including:
Anyone under age 21
People of any age who are unable to restrict their drinking to moderate levels
Women who may become pregnant or who are pregnant
People who plan to drive, operate machinery, or take part in other activities that require attention, skill, or coordination
People taking prescription or over-the-counter medications that can interact with alcohol.
Why are lower levels of drinking recommended for women than for men? Because women are at greater risk than men for developing alcohol-related problems. Alcohol passes through the digestive tract and is dispersed in the water in the body. The more water available, the more diluted the alcohol. As a rule, men weigh more than women, and, pound for pound, women have less water in their bodies than men. Therefore, a woman’s brain and other organs are exposed to more alcohol and to more of the toxic byproducts that result when the body breaks down and eliminates alcohol.
What is a drink?
A standard drink is:
One 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler
One 5-ounce glass of wine
1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits
Keep in mind that the alcohol content of different types of beer, wine, and distilled spirits can vary quite substantially.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,902
It doesn't really matter what other people think, it's what you think.
If you are concerned about how much you drink and you go to an AA meeting and you can relate, then I would guess you have a problem with alcohol. I think that drinking 3 glasses of wine daily is cause for concern. I drank a little more than that, (but I'm a man so maybe it's the same) probably the equivalent of 4 - 5 drinks daily for years (with some weekend binges).
I was what some people call a high functioning alcoholic, never any trouble and was quite successful in many aspects of life. However, that level of daily drinking did have an effect on my body after several years, and suddenly the drinking became heavier and the physical effects became more severe.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and heavy drinking overtime will catch up with you. Imagine continuing to drink 3 glasses of wine every day for the next 15 years. That's a lot of wine. How do you think your body will respond in another 15 years when you are 50?
If you are concerned about how much you drink and you go to an AA meeting and you can relate, then I would guess you have a problem with alcohol. I think that drinking 3 glasses of wine daily is cause for concern. I drank a little more than that, (but I'm a man so maybe it's the same) probably the equivalent of 4 - 5 drinks daily for years (with some weekend binges).
I was what some people call a high functioning alcoholic, never any trouble and was quite successful in many aspects of life. However, that level of daily drinking did have an effect on my body after several years, and suddenly the drinking became heavier and the physical effects became more severe.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and heavy drinking overtime will catch up with you. Imagine continuing to drink 3 glasses of wine every day for the next 15 years. That's a lot of wine. How do you think your body will respond in another 15 years when you are 50?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 67
Welcome!
Can't add much more to what's been shared, but I tried to stay away from the whole label thing in early sobriety. What I did know for sure was that I was always obsessing about my drinking and I always carried a boatload of guilt/shame over my inability to keep my resolutions not to drink. Normal drinkers don't carry all that baggage around.
ddog
Can't add much more to what's been shared, but I tried to stay away from the whole label thing in early sobriety. What I did know for sure was that I was always obsessing about my drinking and I always carried a boatload of guilt/shame over my inability to keep my resolutions not to drink. Normal drinkers don't carry all that baggage around.
ddog
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community......
In AA you are going to meet many who drank more often
with horrific histories. That has no bearing on what you
need to do to head into a sober future.....
I've yet to meet an adult...in or out of AA....who said they were
happy their parents smelled of booze or proud of them for drinking.
All my best to you and your children
Yes you too can win over alcohol
In AA you are going to meet many who drank more often
with horrific histories. That has no bearing on what you
need to do to head into a sober future.....
I've yet to meet an adult...in or out of AA....who said they were
happy their parents smelled of booze or proud of them for drinking.
All my best to you and your children
Yes you too can win over alcohol
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I used to drink only two drinks a night, two beers, then two mixed rum drinks. Just two. Funny how those two started with one shot in each, then two, then well four or five. So I went back to beer and wine, where it dropped a bit. Then years later it progressed to scotch in my coffee when I woke up because of the swelling and aches of sleeping with a buzz, and my first beer of the day at 9 am, and one or two an hour all day. It progresses because our tolerance progresses. My folks at work threw me a party when I had to forgo alcohol for one month because of a knee surgery and having to take coumadin to prevent any clots. I had lost my tolerance and they all remember that night because it was the first time they had ever seen me stagger and slur my speech. I drank one third that night of what was the norm for me. As far as they were concerned if I didn't look or act drunk regardless of having ten drinks in four hours. Many of them are still convinced that I didn't have a problem with it, when in reality I was just high tolerance.
The medical docs were acting like I was purple when I told them I smoked three packs a day and at least 20drinks a day for the last 18 months, and wanted into their detox program. I guess even the drunks that act like drunks out there never tell the docs how much they really drink, and that was at a VA hospital!
But I never drank and drove. Had a designated or rode with another that had one. No DUI's thank goodness. I remember in my 30's when a six pack would last in the fridge a month, and I rarely had more than one a week. NO craving it back then, it was a special occasion beverage or an out to dinner snifter of B&B after a great meal. If I could have that one once in awhile it would be great but reality is that I can't drink ever again. Alcohol anyway.
For the last 18 months there were many times when I would not leave my property for two weeks at a time and scheduled all appointments in the morning so I could have my two irish coffees in the morning and get back for my beers before noon!
If you are wanting to be confirmed as an alcoholic keep drinking but the worst part is that you'll start to deny the problem more and more as your focus turns toward the next drink rather than the real life going on around you. I am with the folks that said if you think you have a problem then you are one of us. You are already connecting unwinding with alcohol exclusively. As it progresses you'll find it will be connected and in front of everything. Good on ya if you avoid the degrees that many put on it or arguing the term itself. Like a first degree burn, second degree, and third degree burn. They are all burns just different in duration of exposure and intensity. But all are burns.
The medical docs were acting like I was purple when I told them I smoked three packs a day and at least 20drinks a day for the last 18 months, and wanted into their detox program. I guess even the drunks that act like drunks out there never tell the docs how much they really drink, and that was at a VA hospital!
But I never drank and drove. Had a designated or rode with another that had one. No DUI's thank goodness. I remember in my 30's when a six pack would last in the fridge a month, and I rarely had more than one a week. NO craving it back then, it was a special occasion beverage or an out to dinner snifter of B&B after a great meal. If I could have that one once in awhile it would be great but reality is that I can't drink ever again. Alcohol anyway.
For the last 18 months there were many times when I would not leave my property for two weeks at a time and scheduled all appointments in the morning so I could have my two irish coffees in the morning and get back for my beers before noon!
If you are wanting to be confirmed as an alcoholic keep drinking but the worst part is that you'll start to deny the problem more and more as your focus turns toward the next drink rather than the real life going on around you. I am with the folks that said if you think you have a problem then you are one of us. You are already connecting unwinding with alcohol exclusively. As it progresses you'll find it will be connected and in front of everything. Good on ya if you avoid the degrees that many put on it or arguing the term itself. Like a first degree burn, second degree, and third degree burn. They are all burns just different in duration of exposure and intensity. But all are burns.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
At the end i was drinking a 6 pack and 2 bottles of wine...had a good job/home/car etc, no duis, prison, hospitals etc...i would pony up at parties too...
The only person who believed i was an alcoholic was my mother and thats only because shes neurotic and if i told her i was an alien hybrid she'd take it on board and start worrying:-)
Dont know if you alcoholic or not thats for you to find out...you will find out that even if an alcoholic has gone to hospital, got duis etc they will still be functioning btw...good luck!
The only person who believed i was an alcoholic was my mother and thats only because shes neurotic and if i told her i was an alien hybrid she'd take it on board and start worrying:-)
Dont know if you alcoholic or not thats for you to find out...you will find out that even if an alcoholic has gone to hospital, got duis etc they will still be functioning btw...good luck!
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