3 tears, nothings changed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
3 tears, nothings changed
I joined SR three years ago. I didnt last long. Three years on and nothing has changed. Except I am drinking more.
I have to stop completely, the depression after a night of drinking is too much. I can go weeks without drinking, but when I do drink I binge and end up feeling like crap.
Thats what happened last night. I was going to drive but gave in to the social pressure of 'have a drink' and ended up drink and this morning feeling my world has ended.
Help me
I have to stop completely, the depression after a night of drinking is too much. I can go weeks without drinking, but when I do drink I binge and end up feeling like crap.
Thats what happened last night. I was going to drive but gave in to the social pressure of 'have a drink' and ended up drink and this morning feeling my world has ended.
Help me
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there. I can relate such a lot to your post. I remember feeling so torn when I used to go out as I knew what would happen as I always drank and thus always got blackout drunk, waking up the next morning full of anxiety and trying to remember what I said to girls and who I may have annoyed. Basically I guess I just acted like somebody totally inebriated by alcohol.
For the last 18 months I just drank pretty much alone to avoid the inevitable altercations with bouncers/police/public when drinking to excess. I was a binge drinker like yourself and could go a week or two without a drink but always drank to get obliterated. I started to drink alone on benches as it was the only place left really or on football fields or just walking around nailing Tennants Super and Stella.
I accepted that I'm an alcoholic and that total abstinance from that first drink 'just for today' is the only way for me to progress my life forwards positively.
I used and continue to use AA, SR and much from elsewhere 'one day at a time'.
All The best, peace.
For the last 18 months I just drank pretty much alone to avoid the inevitable altercations with bouncers/police/public when drinking to excess. I was a binge drinker like yourself and could go a week or two without a drink but always drank to get obliterated. I started to drink alone on benches as it was the only place left really or on football fields or just walking around nailing Tennants Super and Stella.
I accepted that I'm an alcoholic and that total abstinance from that first drink 'just for today' is the only way for me to progress my life forwards positively.
I used and continue to use AA, SR and much from elsewhere 'one day at a time'.
All The best, peace.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 176
JuicyFruit you remind me of me. I haven't been able to quit either. That's why I stopped coming here and stopped posting. I don't drink everyday either, but when I do get drunk the effects are devastating. I hope that we can both somehow get sober. There has just got to be a better way.
((hugs))
((hugs))
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
There IS a better way, but it takes some effort and sacrifice to get there. I'd suggest you start by looking at sobriety programs, such as AA, SMART, and so on. Outpatient treatment and counseling can also be helpful. You CAN do this but support is so helpful. Take whatever help you can get and put your whole heart and soul into it. The rewards for living sober are worth it.
Welcome back!
Welcome back!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 82
Your post sounds just like me. I know where you are coming from. I was not an everyday drinker either, but when I did drink boy look out! I think at this point for me anyway I just need to remember that I cannot have that first one, that if I do it will not be the only one - ever. Glad to see you have posted here. Stay close, read alot. Lots of support here!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome back,
I can sure relate to the horrible depression and anxiety after a drinking binge. I don't know how I managed to get through those. Know that you can stop drinking and feel so much better about yourself.
I can sure relate to the horrible depression and anxiety after a drinking binge. I don't know how I managed to get through those. Know that you can stop drinking and feel so much better about yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Thank you so much.
You have no idea how comforting it was to log on and see people in the same boat. I dont feel as alone.
I have to back off the social pressure of drinking - which is extremely difficult. I live in Ireland. If you're not drinking on a night out people think something is wrong with you.
Well I am here at day one - and it starts from here. The house is stocked with fizzy soft drinks and I have a wonderful husband who supports me.
I looked at AA meetings but wasn't strong enough to go. Im just not ready for that I guess, but in time.....
You have no idea how comforting it was to log on and see people in the same boat. I dont feel as alone.
I have to back off the social pressure of drinking - which is extremely difficult. I live in Ireland. If you're not drinking on a night out people think something is wrong with you.
Well I am here at day one - and it starts from here. The house is stocked with fizzy soft drinks and I have a wonderful husband who supports me.
I looked at AA meetings but wasn't strong enough to go. Im just not ready for that I guess, but in time.....
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If I can give you a suggestion... When you're not feeling strong is EXACTLY the time to go to an AA meeting. Seriously.
Here's what I've observed--after a few days of not drinking you may find that you ARE feeling stronger, and start to think, this isn't such a big deal. And you may go along just fine for awhile, only to find after awhile, that you pick up a drink. And then the same thing may happen--it works, until it, well, doesn't.
You may be able to avoid all the back-and-forth if you go to AA and jump right in. Relapse is NOT a requirement, but it's pretty common. Once I decided I wanted sobriety and didn't want to drink again, I wanted to do everything I could to make sure I didn't drink again.
AA actually works best when you come in feeling defeated by alcohol. That's part of the first step--admitting you are powerless over it and that your life has become unmanageable. If you wait a bit, you may regain the illusion of having power over your drinking, which can lead to more drinking.
AA isn't scary at all--if you think you feel good finding a forum with people who understand, it's even better to find people in person who understand.
Here's what I've observed--after a few days of not drinking you may find that you ARE feeling stronger, and start to think, this isn't such a big deal. And you may go along just fine for awhile, only to find after awhile, that you pick up a drink. And then the same thing may happen--it works, until it, well, doesn't.
You may be able to avoid all the back-and-forth if you go to AA and jump right in. Relapse is NOT a requirement, but it's pretty common. Once I decided I wanted sobriety and didn't want to drink again, I wanted to do everything I could to make sure I didn't drink again.
AA actually works best when you come in feeling defeated by alcohol. That's part of the first step--admitting you are powerless over it and that your life has become unmanageable. If you wait a bit, you may regain the illusion of having power over your drinking, which can lead to more drinking.
AA isn't scary at all--if you think you feel good finding a forum with people who understand, it's even better to find people in person who understand.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
have to agree with Lexie. The time to go to AA and check it out is when you feel at your weakest. When you are able to admit that you cannot control alcohol and that it controls you. there is nothing scary about AA, although i understand how it can feel that way when you first go. the first meeting i went to, i wasn't sure about it, but I was sure about one thing -- i was done drinking. I had to be. I could not go on the way I was. AA isn't for everyone, so I am not suggesting you have to go. BUT, you said that for 3years, you have not been able to stop. So what you are doing isn't working. Why not try something that others have found works?
Good luck to you!
Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 147
I can relate too. Been there many times. I go for about 2 weeks and then something triggers it. I think I know my triggers by now. I was much like you in that I would binge drink, however I never ever drank everyday. I would wake up feeling like the biggest piece of crap in the world. It is a terrible feeling to say the least.
I haven't been sober long but I feel like this time is "the time."
I haven't tried AA either but I think I will if I feel weak or feel like I am wanting to get wasted.
The biggest thing is to do what is right for you and not worry about what others are saying or thinking about you. It's none of their business really. If you hate the way booze make you feel the day after then it should motivate you to really try to quit. That is the biggest thing that motivates me is thinking about the dreaded hangover the next day or days after.
Keep on trying!
I haven't been sober long but I feel like this time is "the time."
I haven't tried AA either but I think I will if I feel weak or feel like I am wanting to get wasted.
The biggest thing is to do what is right for you and not worry about what others are saying or thinking about you. It's none of their business really. If you hate the way booze make you feel the day after then it should motivate you to really try to quit. That is the biggest thing that motivates me is thinking about the dreaded hangover the next day or days after.
Keep on trying!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Back Juicy.
We are here to support and know that you can do this. I think you know your current plan isn't working and it will only continue and probably get worse.
What worked for me was quitting and getting support. You may have figured it out like I did that moderation/cutting back/controlling alcohol does not work.
Looking forward to the journey!
We are here to support and know that you can do this. I think you know your current plan isn't working and it will only continue and probably get worse.
What worked for me was quitting and getting support. You may have figured it out like I did that moderation/cutting back/controlling alcohol does not work.
Looking forward to the journey!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Juicy,
I am a first time and last time quitter and used a detox program but not AA. Nothing wrong with AA and it works for many folks. Nothing wrong with my way if it works for me.
I am fairly new here but I see a lot of folks that say folks that are determined and talk like I do are over confident and will relapse. Well that remains to be seen. But there are many successful folks that used different ways to achieve the same goal, sobriety and the ability to be happy and comfortable in our own skins again. Once we do that, the rest and the people issues all fall into place again too.
Whether I used AA is actually moot as I used the VA hospital their docs, as well as my regular doc that is not VA, family and friends who I told what I was preparing to do and why. Funny how I get unsolicited calls from my real friends every week asking how I am doing on my sobriety and not in a prying way at all, in fact even if some of them were, it wouldn't affect me as most of us are in different states and even countries. My local best friends would keep my confidences as I do theirs anyway.
In other words I could not stop on my own either, and got a lot of support in person, and made it through. So Far. The worst that you can do is nothing and just keep feeling more and more of a failure! I was there we all were or are there until we got some outside help in whatever way we could or worked for us.
Since many here have made it with AA that would seem to be a logical place to start and find out about your local resources for medical and support because believe me at a big AA meeting folks will be from all walks of life.
You and all of us can do it! None of us totally alone. As we do operate in a society.
This forum may be enough for some.
I wish you enough, for you.
I am a first time and last time quitter and used a detox program but not AA. Nothing wrong with AA and it works for many folks. Nothing wrong with my way if it works for me.
I am fairly new here but I see a lot of folks that say folks that are determined and talk like I do are over confident and will relapse. Well that remains to be seen. But there are many successful folks that used different ways to achieve the same goal, sobriety and the ability to be happy and comfortable in our own skins again. Once we do that, the rest and the people issues all fall into place again too.
Whether I used AA is actually moot as I used the VA hospital their docs, as well as my regular doc that is not VA, family and friends who I told what I was preparing to do and why. Funny how I get unsolicited calls from my real friends every week asking how I am doing on my sobriety and not in a prying way at all, in fact even if some of them were, it wouldn't affect me as most of us are in different states and even countries. My local best friends would keep my confidences as I do theirs anyway.
In other words I could not stop on my own either, and got a lot of support in person, and made it through. So Far. The worst that you can do is nothing and just keep feeling more and more of a failure! I was there we all were or are there until we got some outside help in whatever way we could or worked for us.
Since many here have made it with AA that would seem to be a logical place to start and find out about your local resources for medical and support because believe me at a big AA meeting folks will be from all walks of life.
You and all of us can do it! None of us totally alone. As we do operate in a society.
This forum may be enough for some.
I wish you enough, for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 232
I got to a point where I was just tired of being scared, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, sick and unhealthy.
I knew that if I truly wanted a better life for myself and my family I needed to stop and put some work into it instead of just wishing.
So..I dumped out all the bottles, I called an outpatient treatment center and reffered myself for treatment, I told people of importance to me that I had a drinking problem, I was an alcoholic and had a desire to stop drinking, I made an appointment for a complete physical with my GP and finally told her that I suffered from alcoholism. I started taking vitamins, and started coming to SR daily.
I have attained 30 days of sobriety so far.
Think about a plan of action that works for you and then work as hard as you can to keep on top of it! There is a lot of pride and satisfaction in taking control of a situation that has controlled you for so long. My 2 cents
I wish you the very best in your future!!
I knew that if I truly wanted a better life for myself and my family I needed to stop and put some work into it instead of just wishing.
So..I dumped out all the bottles, I called an outpatient treatment center and reffered myself for treatment, I told people of importance to me that I had a drinking problem, I was an alcoholic and had a desire to stop drinking, I made an appointment for a complete physical with my GP and finally told her that I suffered from alcoholism. I started taking vitamins, and started coming to SR daily.
I have attained 30 days of sobriety so far.
Think about a plan of action that works for you and then work as hard as you can to keep on top of it! There is a lot of pride and satisfaction in taking control of a situation that has controlled you for so long. My 2 cents
I wish you the very best in your future!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
hey JF
I went years with nothing much happening either - just the same old same old.
For me the only way out was action - some real changes to myself and my life.
It was hard work and difficult but then so was the way I was living drunk.
I was terrified, sure - but I've never regretted taking that leap of faith and doing something, stepping out of the cycle and making those changes.
Do something concrete - whether it's AA or some other group like SMART, or rehab or whatever.
You've got some great advice here - I hope you follow some of the suggestions up
D
I went years with nothing much happening either - just the same old same old.
For me the only way out was action - some real changes to myself and my life.
It was hard work and difficult but then so was the way I was living drunk.
I was terrified, sure - but I've never regretted taking that leap of faith and doing something, stepping out of the cycle and making those changes.
Do something concrete - whether it's AA or some other group like SMART, or rehab or whatever.
You've got some great advice here - I hope you follow some of the suggestions up
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 37
Today is my day #1 as well. I'm very sick with ear infection etc, however I'm going to get myself to my first meeting tonight. This isn't my first time trying to get sober, and I remember the first time I got up enough strength to walk into a room. I was so scared, but it was so worth it. It's so much easier staying sober when you are around other alcoholics and listening to their stories, and getting support from it.
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
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